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Formerly JulietTodd (Update)

4luvof2boys4luvof2boys
in Blended Families

I haven't posted in a long time, but I often lurk to keep up with many of your stories.  I still find this board to be a wealth of good information and advice.  I cannot seem to log into my old account so just created a new one.

I know blended families come with so many challenges.  Today, I just wanted to share a positive story/update.  Briefly, it has been a year and a half since I adopted my husbands two sons (14 & 16).  For the first five yrs we were married there was no contact from their BM.  DS16 asked to contact BM a year ago in January and we fully supported him.  The following July, we paid for BM to fly out and stay in our home for a week with her DD & DS.  The visit went wonderful.  DH & BM were able to bury the hatchet, and the boys got to see that BM loves them and that we can all act like adults and get along.

Since then they talk with each other on the phone approximately once a week.  BM has sent them Christmas and Birthday presents.  We exchange pictures on FB and generally continue to get along well.  BM called a few weeks ago and asked if the boys could visit her over the summer for a few weeks.  I know it was hard for DH to say yes (he has never been separated from them for more than a few days) but he did.  BM has purchased their airline tickets.

So, this summer the boys will get to have their first plane ride to another state and will be visiting their other family and siblings for 3 weeks!  I am so excited for them!  I just wanted to share the good news with folks who understand.  The rest of my support system seems to think we are crazy for allowing this.  However, they don't see the change in the kids that I do now that they know their BM loves them.  They know they always have me, but this definitely fills a hole in their tummies that would have always been there no matter how I tried to fill it.

 Thanks for listening.  Back to lurking for now but know that I root for all of you! 

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Re: Formerly JulietTodd (Update)

  • hopankahopanka member
    Good for u guys! I remember people were discouraging you from doing the visit last summer, but then again, normal mothers don't go off the deep end for 5 years. I'm glad she has turned it around and is involved with boys again, though. It's so much better for the kids. Good luck!
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  • twister22twister22 member
    What a beautiful story!
    image
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  • 4luvof2boys4luvof2boys

    imagehopanka:
    Good for u guys! I remember people were discouraging you from doing the visit last summer, but then again, normal mothers don't go off the deep end for 5 years. I'm glad she has turned it around and is involved with boys again, though. It's so much better for the kids. Good luck!

    Yes, I agree.  Even if getting to know her went badly, the boys had a right to decide for themselves and make up their own minds.  Best of luck to you as well.

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  • 4luvof2boys4luvof2boys

    imagetwister22:
    What a beautiful story!

    Thank you :)   

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