DH not attending shower?

Tink8685 · March 2013

So my DH has expressed that he really does not want to be at the baby shower...he hated having to go to the wedding shower, so he doesn't want to have to sit through something like that again. He agreed he would bring me to the shower then come back to pick me up and help load gifts into the car and whatnot. Is it weird that he won't be there? Anyone else's DH not wanting to participate either?

jerseygirl81 · March 2013

Mine didn't come to either of mine. I don't think I've ever been to a noncoed shower where the dad to be was in attendance. He didn't come to my bridal shower, either.

KtrynReu · March 2013

I'm not married, but I've never been to a baby shower with the husband there. All the ones I've been to have been girls only.

LN1024 · March 2013

My husband did not come to mine and I've never been to a non co-ed shower that the husband stayed at.

wcvsb3b5 · March 2013

DH won't be at my shower. That's pretty much the norm from what I've seen. He didn't go to my bridal shower either.

sytom · March 2013

I really do feel that showers are a girl's thing! I actually like it much less when DH are present.

vindaloo · March 2013

Is it a couples shower? If not I wouldn't expect DH to be there. My DH did not come to either of my baby showers. The only wedding showers he came to were clearly couples showers.

jedimindtrick · March 2013

Ditto what all PP said. H's are usually not at the showers I've been to. I will prob tell my DH to stop in at the end of mine during the gift opening. Mostly because its all his fam. My fam is out of state. But if he doesn't want to then no biggie.

kasabby · March 2013

DH won't be at my shower either. He will drop me off and pick me up but wont stay through.

bananers · March 2013

vindaloo:
Is it a couples shower? If not I wouldn't expect DH to be there. My DH did not come to either of my baby showers. The only wedding showers he came to were clearly couples showers.

All of this.

TradeMama · March 2013

My DH's work threw him a shower and even though I was invited, I didn't go. I've never been to a noncoed shower with the husband there.

cmurray · March 2013

My husband is attending our coed "baby celebration" but he would definitely not want to attend a regular all ladies baby shower.It was hard enough to talk him into the coed one! No it's not weird.

sugarmamma · March 2013

My DH didn't stay either. In fact, my mom brought me to my shower.

Court1210 · March 2013

My dh is, but just because we're having a couples shower. He didn't go to our ladies only wedding shower, though.

BekW2009 · March 2013

Having DH there would be odd to me... and I'd think he would be uncomfortable.

TheyCalledHerKate · March 2013

I think it is weirder for him to be there when it's a girls-only shower

vic1011 · March 2013

DH isn't coming to my shower, and adding another to the never been to one with men there.

klibby707 · March 2013

I'm in the minority. DH came to both the bridal and baby shower. He wanted to thank everyone for the gifts for us and also for the baby to show his appreciation. I don't think it's a big deal either way, but I don't think it's weird that my DH came.

mel379 · March 2013

My husband will be at our shower, his fraternity brothers have kind of set the precedent for this but I am pretty happy he will be there. I think it would have been strange to have him at our bridal shower, but I am looking forward to having him there for the baby's party. Also because I hate being the center of attention and his being there will help take off some of the pressure ;

MAdams728 · March 2013

I'm trying to picture DH sitting at fully decorated baby shower, surrounded by chattering women, playing games. And it's just not happening, LOL

I've never been to a baby shower with the father in attendance, that would definitely seem odd to me. And I've definitely never been to a bridal shower with the fiance there, either. These are traditionally women's gatherings.

I've heard of coed showers, but never known anyone to actually have one.

Jazzy83 · March 2013

umchase:
I've never been to a shower were the DH was present. Mine isn't attending, and it hadn't occurred to anyone to invite him. His aunt is throwing the shower. He will be there to help load gifts though, but that's it.

Same here.

mslynn2012 · March 2013

My husband wouldn't step foot in a baby or bridal shower and I wouldn't expect him to.

Schell2013 · March 2013

Never been to a shower where the husband was there. I would think its no big deal or weird that he isn't going.

Tink8685 · March 2013

Thanks ladies! I feel better hearing that this isn't abnormal. Just wanted to check!

