Community› The Bump Month Clubs› April 2013 Moms
April 2013 Moms
New Discussion

So annoying! Warning: mom vent ahead

StephiDStephiD member
in April 2013 Moms

(So annoying! Warning: mom vent ahead) 

I am really tempted to block my mom from my facebook. This would be an especially cruel measure because she is in Australia and I am in the states and I know that she has a lot of free time and likes to look through her friends and families pages. And this is how she gets to see us, aside from our weekly skype call. The problem is that she likes and comments on everything. She "likes" things that are not positive. Her comments are either unrelated to the thing that she is commenting on(which is a pet peeve of mine) or she will relate everything to being pregnant. If I say I'm glad that I didn't get called in to work for my standby shift, she comments that it is a good thing that they aren't working the pregnant lady too hard. Um, no, this isn't why I was off, they didn't need me. If I was working too hard, I would take time off of work. I know my limits. If I say I cleaned something, she says it is nesting(and believe me, it isn't. It just means that things were messy.) Anytime I mention anything that I cook, eat, or is food related, she comments about me having cravings, then criticizes my diet. If I am annoyed at anything she says it is hormones, and it isn't, it is because the said thing is annoying! If I say I am bummed because I couldn't go paintballing with my coworkers, she tells me about how I need to protect the baby. I know that! I just hate missing out on all of the fun. 

Seriously, I know that when I got knocked up that there is a new, defenseless person that I need to take care of, but I do not cease to be a person myself. Not everything that I say, think, and do is pregnancy related!!!!!

AHH!!!!! 

(Disclaimer: A lot of what I think, say, and do is pregnancy related, but I still have other interests, you know? I try not to make my facebook all baby related. The name on the page is Stephi, not Stephi and baby, you know?) 

Thanks for that. I feel better now. 

Also, I thinking that I am going to call her and have a talk with her, because it is really getting out of hand. (and I am not the only family member she is doing this to.) 

Anniversary 

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c74c9.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

Report Reply to Post

Re: So annoying! Warning: mom vent ahead

  • elizabethnseannyelizabethnseanny
    I get the whole "I'm still me, too!" rant, but wow, this makes me feel sad for your mom! It just sounds like she is excited, caring, and interested, which is wonderful. The comment about work seems like a very natural response from a mom. I would take it all with a grain of salt and be glad not everyone in your life can only focus on the fact that your pregnant.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • tondraluvtondraluv member
    You honestly do need to talk to your mother.  She is putting your through too much drama & you don't need that stress.  Did you ever come up with a plan for the long trip she was planning on visiting for?

    image





    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Report Reply
  • Jillibean68Jillibean68 member
    I totally get where your coming from, and it sounds like she does need to be talked to about some things but also try to keep in mind that she is probably 1. Bored, 2.lonely, and 3. Super excited about your pregnancy! My step mom is like that, she's recently retired and honestly, all she ever talks about is my pregnancy.
    Report Reply
  • CrazyMary77CrazyMary77 member
    I can sort of relate to you. There are a couple relatives on my husband's side who comment on every single thing I post and often make comments that are strange and annoying. I think it's a good idea for you to call her and tell her how you feel. Perhaps since she lives so far from you, this is her primary way to stay connected to you and care for you during this time. She seems very excited about your pregnancy, and her comments probably come from a good place. I suggest you don't call her angry, though, because she might just blame it on hormones! Or get defensive. And that wouldn't be productive. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrshall10210mrshall10210 member
    I really think people our parents' age just don't "get" Facebook. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • JSS1002JSS1002 member

    And this is one of the reasons that I have yet to post anything about my pregnancy on FB, and probably won't. :-)

    She's just excited and lonely and bored, like others have said -- and misses you!  But if it bugs you, you need to talk to her about it.  She isn't a mind reader.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker   

     BabyFruit Ticker

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • nyki06nyki06 member
    She sounds like every middle aged woman that I have on Facebook. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jacmahanjacmahan member

    imagenyki06:
    She sounds like every middle aged woman that I have on Facebook. 

