WWYD: Am I being too sensitive?

katigox · March 2013

Here's the original post (sorry it's not clicky) :

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72435770.aspx

EDIT added clickable link --> clickable link (I hope!)

Here's the summary though:

Around 7:30 I see a bat bigger than my hand hovering over my DS' crib and wake up my DH. He sees the bat, too; and we call our apartment office who send someone, suggesting animal control if he can't get it. DS had fallen asleep around six, but with the bat nowhere in sight, I have DH grab DS and we hide in the bedroom. I write the opening post from my phone (first time using mobile, and since I'm all over the place, I make a joke about planning to go to the ER bc of possible bat drool going into DS' mouth - but forget to add the lol) <-- I was trying to make light of a scary situation, and not let my nerves get to me!

There's a few questions about whether I'm actually concerned about about drool, but mostly I get requests for updates, since I'm heading to the ER. I honestly didn't expect anything - I didn't see any bites, DS wasn't screaming/crying, I just honestly figured they'd send us right home: but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I in no way was going to go there and make them give DS the rabies vaccine!

Anyways, once there, they call the State Health Department, and bc of the bat being so close to DS, they highly recommend the vaccine, as does the doc. I update this to the thread, and people seem to wonder why. And I'll admit, it probably is unnecessary, but it's not like I took him to the ER demanding it. Nor did I take him to some charlatan faith healer ~ I went through legitimate medical channels to take care of my son, for the slim chance he would need it, using scientifically and medically backed procedures.

And to be honest, I don't regret it: because why play Russian roulette with a disease that is 100% fatal?? I wasn't even posting all that to get their support on whether I should do it or not. I was just letting them know what was going on, atm, and then giving them updates . . . and hey, I know we aren't all going to agree on parental decisions. But I guess I was just a bit surprised about the majority of the reactions (so far), and really wanted to see what you guys think.

Am I being too sensitive to their genuine questions? Or am I right not to trust the statistics of the "what-if's"? I personally just feel like odds are just not on my side usually (i.e. my loss), and I went through all that anxiety to get my DS . . . and God knows, I know, that if something happened to DS, it's out of my control. But to knowingly allow even the slightest chance of something to occur, that's universally fatal; when in turn, I could be overly cautious, seems like a no-brainer to me. So now I'm asking . . . WWYD? What are your thoughts??

(sorry this got so long, btw!)

VeilSdeGTO · March 2013

On mobile and didn't read the original post but if it was me and the doc recommended a vax, I would. DH would think I was overreacting, but better safe than sorry.

Of course, this is also assuming there are no ill affects of the vax. Plus, bats give me the heeby jeebies.

katigox · March 2013

VeilSdeGTO:
On mobile and didn't read the original post but if it was me and the doc recommended a vax, I would. DH would think I was overreacting, but better safe than sorry. Of course, this is also assuming there are no ill affects of the vax. Plus, bats give me the heeby jeebies.

My DH was right there with me, and he wanted the vax as bad as I did, once the doc came back with his opinion, as well as the state health's department recommendation. I'm very lucky that DH and I usually always agree on parental decisions. He'd rather be safe than sorry, too!

And you should have seen me when that bat took flight and headed my way. I'm sure the poor thing was more scared of me, and just trying to run away but I ran and screamed towards my bedroom where DH was still sleeping before he was going to to work his nightshift. Instead, there I am with one of DS' blankets that we use as a playmat wrapped around my head like a crazy woman, jerking him awake by chanting "There's a bat, there's a bat!"

It sounds comical now . . . but I was terrified when it happened :P

Thanks for the reply!

EDIT forgot to add that I was assured that the rabies vax carried the same risks as any of the other vaccines he's had (no more, no less) - and he's only had a mild fever twice when he got those vaccines at 2 months. And he's on Tylenol anyway bc of his cold (so fever and discomfort should be minimal). Plus, the doses are calculated by weight, so DS wouldn't be getting like an "adult sized" dose of it or anything. That helped ease my concerns about the actual vaccine and any side effects.

Anyways, DS is still sleeping, and hasn't had any reactions yet, so I'm going to try to sleep too ~ good night everyone

JuddandJessica · March 2013

Important lesson: always always always stick with this board. Parenting after a loss mommas get it, even when we feel totally nuts.

julesjb · March 2013

I'm a veterinarian and its absolutely the right thing to do. I'd judge a pet owner who didn't act when the same situation occurred let alone with their children. It is one of those dont judge until you have walked in my shoes. most of the parents questioning would have probably freaked out. I couldn't read the original either...did they catch the bat and have it tested??

katigox · March 2013

JuddandJessica:
Important lesson: always always always stick with this board. Parenting after a loss mommas get it, even when we feel totally nuts.

