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February 2012 Moms
Jlobebe2012
member
My H needs your prayers
Jlobebe2012
member
I really need some prayers and just overall good energy to hold on to. My H was diagnosed with kidney cancer this weekend. We are blind sided by the news and I feel completely numb inside. I don?t post that much, but I have been here since I POAS and was pretty active while we were pregnant. I work and go to school full time, so these days I mostly lurk. I will go in detail about what happened, as I feel I need to type it all out, but the short version is he will get about 60% of his kidney removed in 2 weeks come and we are hoping we have caught it early enough that no further treatment will be necessary after surgery.
My H works as a General Manager for a restaurant, which means he is on his feet for about 8 hours a day at least, lots of manual work. His store was getting audited last Thursday so he worked 8 days straight to get everything in shape for the visit. He started passing blood in his urine on Wednesday, but he didn?t tell me. You see, I am an RN, and in NP school, so he thought ?I would blow things out of proportion and diagnose him myself,? were his exact word, as I am guilty of being a worry wart thinking of all the ?what ifs.? On Friday I actually saw the blood in his urine myself. I walked in on him peeing in our restroom (we are very open and I see him pee all the time) and I noticed the discoloration. If I would not have seen it myself I truly believe he would not have told me. This is day #2 of blood. It was not an alarming amount, and he also admitted to feeling kind of felt drained, but he wrote it off as just being exhausted for not having a day off in over a week. We went out for dinner that night and he didn?t even touch his plate. He just picked at it and said it didn?t taste right.
D was staying with his parents Friday night. We had a date night planned dinner and playing poker. I suggested skipping poker and making a trip to urgent care or the ER and of course being the hard headed man he is, he declined and said it was NBD, he would go on his day off on Monday.
Saturday (his 1st day off in 8 days, my first "off" weekend from clinical in 6 weeks) we had our whole day planned, brunch, aquarium, concluded with red box and take out. At brunch, again, at one of our favorite places, my H didn?t eat. I knew in my heart something was not right. . Now you see my H is a 2-entree kind of guy, meaning he will clean his plate and usually eats half of mine, or sometimes will order 2 entrees. Plus, we rarely go out for food, so going out to eat is a treat, and we always go to places we LOVE. I asked him about the blood and he said it got a little worse. I demanded to see it and when I tell you it looked like cranberry juice, not even urine, I am not lying. I told him he was going to the ER whether he liked it or not. He insisted that he would just wait until Monday that he was not going to ruin our whole day. We had not had a day with just our little family of 3 in FOREVER. He was not going to win. We were going to the ER.
In all honesty I knew he needed to go for the substantial amount of blood he was loosing. Based upon his only symptom and the fact that he had no physical pain, I really thought he had a bad kidney infection and a possible stone. I never dreamed it was anything more. I just felt he needed to go as soon as possible to treat the kidney infection or detect the stone before it got any wore.
The ER was empty, so he was seen quickly. They did the normal blood work, urine sample and took him for a CT scan. We waited and the attending told us he definitely suspected a kidney infection and we were just waiting on the CT to see if he could see any stones. Well the ER doc never came back; 45 min later transport came to take him for another CT scan. That is when my head started clicking, I started questioning why they needed another scan, the nurse didn?t know anything or should I say couldn?t say anything.
Time passes by and the attending physician comes by. The horror is written all over his face. He sits and clears his throat. He starts saying that they ran 2 types of CT scans, a concentrated one and a non-concentrated one and is kind of talking around the subject. I couldn?t take it; I asked him directly, ?what did you find, and how big is it.? I knew in my heart his answer already. They found a tumor about 5 cm (the human kidney is around 10 cm) and it is densely filled (only cancer tumors appear dense in scans) and he has every reason to believe my H has kidney cancer.
My mind went blank. A doctor just told my H who is not even 30 years old that he has cancer in his kidney. Kidney cancer is common in men over the age of 60, and is most common in black men, or men that have had other complications with their urinary system. My H does not fit it any of those categories. The doctor wanted to cry as the words rolled off of his tongue.
When he left I just stared at my H. I watched the tears fill his eyes and my heart broke. I wished it was me that was just told they had cancer and not him. I wanted to feel his pain. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it we just sat in silence for the next 10 min. There was nothing that could have been said. Nothing that could change what was already done.
We stayed in the hospital the next 2 days and they ran all kind of tests and scans. All of his numbers are perfect. His blood cell count is perfect. His kidney function is perfect. People loosing this amount of blood in their urine would normally need a blood transfusion. Not my H, his urine actually went back to normal by the end of Sunday. Like normal, clear, not even a tinge of blood. We were on the oncology floor, and my H and I were sitting there playing cards and watching movies. He was not on any meds for pain or any other symptom. The nurses and doctors could not believe what the lab results were saying and that he had zero pain. They finally decided to discharge him and schedule a follow up appt with an Urologist who specializes in cancer.
