Potluck showers

bigbootyjudi · March 2013

are tacky, right?

I'm not KU, but a co-worker of mine is. My best friend is throwing her a surprise shower, at work, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week...whatever. But, we were all invited via FB and then informed via a group FB message that we're all to bring a side dish and a beverage to be shared ("a dessert if you have extra time!"). The co-worker that the shower is for has a SIL that is handing her everything she has. So, when I asked my best friend what this girl even needs, she said "diapers, wipes, bath stuff." Her SIL has had two boys in three years, so everything is recent, and she's literally getting everything, which is why she wasn't having a shower in the first place.

I can't be alone in this, right? I mean, it's not enough that I'm bringing a gift, I have to bring my own beverage and my own food too? If it wasn't hosted by my BF, I wouldn't even go.

laurenann82 · March 2013

I think it's okay for work, though I am side-eying the fact that it's her second child. But people happily take any excuse for a party at work!

ETA: Reading comprehension fail, I just realized that it's her SIL who already has kids. Yeah, I guess I'm fine with a work potluck shower. Just get her an inexpensive gift.

bigbootyjudi · March 2013

laurenann82:
I think it's okay for work, though I am side-eying the fact that it's her second child. But people happily take any excuse for a party at work!
ETA: Reading comprehension fail, I just realized that it's her SIL who already has kids. Yeah, I guess I'm fine with a work potluck shower. Just get her an inexpensive gift.

It's at work, but not during anyone's shift. The girl works afternoons and so does everyone invited. It's at noon. I guess that's where I'm like, "what?" If we were all already there working, it'd be NBD, but we're all having to go in at noon (and for the people that work that day, they're showing up to work 3 hours early).

tilsonc · March 2013

I think potluck is fine for work. I would get her something small if you are worried about bringing the food and a gift.

Shoegal36 · March 2013

milkergirl1:
I agree, potluck showers are tacky. But at my work, they try to find every excuse to have a potluck, so they happen at least once a month. If this was at someone's house, I'd be very annoyed, but at work I'm ok with potlucks.

I agree with this. Any showers held at my work are very casual, pot lucks, with invitation by group email. I wouldn't compare them to a regular shower, even if it happens to be the only shower that person is having. Also, we aren't allowed to hold these during our work hours so they have to be done during lunch, or after everyone's shift ends.

cinderin · March 2013

milkergirl1:
I agree, potluck showers are tacky. But at my work, they try to find every excuse to have a potluck, so they happen at least once a month. If this was at someone's house, I'd be very annoyed, but at work I'm ok with potlucks.

Yup. If it were a pot luck non-work shower I would probably decline. We do work potlucks all the time, so I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Like one of the other posters said - I would just get a small gift. It sounds like she doesn't need much anyway.

1026pumpkin · March 2013

tilsonc:
I think potluck is fine for work. I would get her something small if you are worried about bringing the food and a gift.

This.

rhubarb123 · March 2013

The only showers I've been to that are semi-potluck were those thrown at the church by the church ladies. At both churches we've belonged to there are "circles" of women (Bible study groups actually) and they are not necessarily divided up by age or anything...just what time and location is best. Anyway, when someone is pg they throw a church-wide shower and the "circles" take turns hosting. Everyone in the circle takes in a food item.

I think maybe your BF went a little overboard with this shower. She should have just made it dessert (especially if it is in the middle of the day) and brought in some cupcakes herself. Are you close enough to her to talk about it. Maybe point out the logistics of people bringing in food in the am but not consuming it until pm (refrigerator space - keeping food hot, etc). My work shower was hosted by one person from work in her home and she made dessert and had a fruit salad. It was at 7 pm at night and there were only 8 of us there.

PunkyBooster · March 2013

Since this is a work shower, I find it no big deal tbh.

Nicolewinsbingo · March 2013

bigbootyjudi:
laurenann82:
I think it's okay for work, though I am side-eying the fact that it's her second child. But people happily take any excuse for a party at work!
ETA: Reading comprehension fail, I just realized that it's her SIL who already has kids. Yeah, I guess I'm fine with a work potluck shower. Just get her an inexpensive gift.
It's at work, but not during anyone's shift. The girl works afternoons and so does everyone invited. It's at noon. I guess that's where I'm like, "what?" If we were all already there working, it'd be NBD, but we're all having to go in at noon (and for the people that work that day, they're showing up to work 3 hours early).

I would find it really annoying to come in 3 hours early or on a day I wasn't even working and then be expected to provide food and drinks. I agree with others that if it was in the middle of the work shift then it wouldn't be a big deal, but this isn't really like that.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

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blush64 · March 2013

PunkyBooster:
Since this is a work shower, I find it no big deal tbh.

This. And if it was held at a time that wasn't good for me I just wouldn't go. I would send a gift if I was planning on getting something anyway.

Where I work we have potlucks all the time.

Emily&Chad · March 2013

tacky.

pinottoparenthood · March 2013

If it's a work shower, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I'm not sure I would ask EVERY guest to bring something, but when we had baby showers for other teachers at my old school, our department would always pitch in together and each bring one dish to the event. In my mind, a work shower is generally a much more modest affair than an outside of work shower, and I can see how it would be a lot for one person to handle to bring the food. Honestly, bring a small gift and pick something up on the way to work to bring as food. If you're that offended, just don't go.

JaynieByrd · March 2013

milkergirl1:
I agree, potluck showers are tacky. But at my work, they try to find every excuse to have a potluck, so they happen at least once a month. If this was at someone's house, I'd be very annoyed, but at work I'm ok with potlucks.

My office is the same way. No one usually even has to suggest others bring food in, they just do.

lily_721 · March 2013

I'm jealous of a work shower! I work with 99% men. They would never think of anything baby related.

Potluck work parties are nbd. Multiple-child shower and having to go to work super early? Eh, I would decline. I would give a box of diapers.

Cangel24 · March 2013

I definitely think potluck showers for work are fine. It would cost a lot of money to feed those people at work so I don't find it tacky at all. Now if we were talking about a potluck shower not at work that's a different tacky story.