WWYD? (job and adoption related)

bumpuser794640 · March 2013

So as you all know, our adoption paperwork is plugging along. I have no idea at this point how long it will be before our home study is complete and we'll be waiting to be matched, nor how long I can expect that process to take before we get a take-home baby.

Additionally, I'm in my last semester of school. Librarian positions are considered "professional" - i.e. there are different grades (Librarian I-Librarian IV typically). There are also paraprofessional positions with similar grading structures (Library Specialist I-IV).

I will be done with my current contract (as a graduate library assistant) by June 1st if all goes well (no sick days between now and then, I have time to make up the hours I missed during my exam week).

I also plan to stay home with our kiddo for probably at least the first year of their life (assuming I'm not miserable as a SAHM). The problem is I don't know when that will be. I don't want to take a professional position and then be like "oh, by the way, I'm adopting and I quit" with less than a year under my belt in a new position. I would feel less badly doing that in a parapro position, but I've already applied for and not been invited for an interview for one of these positions. I suspect they felt I was overqualified for the position and feared I would move on to a professional job quickly, and didn't want to go through the hiring process and then lose me shortly thereafter. I need to stay current in my field, whether through work or volunteering.

So, WWYD? I am also a licensed massage therapist, and I could probably find a massage therapy position to hold me over until I SAH, if I need to, and then once I am ready to go back to full-time work I can re-enter the workforce as a librarian (while volunteering at the public library and possibly here at my university library as well in the meantime to stay current). This is not ideal timing for all of these changes to be happening at once, obviously, but I want to make the best decision I can.

bumpuser794640 · March 2013

Sorry for the ridiculous formatting, I c&p'd from a different page and it went crazy on me!

LaTi07 · March 2013

I agree with jalara on this. In 2011, after our first loss, we made a lot of decisions based around the idea that we would be welcoming a child into our home. When 2012 rolled around and we were still childless, we decided that we were going to make decisions for the life we had. Since adoption is an unknown journey to us and can be a very fast or a very slow process, we are going to continue on as normal. Ultimately you will have to make the decision that feels best to you, but if it was me I wouldn't pass up a possible great opportunity for something that might happen. Good luck with whatever you decide.

crene84 · March 2013

This was a big struggle for me because I really wanted the best for my boss and coworkers but also knew that when we adopted, I'd be a SAHM. What I ended up doing was just being straight with them about the fact that I was in the process, that it could take 2 months or 2 years, and that I'd need someone to be my backup when I took maternity leave. Of course maternity leave was really code for, "when I quit" but I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself in case it was a long wait. Luckily, my boss was super supportive. Good luck!

IRR · March 2013

I am in kind of the same boat. I had a contract position that ended a few days before we were suppose to bring our LO home, but that fell through. So now my contract is up and I haven't been working because the plan was I was going to be a SAHM. I am looking for new jobs but I won't apply for just anything and if I do find the perfect job that I love, I will decide if I want a nanny at that time or if I will just quit. The corporate world is not the nicest of places and after being laid off a bunch of time over the years I have decided that I need to do what is best for me and my family and if that ends up starting a new job that I need to quit in a month or two after starting, then so be it. When you are ready to return for work, you can then explain to your new employer that you only worked a short time because you were blessed with a child or just not list that job on your resume at all. GL.

maryoosa · March 2013

You keep going with life. Then, when you get a baby you leave on FMLA, and I think there are provisions where if you're leaving for child care, if you are in a state or federal system they have to keep that position for you until you come bsck.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

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potatohead · March 2013

I agree with the others on this, just live life as normal but let your potential boss know your intentions with adoption. Congratulations on being at the end of your library program! I am a fellow librarian and know how grueling some of those classes can be.

elissaann26 · March 2013

I agree with the PP's. I think you should focus on your career now and when a baby comes into your life then re-evaluate. I also loved the advice about the corporate world being harsh. No one but YOU will do want is best for you. So while it is nice to consider others in your decision, you really need to make sure you are doing what is best for you. Also, I think that quitting a job because you got a baby is one of the most understandable reasons to leave. So while it isn't ideal, I think most people wouldn't hold that against you.

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