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Adoption
Houseofchaos
member
adoption to complete your family
Houseofchaos
member
in Adoption
lurker here! I have a pretty specific question for some of you ladies that might have been in the same place as I am right now. I have a 6 yo DD and a 2 yo DS. We have lost 4 pregnancies. We want a third child and up until about a month ago I was planning on trying as long as it took and taking fertility meds for an undetermined amount of time. Then fostering was put on my heart with the intention of adoption. I have many friends who have adopted and have a few friends that are foster parents and who are adopting through foster care so it is not a foreign thing for us. We want to teach the kids we have now compassion, acceptance and lots of other lessons that would come with this sort of decision. This is the first month that I thought twice about taking my meds, that I don't really know if I want to keep trying. Maybe I'm being led away from this pursuit towards a different road. But then the thought of that scares me! I understand that the foster/adoption world is a roller coaster. Have any of you been in this type of situation? Have any of you given up the pregnancy after multiple losses pursuit to foster and/or adopt? How did you finally come to that decision?
DH, Jared 7/28/01; DD, Isabella Grace 11/28/06; said good-bye to baby 2 5/09 (11.5 weeks); said good-bye to Dakota Blu 11/09 (11.5 weeks); DS, Benjamin Cruz 12/6/10; said good-bye to babies 5 and 6 09/12 (8 weeks); baby "K" our foster son 11/28/12 came to us 1/7/14
This discussion has been closed.
Re: adoption to complete your family
We turned to adoption more and more after I suffered my 3rd loss. At that point I just wanted to be a mom, and I realized that I didn't have to have a baby come out of me to make that happen. It took DH a bit longer to be comfortable with the decision, but we went full steam ahead once we were both on the same page. We looked at our options to do foster/adopt, domestic infant adoption, or international adoption. Domestic fit for us.
Feel free to ask any other questions you may have, and to peruse the FAQs at the top of the board. Welcome!
Welcome.... this is a great place to ask questions and figure out where you want to go in your family path.
My only caution... and it may be semantics... but I think that looking at foster/adopt as a path to build compassion or other qualities with your kiddos is a dangerous approach. (I am guessing you'll agree if you step back.) The dynamics of an adopted child w/bio siblings is one that shouldn't have any added expectations. KWIM?
Good luck... it's tough to make these decision
I know what you mean and I certainly am not looking for an adopted child to teach my bio children life lessons. I guess that came out wrong. I guess I'm just excited about the idea of teaching my children that families can look different and have the same love. You don't have to birth a baby to be a mom or get a sister or a brother, etc.
I figured so much
And I agree that the idea of a family being more than what many expect is good... and not just for your children but also your friends, neighbors, relatives....