I am glad I made the decision to have a natural med free birth. However, I hit my first "break down" moment last night. After I watched a hospital birthing video, I had a million things running through my mind...can I handle this, realizing I have had a fairly low pain threshold all my life so what was I thinking, and just in general scared. I should also preface, that this feeling came about a week after one of my baby showers where I went home for the weekend and my best friend and her family were in general doubting everything I wanted and essentially calling me crazy and that I couldn't handle it.
On the bright side, my husband was amazing!! When I started crying (oh pregnany hormones) he was the most calming I have ever seen him. He had me go lay down and talked me through one of the Bradley relaxation methods, which he read up on while I was out of town. It was so reassuring. He is going to be a great labor coach
What do you do when you feel a little discouraged in order to keep pushing through to your goal for a natural med free birth?
Re: Reassuring yourself when in doubt about NB
First of all stop discussing your birth plan with people that are not going to be supportive! I think at least for me pain tolerance has very little to do with how well you will tolerate labor. Contractions are so different than stubbing your toe, breaking your arm, etc. I consider myself a wimp when it comes to pain (I once cried on the phone to the receptionist when I had an ear infection for Pete's Sake), but had two med-free births without even considering an epi. So don't let your perceived pain tolerance levels be an indication of your ability to give birth.
When I started to get nervous I would listen to my Hypnobirthing CD that had birthing affirmations on it. You might consider googling it and picking a few positive affirmations to say to yourself when you feel this way.
Also, have you read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth"? The first half of the book is filled with the most beautiful, inspirational birth stories. When I was pregnant with my second I actually went back and re-read the first half of the book because the stories made me excited to give birth again.
You are stronger than you know, you can do this mama!
I completely agree with pp's. And an lol on the big needle in the back - that was my first motivation to look into NB.
A spinal headache was another concern, since I get migraines and couldn't imagine not being able to raise my head after birth. I saw on one of the baby birth shows on TV a woman who had the spinal headache and it looked horrible. Imainge not being able to sit up to even have a photo with your child or having excruciating head pain when getting up to change out your "down-below-dressings". BF-ing would also be hard since the side laying position doesn't come as natural in the begining for FTM (at least for myself and the FTM moms I know).
I would seek refuge in both Ina May's book and talk about your plans and concerns with someone you know that is supportive of your NB plans. There were a few ladies at work that had NB's and I would talk to them a lot about it and it was reasuring to hear they did it; they all warned me that it hurts, but that it's not undoable.
It sounds like you have a supportive DH and that will help tremendously.
You CAN do it! When you are in labor your brain kicks off. You stop worrying about all the things that could happen and you focus on each contractions. You will be able to do it, especially if your H is there supporting you through each contraction. As for all the naysays, you will always have people like that. I used all the negative comments I got to strengthen my resolve to go natural. I did and I loved telling them afterwards that I did it!
ETA: Contractions are painful but they are a pain you can bear and they are only temporary.
My natural birth was no walk in the park, but with an OP baby, it's very likely I would have had either a vacuum assisted delivery or a c-section if I had the epidural. Being able to move into a non-traditional position (all fours, rocking back and forth) is very likely what enabled me to deliver without assistance or surgery.
And that is pretty motivating to make sure I do it again.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
Also, the only way for labor to stop is to have a baby which is a pretty awesome outcome to pain.
I can get stuck in my head when focusing on large projects and events. What I try to do for events, and know I need to do the day of my birth, is to plan, prepare and focus on the details and control everything that I can up until the day of. Then the day of the big event, what happens happens and I did my very best to be prepared for everything.
The most successful labors I have seen on video are the ones where the women really get into their primal brains. You have to shut out everything and everyone and really let your instincts take over. That is one of the reasons I am planning a home birth, I know that someone coming in every hour to check my cervix or checking fluids and monitors all the time would keep me analyzing my labor not focusing on moving with contractions and closing out the world. That is not to say I won't end up in the hospital, but the plan is to get out of my head and really check out of my analytical side.
You gotta hope and focus your thoughts on the best, but prepare and be educated about the worst, and your options all along the way. A doula and/or birth plan can really help with that too.
My method of reassuring myself is very simple: "If they can do it, why not me?" There are many women on this board, across the internet, and throughout time who have all had successful, healthy and beautiful natural births. I've been working hard to prepare myself and even though it'll take a good dose of luck to have the birth I want, I know the question isn't whether I CAN, just whether the stars align to allow my body to do what it knows how to do!
So I guess.... faith!
All of these things and also, don't talk to ppl about your birth plan, like one of the PP stated because they will only make you second guess yourself and you don't need that. You CAN totally do this! I did it twice, once back labor and the second time was "normal" labor. I also read Ina May's "Guide to Childbirth" a few weeks before so that the stories would stick in my head and keep me "in the zone". Good luck!
As PP said, pain tolerance doesn't set the way you'll feel during labor. Labor pain is not like illness pain, your contractions come and go and you get a great cocktail of hormones in between them which help through the process. When you're giving birth you know the pain is useful and that is caused by muscle exhaustion, when you're sick the pain is worthless and it's only annoying.
Don't let people's comments affect you! Modern western women cannot believe NB is a rational decision, however if you'd speak with your grandma she would probably tell you that your friends are the crazy ones for wanting a huge needle in the spine or even a scheduled c-section! So it's better to keep your birth plans to yourself, don't even get me started about how my mom and sis reacted when I said I wanted a water birth!