I'm starting to get that . . . one of the last posts in the thread actually said, "This is either stupid MUD or your doctor is dumb" like seriously?? < I linked and highlighted information from the national immunization information page, bc she actually suggested that the vaccine was not treatment!!!

julesjb:
I'm a veterinarian and its absolutely the right thing to do. I'd judge a pet owner who didn't act when the same situation occurred let alone with their children. It is one of those dont judge until you have walked in my shoes. most of the parents questioning would have probably freaked out. I couldn't read the original either...did they catch the bat and have it tested??

Such a good point! Why would you make sure to vaccinate your dog, but not your child?

And sadly no, by the time they came, the bat was gone (though they stayed for a while, just to make sure). Between my asthma and having an infant, and it being winter, there have been no windows open in this weather. We are certain that the only place it could have come in, is through the walled AC unit (and we plan on covering that today, believe me!).

Which is why I felt even better about just being on the safe side, seeing as we didn't know the condition of the bat.

Thanks for the replies of support, I really appreciate it, after what seems like a long night of having to defend myself repeatedly (it's the internet, and I know we aren't all going to agree and get along . . . but after a while, it just felt disheartening to scroll through all those, "Really???" posts )

bluebonnetmeg · March 2013

I actually used to work on a rabies vaccine project, and yes, yes, yes you did the right thing. A bat bite is not as obvious as another animal bite - it can be painless and really hard to see, looking more like a scratch. Once you develop symptoms it is too late. You don't mess around with a totally preventable fatal virus like rabies.

JulyMomma2U2 · March 2013

I have run into things like this MULTIPLE times on the working Mom's board.. it's funny, because I often cross post on here.. and the "tone" of the responses is always SO much different.. I actually think i'm just not ever going to venture off of PAL

And, FWIW, I would have done it, too.. whatever the doc recommends. Like you, i see absolutely no reason in taking a "risk" unnecessarily. Some people may be perfectly fine with that.. but, me, I know that if something were to happen as a result of not getting the vax, I'd NEVER be able to forgive myself.. I'm not one for medicating without cause, but when an ER doc says "this is what I'd do"..that's what I'd do. And, the rabies vax has been around for ages.. we're not talking about some "newly marketed" vaccine where the effects are greatly unknown!

So scary -- I hate bats!!

JuddandJessica · March 2013

Sometimes I have a really hard time relating to parents who are not PAL, irl or not.

orangegoggles · March 2013

JuddandJessica:
Sometimes I have a really hard time relating to parents who are not PAL, irl or not.

I agree and honestly don't think you need to defend your choices. I would done the same thing!

martinimomma · March 2013

In addition to treating my child, I would need some sort of tranquilizer to recover from having seen a bat so close to my LO. ::eeeeek!::

FreyaWin2382 · March 2013

In my state if a bat is in your home while you are sleeping they recommend the vaccination every time....because you could have been bitten and not know it. I would 100% get the vaccine.

bmv1980 · March 2013

Yes, you did the right thing...and this is seriously the craziest story! A bat?! Totally nuts. I would have had a heart attack.

katigox · March 2013

*sorry I erased the original replies, but this post was getting super long with the replies, as well as my replies. Hope y'all don't mind! Still quoted the usernames though for easier reference

bluebonnetmeg:

That's what I was told last night - about the bat bite not being obvious all the times - and yeah, why not be preventive with something that's 100% fatal. Thanks so much for the reply, I appreciate the insight from someone who worked closely with it.

missbea3:

All.of.this. ~ my nerves have been frazzled by the responses (though to be fair, when I woke up this morning, there were a bunch of posts from other users who weren't on last night, totally defending me which I SO appreciate after how that thread went downhill fast . . . ) They even encouraged me not to leave or be afraid to share my experiences! Though I think I might join the more recent FB page after all

If I can snag an invite!

I will always take what a doctor says under heavy consideration, as well as what multiple studies have shown. I'm very big into researching everything, because I don't want to take an unknown risk out of ignorance. I worked too hard to have this baby, to only just loose him to some outdated (preventable) way like rabies. Like I said before, if something happened to him even with all my precautions, then I'd have to live with it. But God help me if he dies from something preventable, that I could have taken care of!