Beachy730 · March 2013

Showers are usually always ladies only that I've been too, but the H/FI usually always shows up near the end with flowers. Mine starts at 11, with food at 12, so H will probably show up around 1 or so to be there for some of the gifts.

CNJ4EVA · March 2013

In my experience, men don't attend showers unless it's specifically designated as co-ed. Even then, DH would rather not. He and his friends have started their own tradition during showers. They get together for what they call a "baconing", eating several pounds of bacon and drinking beer.

amcongdon · March 2013

I never even thought about my husband being there. Showers in my family are for the women and men don't come at all. I thought it was weird that my dad might be at one just because he would be driving my step mom up but we made other arrangements now. My husband might drop me off and come back to load gifts but probably not. So no, totally not strange.

snowgirl427 · March 2013

My DH won't be there. He had the option and chose no. He also won't be dropping me off or picking me up since its 45 mins away. No big deal for me. There will be plenty of friends to help and he'll unload once I get home!

Kashy · March 2013

My DH as not at my wedding shower and he wont be at the baby one. He does not want to be the only guy there. In my family showers are for ladies only they do no do co-ed.

I'm quite ok with him not being there if it makes him uncomfortable to be there.

botanicalbliss · March 2013

I'm certain my DH would rather not attend. However, I would really like him there, so he has obliged to come. We invited his best friend's wife so his best friend will be there with him, and my brother will also be there photographing and helping with set up and such, so he'll have some man-company.

If it doesn't bug you that he doesn't come, then just let him stay home. It's a pretty girly thing, so I understand why he wouldn't want to go.

ladymay507 · March 2013

It's not weird...the last few showers I've attended, only two is when the DH was there the entire time. A few of the others either came in the beginning to greet everyone or show up at the end to give their thanks and help load. DH is on the fence on what he will do. I told him it was fine if he didn't want to be there. It is also a more intimate setting than our wedding shower, which was at a big banquet hall so I feel like it will be okay.

tgerbig1221 · March 2013

sytom:

I really do feel that showers are a girl's thing! I actually like it much less when DH are present.

I completely agree with this. It is much more fun if it is all girls

OldGlory · March 2013

DH has only been to one baby shower and it was a small couple's surprise shower. He's thrown a Father to Be shower for a friend of his that was all guys (which was more hanging out, grilling, drinking beer and such). He's not been to a regular baby shower that was mostly women and will not likely attend my shower. I don't find it odd that he wouldn't want to be a part of a women only baby shower.

mytinc · March 2013

2010Bride2be:
My DH didn't come to my bridal shower and he won't be at the baby shower. However, he will come afterwards to load gifts into the cars like he did with the bridal shower.
I went to a baby shower where the husband was pregnant and poor guy looked so bored. Eventually my DH came and picked him up and they went for drinks.

I know it's a typo and you probably meant "present," but this cracked me up. Smile

Mama-Bear · March 2013

DH wasn't even "invited" to my shower, there were no men there. He came at the end to load gifts, but that's it. I've heard of co-ed showers and know some people that have had them, but I've never even been to one.

DiFazette · March 2013

DH will be finding something else to do with the "boys" that will be attending due to traveling with their wives (grandparents, older aunts, etc). Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I find it to be poor taste when the father doesn't at least stop in while everyone is still there to say a quick thank you, not just to help with gifts after the event. This is his child, too.

I'm not suggesting they hang out all day, but I think it's rude if both of us don't give a warm appreciation for their time and generosity.

missb84 · March 2013

DH did not attend my wedding shower he went golfing with my dad and FIL and then came at the end to help me get all the presents home.

Our baby shower for DD was a coed BBQ/pool party with a keg so he and all his friends were there. If it was a traditional all girls shower he would not have come.

krismk1 · March 2013

Our shower is a brunch at a countryclub in a private room. DH will be there with my dad and brothers (not in our private room) to get to eat all the amazing food they have at the brunch. And then when its time to open present DH will be coming into our room to open with me and thank everyone for coming. He wanted to be involved and I think its great. We will have our separate girl time but he still gets to be involved too!

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