Toddlers: 24 Months+

Toddler Fears

Anyone else dealing with an incredibly sensitive fearful toddler? 

Lately our LO has been so weird about her fears.  She is a very outgoing little girl.  Never has any problems with strangers or being left with babysitters or anything along those lines.  She says Hi to every single person in the grocery store.  Sooo......recently, she has become terrified of our couch and back yard.  When I say terrified....I mean, SCREAMING like the house is on fire and the devil himself is there to take us all away......the kind of scream that makes your hair stand on end.  You will hold her and tell her that it's ok and there is nothing to be afraid of and she like claws at you to try and get away from the couch.  We finally broke the couch issue over the weekend with some ice cream and mickey mouse on the tv, but now we are stuck with the back yard.  She goes insane out there. 

 Is anyone else dealing with this intense of fear?  How are you handling it?  On one hand, I'm trying to be really sensitive to her fears and don't want to scar her for life by forcing her to deal with these things......but then on the other hand, it's totally irrational and I don't want to enable or encourage her to be freaked out by things that aren't scary.  Help!  I'm totally lost on what to do! 

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Re: Toddler Fears

  • My LO just got into a phase of being terrified of "scary spookies". I have no idea where she got this idea, but we have been dealing with it for the past few weeks. Letting her check her closet, under her bed, etc.. has helped, and every night we sprinkle "anti-spooky" dust (pretend of course) on her before bed. It has gotten to the point that when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she is screaming and won't go back to sleep for like an hour. It's hard to get her to face these types of fears, because monsters aren't real, but on other things like bugs, we just made her face them and she realized it was silly to be afraid of ants and worms. That's been my method for most situations. Have you asked her why she exactly afraid of the backyard?
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  • Last summer she was afraid of the noise from the airplanes flying over.  It took a little while but she finally got over it.  Most recently, she was out in the yard with my DH and a helicopter flew over and she ran screaming to him.  We have talked about helicopters a lot.  Curious George rides in a helicopter in one of her favorite books and one of her favorite dinner time games is having her fork be a helicopter.  DH thinks that maybe there was a spider that she saw at the same time as the helicopter flew over and the combo freaked her out.   When it was the couch, she talked about a lizard, gecko, dragon and a spider.  I'm guessing there may have been a spider on the couch the other day and she got spooked by it.  I just don't know how to help her get past this........do I keep bribing her with ice cream?  Maybe go eat Ice Cream outside in the back yard?  I don't want to train her brain to think that irrational fear = ice cream, but I am seriously lost on this one!   
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  • My DS just did this with the bathtub. Sadly, baths are not an option, so I'd be clawed and tear soaked by the end. I'm still not sure what his issue is, but he's compromised with his old baby bathseat in there. Kids are weird. Try to figure out the why behind it!
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  • DD suddenly started having a fear of going up & down the stairs.  Big pain considering we live in a bi-level so we take stairs to go outside.  I asked her pedi about it at her 2 yr appt, and he just said to try coaxing and reassuring her that it's okay, and nothing to be afraid of.  Well, that didn't work.  What worked was going to my parents house for a weekend and having DD's 3 cousins there.  The toys were upstairs so quickly got over her fear and climbed up & down the steps with her cousins all weekend.

    Could you invite some of her friends over for a playdate, and play outside? 

     

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  • My DS was recently afraid of our backyard.  I had left him out there momentarily on the patio coloring with chalk and when I came back the neighbors dog was in their yard, but barking at him.  He refused to even put one foot out the backyard for about a month after that.  Eventually, DH took him back there and when the dog came out they went over and talked to it...and now all is well.

    Is there a nearby smallish airport you can take her to where she can see small planes/helicopters take off and land?  Or to a zoo where she can see some kind of bug exhibit?  Anything you can do that's tangible to her to show her that these things aren't scary.  Do you freak out at all when YOU see a spider? 

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