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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
3litttlebirds
member
high maintenance baby?
3litttlebirds
member
Sometimes I feel like I have a high maintenance baby...but I don't know what's normal because this is my first and I haven't been around a ton of babies. But I see other couples out with their baby and it will just be sitting in it's car seat, happy as can be. I watch other moms' vlogs and their baby will be laying on the floor beside them, happy as can be. That is not my baby! He requires almost constant entertainment, movement, noise, etc. He is very happy and smiling/laughing for about 15 to 30 minutes after waking up and will lay on his own without any entertainment. But, after that, he gets fussy if you are not walking, bouncing, singing, talking, etc. It's very tiring! Plus, he's getting heavy, so it's hard for me to carry him so much. And he doesn't like being worn in a carrier!. Also, he gives little signs that he is sleepy. Goes from okay to meltdown in seconds and fights sleep like crazy. He wants to be walked and bounced in order to get to sleep, but he squirms and cries so much it's hard to hold him to get him to sleep. Anyone else's baby similar? Are you as tired as I am? :oP
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Re: high maintenance baby?
Google Dr Sears High Needs Baby. It will help. My LO is very much like this. He is the worst napper/sleeper. Lately I've been trying to reintroduce him to his crib and he's been up every hour and a half. He won't nap while we're out and I have to hold him while he's napping. He has reflux so I have to hold him up after nursing and trying to put him down after that if he's asleep is a nightmare and has been since six weeks. He's starting to show signs that he won't let his dad rock him to sleep also. My girlfriends have babies that sleep in their cribs, nap in their cribs for an hour or two at a time etc and my LO won't even nap on my bed. I have no answers other than doing my best to keep him happy.
I wouldn't necessarily call your baby "high maintenance," instead, i think the other babies you see are just easy babies.
The first thing that comes to mind w/your description is that, how much sleep and naps is your LO getting? It sounds like he's not sleeping enough, and that's why he gets fussy so soon after waking. At least that's the way w/my DS. For the past 3 wks he's been fighting naps, and when he finally does sleep, he naps for 20 minutes and wake up crying. He is cranky all.day.long.
Because he has such a hard time napping, I've only taken him out to restaurants 4 times since he's born... I'm just afraid he will have a meltdown screamfest when we're out.
So I've been working on some sleep training so he can fall asleep on his own. Also, I do whatever it takes to get him to nap longer. Since I've started, he's getting more rest and he's happier.
Try to keep a log of nap times, activity times so you can see a pattern. My LO needs to be put down for naps after about 75-90 minutes of activity time. GL!
Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI
3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c.
Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN
Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23 EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~
Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
You're not alone! Mine is getting so much better, but for awhile, I thought I was going to lose it.
He still needs lots of attention, but he's starting to be more okay hanging out in his crib when he wakes up during the night. The best thing we did was working with him so he learned how to put himself down - and back - to sleep. The way I figure it is I'm a working mom... so the few hours I see him a day, I want to spend every second with him anyway
One note -- I found the Dr. Sears definition when I was in crisis mode and bought the Fussy Baby Book thinking it would have some tips and encouragement... far from it. It's all about attachment parenting -- which is great if that works for you, but it was not going to happen here. I tried to return it and Amazon actually just gave me my money back, no return necessary. lol.
sorry this is so long.....
DD1 was just like that. word for word. I completely understand how exhausted you are physically and mentally. After having her, DH changed his mind about wanting more children (baby #2 was a surprise!).
I think it really contributed to some kind of PPA for me as I didnt know what I was doing "wrong" that my baby was not this sweet, calm, bundle of slobbery kisses that so many of my friends had. I had anxiety just thinking of taking her on a car trip or into a restaurant etc bc she would not relax and be pleasant and calm. It was mayhem no matter what I tried. Being a parent to that kind of baby created stress for me that made parenthood miserable rather than happy a lot of times.
I never figured out any tricks to make her easier, but I did learn acceptance for both her personality and the much dreaded CIO methods, which were all that worked for her. Luckily, she is now a very typical toddler--no easier or harder than most.
Now that I have DD2, who is truely so easy, I know that babies are wired differently from the beginning. You should try to do what you can to make both your life and his life more pleasant, but you may strike out much more often than people with "easy" babies. You may have to go to extreme measures like CIO because a lot of other techniques dont work with your baby. Id recommend taking help when you can get it as a little time away can help so much. For sleep situations....maybe try a sleep log for a couple days to learn his patterns and then anticipate when he'll be tired. DD didnt fight sleep much if I got her BEFORE the tired cues started. If I waited until she was fussy and yawning, there was no chance!
At the risk of being long winded:
We started following Baby Whisperer and some of the other books' advice to put him down in his crib while he was awake but drowsy. Also, to wait a couple minutes before responding at night/during naps -- we found that for ours, a lot of the time he was crying/fussing in his sleep (sad, right?!), so when we went into respond and picked him up right away, we were actually messing with his sleep.
When we first started, we'd wait a couple of minutes, then go in and "shhhh" him while trying a variety of things: rubbing his head, hand on the chest, gently "jiggling" him using a hand on the chest, etc. Nothing worked twice, but he did seem to like the jiggle.
Admittedly -- and I know this is not recommended -- we did start having him sleep on his tummy once he had full control of his head and that helped immensely. At that point, it became the tush jiggle to get him back to sleep.
Eventually the jiggle became just a hand and we weaned the "shhh." Also weaned from the paci during sleep since he'd wake up and cry if it was missing. Then started putting him down in his crib, kissing him goodnight and leaving right away.
It's ever a work in progress and he does sometimes cry, but can almost always settle in a matter of minutes. I wouldn't call what we did a no cry solution -- but it also wasn't CIO by any means.
The one thing that did not work for us was the pick up-put down Baby Whisperer talks about... he was just too intense and all of the movement just upset him more, but it seems to work for lots of people. The notion is that when LO cries, you pick him up -- but set them down in the crib as soon as they stop. We essentially did this with the other actions (jiggle, shhh, etc.) just without the pickup. Think the stopping as soon as they settle is the key -- otherwise it becomes a crutch.