- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
October 2011 Moms
About to blow :(
Thats how I feel right now from all the stress. I lost my mom unexpectedly 2 weeks ago, I am a only child so I had to take care of everything. Her landlord only gave a week to get her place cleaned out. Lo had tubes, ds has strep, lo is waking every 30 mintes at night(even when I put her in bed with me) I cant sleep, I need sleep, bf is being a jerk and keeps asking "why are you crying", my nerves are shot ( my hands even shake and I have droped and broke two glass jars, a plate and a whole soda) I snap at the kids(even yell) for no reason. I dont want to do anything. I feel I am only meeting my kids minimal needs ( we have ate out everyday since my mom died) I dont know why I cant just get over it and get back to life.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: About to blow :(
I am so sorry at all you are going through and I think how you are feeling is to be expected given all of the demands that are being placed on you.
I am giving you advice that was given to me...You can only fit so much on your plate so you need to decide what absolutely must be done and what can be delegated, left for another time, or just completely forgotten about. It was also recommended to me to get a Mommy's helper if I needed one. There are websites like Sittercity.com where you can put out an ad for a Mommy's helper and maybe hire a college kid to help you clean, do laundry, shop, help clean out your Mom's place, etc. Some of these kids don't charge very much so if you can afford even $30 for 3 hrs of help it may be worth it. It may also be worth it to get some counseling to help you get through this rough time.
I hope your BF gets it together and starts helping you more. I am not sure if you have tried to be direct with him and tell him how overwhelmed you are and exactly what you need help with but it might pay off to try.
This will eventually pass but hang in there and I am keeping you in my T&Ps. Lots of hugs to you.
If you can get someone to watch your LOs while you get rest then I suggest trying Tylenol PM. It is OTC, pretty mild, but works good too. I can still wake up if DS cries when I am using this.
Burned by the Bear
I am so upset with your bf right now. The guy needs to step it up. I'm not usually one who even comments on testes posts but I am seriously pissed. Your mom's death isn't your fault and I highly suggest getting some counseling to help you deal. I wouldn't take sleeping meds if I were you either especially if you're bed sharing...If your bf won't get up with the baby because he's making the money then he needs to hand over some of that money to pay for a mother's helper so you can get a break. You need someone to help you right now, you just can't do it all and it's not fair for him to expect you to just bounce back after that kind of loss.
I agree. Your bf should NOT be guilting you at all. You just lost your mother. He needs to put on his big boy panties and step it up.
Grieving for your mom and coping with the challenges of 2 LO's is too much for any person to handle alone! I agree with PP that your bf needs to be supportive..he is adding to your stress when he should be doing everything in his power to help relieve it. Other people have made some great suggestions (looking for a mommy's helper, etc...). My sister is the director for a center for grief and loss in the DC area. Perhaps you have something similar near you that may help provide you with resources or suggestions. Below is a link to a page for the center at which she works. It has some general information about grief and loss and suggestions for coping. If nothing else, it might help you see that you everything you are experiencing is a normal part of grieving and that it will get better. I wish I could do something to help you. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. ((hugs))
https://wendtcenter.org/grief/when-to-seek-help.html
Is there anyone near you that could spend the night? Just one night or one weekend? Aunt, cousin, friend??? I think you need to pop a couple unisom and get one or two good nights to reset yourself. I'm afraid that your LO might be feeding off your anxiety, which is preventing sleep.
If nothing else, forget about cooking and cleaning for now. Rest. Take naps when your kids nap. If you cant sleep, at least try to be still. Let them watch movies and tv.
And have a serious "come to Jesus" talk with your bf. You just experienced a huge loss. Sure he works, but he can spare 1 week of cruddy sleep to give you a break.