Pre-School and Daycare
Teacher Conference
Just had a parent teacher conference for my 4 year old and I'm still trying to digest everything. DS attends a church playbased preschool. His teacher said although DS enjoys school and playing with his friends, he is immature for his age. He will sit during circle and story time, but will not recite or verbally participate. In fact, she said, he can go a whole day and only say a few words. He attends full day, mon thru thurs. At home, DS is a chatterbox. she said he is very sensitive and often gets his feelings hurt by other children. I have noticed that he doesn't stand up for himself when other kids get aggressive.
His teacher also mentioned that he still scribbles instead of "drawing" stick figures.
I'm not sure why I'm posting. Perhaps just to vent and write out everything i've been told and am thinking about... do children outgrow this behavior?...is it likely a sign of something else? His pedi has never had any concerns about his emotional or intellectual development.
We are also in the process of setting up a hearing eval since we have some concerns.
I know I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone has read this, thank you.
His teacher also mentioned that he still scribbles instead of "drawing" stick figures.
I'm not sure why I'm posting. Perhaps just to vent and write out everything i've been told and am thinking about... do children outgrow this behavior?...is it likely a sign of something else? His pedi has never had any concerns about his emotional or intellectual development.
We are also in the process of setting up a hearing eval since we have some concerns.
I know I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone has read this, thank you.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Teacher Conference
We just had ours a couple of weeks ago and I was disturbed but what the teacher discussed. I knw our dd had trouble paying attention and disrupts the class but she gave us more info like she has in the past thrown her lunch--that is something that I need to address when it happens NOT months later.
I could go on and on too...
I honestly can't stand this teacher but what am I to do? The Principal, (this is a catholic pre-k) suggested we could try the 4yr old program that the teacher said was too full and dd was not old enough to attend. Ya, the teacher hates me at this point. The P also said not to worry about the teacher and our dd does not have any behavior problems.
It feels good to vent, I hear ya. My pedi does not have any concerns with her either but she said if she's not following directions then maybe we should talk to a play therapist. Which we have and it's helped a little bit. We've only gone 2x.
The P knows I took her but her teacher (miss perfect) does not. Shes very judgemental and unsupportive so I will never let her know.
How did you find your play therapist? Were you referred by school? Or pedi?
Never mind, saw that you were referred by your pedi. :
We haven't started him on any sports but maybe that might be good for him. I was worried he would refuse to participate, but I guess we won't know until we try.
Aw, man! I could have written this post when my DS was 4. I hear ya, sister!
He was already learning to read at home, could count to 1000 and understand the concept of place value, blah blah. But he was almost exactly as you describe your son emotionally and socially at school. He barely participated in songs and fingerplays, he was hesitant to join in the fray on the playground, he was sensitive and quiet at school. His fine motor coordination was sketchy, and he was behind the other kids when it came to drawing, writing the alphabet and cutting.
I knew there was nothing "wrong" with my son and it wasn't a sign of anything other than the fact that his intellectual ability was maturing faster than his emotional and social abilities... and much faster than his fine motor coordination!
I'm guessing that the teacher is planting these seeds with you at the conference in order to get you thinking about K readiness. I did decide to keep my son in preschool for an additional year. His birthday was only 6 days before the cutoff, so I knew there was a chance he wouldn't be ready.
It was one of the best parenting decisions I've ever made. Around age 5 and 1/2 something just "clicked" in him, and he became more confident and independent socially. . He started K the week he turned 6, and he has had a fantastic school experience. He became and has continued to be a leader in his classroom. In fact this year in 2nd grade he was chosen to be his "Classroom Ambassador" which means he welcomes new kids who join the class mid year and is an advocate for kids who are being left out or bullied. He is among the top kids academically in his grade, but he doesn't stick out. He's somewhere in the middle of this top pack. He is about to test for his green belt in karate and is hoping to be a black belt by age 12. He wants to play clarinet when he can take instrumental music. He has a big group of friends, mostly boys, who all like pretend play and video games. He's learning to touch type (fine motor is still an issue, alas!)
If you ever need to talk to someone about the "redshirting" decision, page me on the school aged kids board. My older child was also born close to the cutoff and I did not redshirt her, which was also the right decision in her case. So, I've been through the decision 2x with different outcomes. Don't hesitate to visit the school aged kids board and ask people for advice because there are a number of moms there who have experienced similar preschool conferences!
This. Plus, it's important to remember that kids behave differently on their own than with you.
My Blog
See, it annoys the hell out of me that people equate shy to immature. I do not know him so I could not make a real guess but there is a very good chance he will outgrow it even if he is always she and reserved. I will say that in Kindrrgarten my son has changed a lot although he is still quiet. Luckily I really like his teacher which helps, hopefully next year will be better.
I taught kinder before I had kids and kids at that age develop and mature at different times. I wouldn't be over concerned. I think a lot of kids benefit from being held back a year before starting kindergarten especially if they have a later birthday.
Going into kindergarten kids should be able to write there first name, recognize some letters and numbers, count at least to 10, know colors and basic shapes, and should be able to draw simple pictures.
He was never considered immature. He has always followed the rules, listened to the teachers, helps his friends out, he just did this while not speaking. In addition his self care skills have always been great too.
I am going to assume, there were some positive comments made by the teacher in his conference too.
For us it just took time and we were planning to hold him out of kindergarten since in our old state he could have started this year at 4 yrs old, out old school agreed to hold him out too... but we moved with a new and better cutoff! But socially he was not ready, I guess if you want to call it immature, then yes. Socially he was immature. What a difference this year has made. Not only is he making friends, but he is very ready for Kindergarten in the fall!
He is still shy, but that is okay!
I found her myself by looking for ones that took our insurance and were close by. I was never recommended. Check your insurance's website and call around. Good Luck. Just this past weekend she spend 45 min just playing with her and one thing she mentioned was that she was immature and that she doesn't stay focused on one thing/game. --ya she's 3!