JuddandJessica:

I've been really starting to feel that way, too. I certainly don't mean to be that way (who WANTS to have a PGAL/PAL mind all.the.time). And though this may come off as a bit harsh, I think us PAL's have a bit more patience/endurance when it comes to our LO (not to say we don't all love our kids equally by any means!). I just know when I'm having a rough day with DS, and I could vent about why he isn't being "good" for me: I pause, and remember, that I would rather have a difficult day with a baby, than a happy day without one.

pangnl79:

Thanks hun. It's not like I expected everybody to agree with me in the first place, but the way that thread turned out - me having to defend a completely proven method for treating something so serious (whether it happens a lot or not anymore doesn't matter, bc WHEN it does, it's always fatal), I just felt disheartened. We all have our parental choices to make, and some don't even have the scientific/medical backing that this situation does - and still those decisions are questioned often. So why is this one met with such an offense like I'm not thinking rationally or something.

I think if one person had tried to say "The chances are so slim . . . " I would have lost it. What are the chances of a loss (I know 1-in-4, but seriously, what about those 2% who loose a LO after the first trimester - you think they want to ever hear a statistic again??). I can't rely on chance or statistics, bc I know they aren't in my favor. Why play Russian roulette with my child's life on.purpose. when it's something preventable?! Why DO I even have to explain this? It seems like a no-brainer to me :S

martinimomma:

I screamed like my/his life depended on it! Ran into the bedroom scaring the crap out of DH bc he was sleeping before he'd have to go to his nightshift. Instead, he goes pee, still sort of asleep and the bat flies by his head in the hallway!

He felt it was just as important as me to go to the ER AND get the vaccine once advised so by the doctor (and at the end of the day, so long DH supports me, that's all that really matters)

FreyaWin2382:

Luckily I wasn't asleep, so I didn't need it, and DH was safely locked away in the bedroom. We know for sure it came through the walled AC unit, because we found bat turd there this morning!

bmv1980:

Thanks for the reply. I really do appreciate the support. I mean, what are the odds of a bat hovering over DH?? lol. I wasn't going to take my chances, and straight to the ER we went.

BTW, he's almost four months, and weighs 18 pounds! I got a chunky monkey on my hands ;P Well, time to eat, lounge a bit with DH and then sometime later I'll check out the BMB again (after I've gathered some strength)

luvmyducks · March 2013

No not overreacting at all! Well, now that I know that you don't always know if you've been bitten by a bat--I'm glad I read this thread and know now. If LO didn't have any marks and didn't cry, I probably would have thought everything was fine.

A couple of the posters that were giving you a hard time were from my BMB--Sept 11. I'm wondering what brought them over to yours??....

Anywho, sorry about the whole situation and that you had some negative responses to your thread as well. ((hugs))

katigox · March 2013

phancykat:

Thank you! Technically he's four months already, but his ticker goes by date, not weeks passed since birth. At the ER last night, he weighed 18lbs! @___@

And I guess my loss has made me a sensitive little baby, when it comes to my own - and so I require a certain amount of tact and gentleness or else I feel all hurt But I can't help it! And I'd rather be overly/excessively cautious, than take even the slightest risk with my DS' health ~

luvmyducks:

Yeah, I had heard about the non-visible bat bite before, but only around the internet; so I wasn't sure - and then the doctor said that, and I was all like, "Well how will we know if the vaccine is warranted then?!" Too bad we didn't have the bat!

And I didn't even know some of them were from other boards, except that one poster who suggested it was MUD, so yeah . . . I don't know what that's about either! I only ever posted on PGAL, PAL, and my BMB. I had an original EDD of Oct. 12 but only posted on that board once at the beginning, w/out an intro, before running right back to PGAL.

During my first pregnancy, I posted on the babycenter forums. So yeah, I have no clue why other BMBs would be interested in my thread *shrugs* ~ but hey, whatever. Just glad to move forward, knowing my DS is taken care of, either way!

Teresa1896 · March 2013

I don't think you're overreacting a bit. I would flip my sh!t if I even SAW a bat, let alone saw it lurking over my sleeping child.

You've been through a lot to bring home a healthy baby. Of course you're going to be cautious and do everything possible to keep him out of harm's way.

katigox · March 2013

Teresa1896:
I don't think you're overreacting a bit. I would flip my sh!t if I even SAW a bat, let alone saw it lurking over my sleeping child. You've been through a lot to bring home a healthy baby. Of course you're going to be cautious and do everything possible to keep him out of harm's way.

Thanks Teresa! I'm just so glad that I have such a supportive group of Mama's that get it

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