This morning we visited with the urologist and we scheduled his surgery for March 18th. If all goes well he will get to keep the part of his kidney that is not affected. They think about 50% can be saved. If for any reason he feels like the tumor will spread or there is a risk, he will take the whole kidney. Humans can live with only half of 1 kidney, but since my H is so young, we want to preserve as much of it as possible. The surgery will take about 3 hours and he will be in the hospital for 3 days. He will be out of work for 3 weeks, and cannot lift anything over 10 pounds for 6 weeks, so no lifting up D.
His surgery feels so far away. I wish it was tomorrow. My head is filled with all the ?what ifs? that can occur during surgery and after surgery. I still can?t wrap my brain around everything. I feel like it is a dream. I am trying so hard to stay strong for H and D. Of course D suspects nothing at all, she is as happy as ever. I feel so thankful he went in when he did. Just the thought of what if we didn?t go blows my mind, and now his pee is clear, he is symptom free, so it could have been easily written off as stress, a minor infection ect.
Thank you for listening.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My H needs your prayers
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
I will definitely be saying an extra prayer for your DH and you as well. I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this.
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I am so so sorry to hear this news. I will be sending you good vibes. I know your life will be hectic, but please check in with us when you are able. We'll all be thinking of you.
((hugs))
There are no words that come to mind to even begin to tell you how sorry I am for your family. The only thing that I can say is that I am a firm believer in prayer and I will be praying long and hard for your H, you, and LO. I'm going to be so bold as to add a prayer here..
Dear Jesus,
I pray that you wrap your healing arms around this family Lord. Lord only you know how to heal this family. I pray that you give the doctors and nurses the wisdom and ability to treat him and take care of him. This family is so young and so many things left to do in this life. I pray that you give the doctors a steady hand during surgery and the knowledge to clear all the cancer away from his body. Please bring peace to the family as they wait for the surgery to take place, please bring peace as they wait while the surgery is taking place, and peace while "H" recovers. Lord give them the strength they all need during this time of waiting, strength during recovery, and strength for days afterwards while they wait to hear news of the outcome. Please wrap your arms around this family and show them your love and peace that only you can give.
Amen
Thank you so much for all of the prayers, thoughts, positive stories and kind words. Jmccall your prayer brought tears to my eyes, thank you for that, I needed to read that. I will keep you all posted with the outcome of the surgery.
I feel like it hasn't hit me yet. When the nurse asked us in triage at the office today why we were seeing our doctor today, when my H said I was diagnosed with kidney cancer this weekend, those words stung like a yellow jacket, my heart dropped. I took the last 2 days off from work, and I never miss work, much less call off and just to hear everyone ask me what happened and if everything is ok, I can't stand to share the story. I only told my boss because I felt like I had to. My H has not told his mom yet or any other immediate family. My family knows because D was with them when I was with H at the hospital, and my H had to call his dad to ask him what kind of cancer his grandmother had, but he made his dad promise not to tell his mom yet. He wants to tell his mom in person. I believe that it will become even more of reality once his mom and sisters know. This is the first time I have ever felt empty, but I have so much to be thankful for in my life right now I have to focus on the positive. Thanks again ladies, ya'll are the best!
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I am so sorry you are dealing with this. U are in my prayers. please keep us posted.
BFP #3 - 05.20.11, EDD - 01.31.12, Logan is here! 02.05.12
BFP #2 - 03.16.11, M/C 03.24.11
BFP #1 - 10.17.10, Blighted Ovum dx, M/C 01.09.11
212 Facebook Admin.
First, let me say, I'm sorry. I know it's not the same, but I do sort of understand. The big "C" word is the scariest thing you'll ever hear, especially if it is about your DH. My DH was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer when we were 4 or 5 months pregnant. He noticed some soreness and swelling, and luckily, I was able to convince him to be seen. He said that when he went for the ultrasound, he knew something was wrong based on the way the technician was talking to him. We were going to Vegas the day after his u/s for my cousin's wedding. That morning, DH got a call while he was in a meeting from the doctor's office asking for a call back. By the time he got it, they were gone on lunch.
We finally got ahold of the doctor's office when we parked our car in the parking garage at the airport. So, we got the news before going through security. I was a mess, but I was trying my hardest to keep it together for him. His gp talked to me because DH wasn't processing the information about what to do from there. We had to contact a Urologist as well, and they wanted to see us the same day. When I told them we were going to Vegas, they insisted that we come in the day after we got back. This, of course, made us more nervous. All weekend, it was like a roller coaster of emotions. DH was upset, then he would be happy, then he would be sad again. I had to try to get my saddness out via text to my bff b/c I truly felt that I needed to be strong for him.
When we went to the Urologist, he scheduled the surgery for the next day. Again, super scary because it's so rushed. In someone with Testicular Cancer, tumors can double in size every 10-30 days, so it was important to get it taken care of immediately.
Since the surgery, he has had 4 CT scans, and from now on, it's 2 per year, I believe.
It was very scary. and I know it's completely different from Kindney Cancer, but it's still the big scary "C" word. If you ever want to talk, you can PM me.
Good luck with everything. Your H and your family will be in my prayers. The more people that are praying, the more likely God is to hear it.