Talk to me about "Terrible 2's"

Re: Talk to me about "Terrible 2's"

• MrsWindyCity member

  March 2013

  My kid was fine until he was about 2yo and 7ish months. Before then it was the occasional tantrum and whatnot but not a huge deal. As he approaches 3, he's definitely more "terrible" and I've heard 3s/4s are worse, which I believe. 

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• QuintonsMummah member

  March 2013

  MrsWindyCity:

  I've heard 3s/4s are worse. 

   

  BLEH! That should be fun...especially with DS2 going into the 2yr phase at that time. 

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• kcisthebombdotcom member

  March 2013

  They have been pretty easy here both times. My son went through a defiant streak closer to three but it was pretty short lived. My DD is still pretty easy to manage.

  You can help avoid tantrums from beginning. Offer your children lots of choices during the day (not necessarily open ended--like do you want an apple or orange for a snack or do you want to wear the green shirt or the red one?). Choose your battles. Try to avoid saying no when you can--if your child feels in control when something is non-negotiable they're less likely to protest.

  Tantrums are usually triggered by something--hunger, exhaustion, teething pain from 2 year molars,etc. Usually if you fix the root issue you'll avoid the tantrum from reoccuring.

  

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• TiffanyBerry member

  March 2013

  KC_13:

  You can help avoid tantrums from beginning. Offer your children lots of choices during the day (not necessarily open ended--like do you want an apple or orange for a snack or do you want to wear the green shirt or the red one?). Choose your battles. Try to avoid saying no when you can--if your child feels in control when something is non-negotiable they're less likely to protest.

  Tantrums are usually triggered by something--hunger, exhaustion, teething pain from 2 year molars,etc. Usually if you fix the root issue you'll avoid the tantrum from reoccuring.

  This.  Won't make them magically disappear, but you can do a whole lot to short circuit the process.
  

  
  

  

  

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• QuintonsMummah member

  March 2013

  Thanks ladies!! I don't post here often but will be doing so soon I'm a regular on my newest LOs BMB

   

  Thanks again! 

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• sbevmc09 member

  March 2013

  MrsWindyCity:

  My kid was fine until he was about 2yo and 7ish months. Before then it was the occasional tantrum and whatnot but not a huge deal. As he approaches 3, he's definitely more "terrible" and I've heard 3s/4s are worse, which I believe. 

  Yep.  And it wasn't even tantrums really.  It's just an overall attitude shift where DS became alllll about testing limits.  That's all he does now.  

  KC has some great advice.  I'm all about choosing battles and I have found that giving DS "control" by giving choices does really help.  
  

  
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• Kingston54 member

  March 2013

  Compared to 3's, the 2's were a piece of cake!

  

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• honeybee111 member

  March 2013

  I feel like DD started the "terrible 2's" around 18 months.  By the time she actually hit 2, she kind of got the first wave of it out of her system.  Since then, I feel like she has a really bad week, and then she's an angel for a month or two.  Then, she grows a little, decides to test some limits, and it gets bad again.  She's 3 now, and I feel like her mood swings are more frequent - like this weekend was horrible, but she was in a great mood today.  DH often refers to her as being bipolar.

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• myluckypig member

  March 2013

  They were miserable for us.  Giving choices, picking battles, etc did not work or help to calm her down.  It started before 18 months and persisted pretty strong until just recently.  She still has her moments but it has gotten better.  I really struggled with figuring out ways to handle the tantrums.  I tried reading books about them, watching videos, reading things on thebump, and nothing worked.  I guess all kids have different temperaments! 

  
  
  
  

  
  

  

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• Emilia0101

  March 2013

  We are at 3.5 so I will give you a little perspective on the last 2 years. Around the age of 2 DD was having really bad tantrums. She communicated at an age appropriate level, but when she wanted it her way I didn't feel she could always address to me her needs and it ended in a meltdown. I read every book and approach that people swore by, and ended up feeling terrible that I couldn't get 123 magic or any of those other methods to work. By 2.5-3 her vocab was getting more advanced and and the tantrums were getting less frequent, now at 3.5 I feel she has really started to make huge improvements. Here are a few things that I found that worked.

  1) Look for triggers. For me once I realized the same time of day my DD was having issues I realized she needed an afternoon snack that really helped.

  2) Pick your battles. Don't turn everything into a million choices or you will go insane. Let them pick their shoes blue or black, but 10 minutes later if you are serving apples not oranges don't get sucked into trying to make everyone happy 100% of the time.

  3) Keep your cool. Walk away if you need to and don't feel bad.

  4) Keep your instructions simple, and discipline consistent.  

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• jo4janet member

  March 2013

  TiffanyBerry:

  KC_13:

  You can help avoid tantrums from beginning. Offer your children lots of choices during the day (not necessarily open ended--like do you want an apple or orange for a snack or do you want to wear the green shirt or the red one?). Choose your battles. Try to avoid saying no when you can--if your child feels in control when something is non-negotiable they're less likely to protest.

  Tantrums are usually triggered by something--hunger, exhaustion, teething pain from 2 year molars,etc. Usually if you fix the root issue you'll avoid the tantrum from reoccuring.

  This.  Won't make them magically disappear, but you can do a whole lot to short circuit the process.
  

  Thanks, this is good advice and is very resassuring, as I am going through this right now and the last two weeks have been hell with DD, but we are trekking through and doing the above is helping alot!
  

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