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Is this appropriate??

kimberlybethhkimberlybethh member
in Baby Showers

Hi!

I don't post that often but I have an etiquette question for all of you. My sister-in-law will be having her fourth child this summer. I realize that it is not customary to have a full blow shower after you already have a child. However, my sil was so amazing after I had a baby last year that I would like to do something special for her and the baby. Would it be tacky to have something like a sprinkle where people just bring books? There will be almost 5 years between the baby and her next youngest child so she doesn't really have any baby stuff anymore. If having something like that would be tacky do you have any other ideas? I really want to do something special for her but don't want to make her or anyone else uncomfortable. TIA!!

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Re: Is this appropriate??

  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member
    How sweet of her to take such good care of you last year.  There are many, many ways to thank her - give her some babysitting, invite her out for an adults-only lunch or dinner, etc.
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    I would take that money you would have spent on a shower and apply it towards a gift, maybe even make her some freezer meals. 

    Honestly, she probably already has tons of books.  Just do something one on one.

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  • mommabear17mommabear17 member

    I echo the PP's sentiments. Do something special for her/the two of you. No need to involve other people.  To be blunt, if she is having her fourth child, people are sick of buying gifts for her kids, so having a gift-giving event would incur some eye rolls at the least.

    A spa day or something similarly pampering would be fabulous.

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  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie member

    You don't have to throw a party of any sort to show her you're happy for her.  The money you'd spend on a party could be better spent in this instance.

    A prenatal massage and/or mani pedi package just for her or you can buy gifts for the new baby - or buy a savings bond for him/her.

    If it were me, I'd definitely prefer one of those things to another shower or a sprinkle, they're tacky and gift-grabby as far as I'm concerned.

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  • 1026pumpkin1026pumpkin member
    I agree with PPs, rather than hosting a shower or sprinkle, which may end up offending some people (especially if you suggest what gift to bring), spend the money on stuff that you think she needs or a special time for the 2 of you- PPs have good suggestions of a spa day, offering babysitting, etc.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I would get her a weekend away with you. A nice bed n' breakfast, massage, mani.pedi, the works. She can have two days of relaxation and girl time.

    I don't have 4 kids but this sounds great even with just 1 or 2.


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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    Yes, I think that would be tacky.  If you want to do something special for HER...give her a gift card for a maternity massage (I'm sure with 3 kids she would love it!).  If you want to do "something special for her and the baby"...as you said...then maybe host (or help) a "Meet the Baby Party" once the baby is born.  It is not a gift giving event but many guests will bring a little something for the baby.  Your gift to her would be doing all the work so she can just relax with her guests (cleaning before, getting the food ready and out, clean up).
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