    This.  I hate to say it but I think this is just her way of feeling like she's a part of your pregnancy as she is so far away.  Don't take it personally, I think un-friending her would break her heart and I don't see why (from this particular post) that would be necessary.  

    Report Reply
  • StephiDStephiD member

    imagetondraluv:
    You honestly do need to talk to your mother.  She is putting your through too much drama & you don't need that stress.  Did you ever come up with a plan for the long trip she was planning on visiting for?

    We did come up with a plan. She is not coming until June like was originally planned. This is because the plane tickets were much cheaper then. And it turns out that they are bringing another couple with them, so they are going to split a hotel room. Thank goodness.

    As for facebook, I totally understand that she is excited and bored, but my mom has this horrible tendency to be ridiculous. And I'm not actually going to block her, and this post was a great vent. I am not nearly as frustrated as I was. But we are definitely going to talk. Especially about the more unnecessary/criticizing comments. Those don't need to be on my wall (I'll remind her about using messages...or calling me if she really has a problem), and they really just make her look bad. I just can't keep dealing with her drama...and I really don't want to deal with it after the baby comes.   

    Anniversary 

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c74c9.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    Report Reply
  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    imageStephiD:

    imagetondraluv:
    You honestly do need to talk to your mother.  She is putting your through too much drama & you don't need that stress.  Did you ever come up with a plan for the long trip she was planning on visiting for?

    We did come up with a plan. She is not coming until June like was originally planned. This is because the plane tickets were much cheaper then. And it turns out that they are bringing another couple with them, so they are going to split a hotel room. Thank goodness.

    As for facebook, I totally understand that she is excited and bored, but my mom has this horrible tendency to be ridiculous. And I'm not actually going to block her, and this post was a great vent. I am not nearly as frustrated as I was. But we are definitely going to talk. Especially about the more unnecessary/criticizing comments. Those don't need to be on my wall (I'll remind her about using messages...or calling me if she really has a problem), and they really just make her look bad. I just can't keep dealing with her drama...and I really don't want to deal with it after the baby comes.   

    I would just remind her that Facebook is a public forum, and everybody can see everythign she says. She should save personal stuff for your private Skype calls. Tell her that you're trying to keep details of your pregnancy off of FB for privacy reasons. Thank God my mom isn't on FB.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker   

     BabyFruit Ticker

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • farmerpinkyfarmerpinky member
    My older family members are the same way. I just police my facebook diligently.  Every time I get a notification, I read the comment and many times I delete it. It's a PITA, but people are finally starting to understand that if they choose not to use their internal filter I will impose one on them. I have unfriended an aunt for inappropriate personal comments. It caused hurt feelings, but not as bad as if we had had words in person. 
    If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.-Douglas Adams
    Report Reply
  • MarchABCMarchABC member

    "Every time I get a notification, I read the comment and many times I delete it. It's a PITA, but people are finally starting to understand that if they choose not to use their internal filter I will impose one on them."

    Made me LOL but I think her point is really valid. Facebook is public so I think you should just delete it if she chooses not to respect your wishes.  

    PP's made a lot of excuses for her behavior but I think you're right - she's not treating you respectfully and seems to be acting obsessively which may be transferred onto LO when he/she arrives and would not be okay. Love it good, obsession or over involvement shows a lack of respect for your boundaries. 

    I wish I could tell you what to say but I've been trying to work things out with my mom since DS1 was born, 2 years ago. These little things that they do may seem trivial or "spoiled" to some but can really be symptomatic of a bigger boundary issue that isn't healthy.  

    Report Reply
  • Ummito5Ummito5 member

    imageelizabethnseanny:
    I get the whole "I'm still me, too!" rant, but wow, this makes me feel sad for your mom! It just sounds like she is excited, caring, and interested, which is wonderful. The comment about work seems like a very natural response from a mom. I would take it all with a grain of salt and be glad not everyone in your life can only focus on the fact that your pregnant.

     

    THIS! 

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17c293.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"