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September 2012 Moms
lauren91081
member
SAHM's
lauren91081
member
I'm not really sure what the point to this post is but since I've voiced my feelings to MH and family I thought I'd come here to see if I was the only one feeling this way.
We made the decision for me to SAH before LO was born - my company knew I wasn't returning but I still received 12 weeks of ML. To make a long story short, I just don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM. I miss working, structure, getting dressed for the day, etc. and almost feel like I'd be a better mom if I worked....the whole quality vs. quantity thing. I love being home with her and definitely feel thankful but.....IDK. Couple my feelings with the fact that we've had to move money over from savings every month since October and that doesn't make matters any better.
Just thinking outloud here....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHM's
I would maybe consider part time too. I think there's a catch 22 to both sides though. I would love to be a SAHM but I know I would miss working at the same time! I also was itching to go back to work but once I got here I wished I was home again. I would definitely consider working maybe 2-3 days for a few hours to at least get out and have adult interaction!
Cooper Edward
9.25.12
Is part-time an option?
I understand what you're saying; I miss getting out several days a week. I love being with DD, but I hate that this has translated into me being lazier with my appearance and feeling so isolated. However, it's way more economical for us if I stay home. If this is the case with you, then the only other thing I can suggest is to make a dedicated effort to look nice (for you!) and to make the same effort in socializing and getting some alone time. You might have to go out of your way to make some of that happen, but it'll make you feel so much betterLL - That's a possibility. My mom keeps saying to hold off until she can watch LO but that won't be for another year and a half.
Emasters - My first inclination was to say no but I had a great relationship with the Director of HR and I am sure she would work with me...it's a thought.
IndigoVader - LOL....I suppose I was indirectly asking that. I just feel so guilty about it for some reason. I guess because pre-baby, we had all of these notions about how great it would be to not work and SAH with her and all I can think about now is returning to work. The bolded above from your response is so true.
Thank you for your responses and listening to me whine!
Thanks everyone! MH and I got in an "argument" about this over the weekend, so it's just been on my mind. Not so much me going back to work but just how things have turned out.
I don't have any motivation to do anything around the house, clean etc., when LO is napping. IF she takes two naps during the day I eat lunch, play on the computer, try to workout or do something else. Laundry was piling up, the house was cluttered, etc. He told me he feels like he does it all when he gets home from work. Of course my first reaction was "WHAT!?", but he's right. Admittedly, I don't cook either....never have.....so add that to Hubs list. LOL.
I guess I will look into my options, I need to get the ball rolling instead of complaining and just "talking" about doing something and not going through with it.
ETA - I know it's a catch 22 and I'm guilty of "the grass is always greener" syndrome!
You need a job--for your mental health and to help out with the bills so you don't have to pull from savings. Easier said than done depending on the cost of childcare and pay you'll receive but it's worth a shot at just looking.
I'm not sure if everyone feels like you do but I certainly did during my maternity leave. It was great having the extra time with my girls but doing that all day every day just wasn't for me. I got to a point where I just didn't feel like myself and that's not good for anyone. Not for me, my babies, or my husband.
Good luck with whatever you decide
It's really hard! The adjustment is really difficult. I did go back to work part time. I do a little work from home and go in 1 day a week. My MIL watches the baby. I am really lucky and blessed that I have that available to me.
My H and I decided that it was important for me to stay home with the kids. There are many days I think, wow, she's probably better off at a day care. I just couldn't imagine bringing her every day and missing so many moments. This is what is important to us. I haven't nothing against working moms. it is just not for me.
Being home every day is very unmotivating. It is hard to accomplish things. People have given the advice of making lists. Do certain rooms certain days. All great advice. I am just not motivated.
A long the monetary side, one income is tough. I tightened up our budget a lot.I know how much extra we have a month. How much we can spend on groceries a week. How much per day we can spend. It is difficult to cut excess spending. But honestly, we don't need anything! Our needs and most of our wants are met. In the blink of an eye, kids will be in school and I'll be able to go back to work and I will be thankful to have spent this time with my baby!
GL in figuring out what is right for you!
This pretty much sums my situation up to a T! Thank you to everyone who responded with advice, thoughts and encouragement.
I'm just going to see what's out there. I contacted two people I know in HR at a local non-profit that I would LOVE to work for - Wounded Warrior Project and also a friend of mine at my former company said she may have something for me. It's a start!