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Baby #2

meglette417meglette417 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Just looking for opinions or recommendations, by brother just got engaged and they plan on getting married July 2014.  DH and I were thinking of having baby #2 in 2014 so now we are trying to figure out when.  So maybe we need to wait another year.  I will be in the wedding as well so not sure if I want to be pregnant at that time but also having a newborn and being involved seems tiring.  Not sure if we are over thinking this too much but wasn't sure if anyone out there was pregnant and in a wedding or had a pregnant friend in theirs and what they felt.  We would prefer to stay away from Nov/Dec because it is so busy with the holidays and then we live in CT and January/Feb is just a mess with the snow.  I don't want to be rushing to the hospital in a blizzard if we can help it. TIA! 
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Re: Baby #2

  • Mrs MoJoRisinMrs MoJoRisin member
    I personally wouldn't plan around other people, even for my brothers wedding.
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  • SteelCity44SteelCity44 member
    I'm going to assume that you had an easy time getting pregnant the first time. There's a chance it won't be as easy the next time, so I would start trying whenever you're ready to, regardless of other family commitments. I think it's great that you're being considerate of them, but it would be awful if it takes longer this time, and you end up regretting waiting even longer.
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  • oliversmommy32912oliversmommy32912 member

    We are going through almost this exact same scenario. My sister is getting married next summer and they are going to be having a destination wedding so it will involve flying somewhere else. We planned to TTC #2 around the end of this summer so it is possible that I will be very pregnant or have a young baby when their wedding rolls around.

    We have done a lot of thinking about it and we have decided we are going to just continue with our plan and whatever happens happens. It took us a year to get pregnant the first time. I don't want to wait another year to try for the next baby. If we wait it could be another two years or more before I actually get pregnant and we don't want to space our children that far apart. If it turns out I can't go to the wedding then I can't go. I will be very disappointed and there will be a lot of tears but ultimately our plan for our family is more important to me than my sister's wedding. We have a very close family but she would definitely understand.

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  • Suzanne68Suzanne68 member
    I don't think those things can be planned unless you get pregnant exactly when you want to, which is highly unlikely. I would try when you are ready and not around other people's schedule and take thugs as they come. 

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  • nah82nah82 member

    I was just a "little bit" pregnant for my sister's wedding (12 weeks).  Wasn't planning to, but I got pregnant the weekend of her bridal shower, so I'd already planned and thrown the shower and bachelorette party and ordered my bridesmaid dress.  I was lucky that the dress still fit at 12 weeks and I was holding off telling my family until after the wedding so as to not steal any of her moment, so had to be crafty with the champagne toasts, shot dance, open bar, etc.

    I already had an almost 2 year old at the time, and honestly, a 2 year old that wants to run and not sit still during a wedding ceremony (because EVERYONE schedules their wedding ceremony during the same time when toddlers are normally napping in the afternoon) and throws temper tantrums is harder to deal with than a newborn that you (or a relative) can give a bottle or pacifier to keep quiet during the ceremony and can sleep in a carseat at the reception.  He was a ring bearer and did great at the ceremony, but I had my mother in law come and take him home shortly after dinner at the reception because it would've been way too long of a day for him when I needed to stay for the whole reception and help clean up.

    It may be more complicated if you are nursing and need to pump, etc., but I guess what I'm saying is don't worry about pregnancy or a newborn being inconvenient, because it won't be much more inconvenient than having a toddler will already be!

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  • melisa7901melisa7901
    It really depends on how much space you want between your little ones.  My second DD was born on the very last day of May and my brother got married in July.  I wasn't in the wedding but our older DD, who was 3.5 at the time, was the flower girl.  It actually worked out much better than I expected.  Family was wonderful in helping with both girls and the entire experience was great.  I wouldn't let their wedding deter your plans!
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  • DiveFrogDiveFrog member

    I think the place to start is do you absolutely NOT want to be pregnant, possibly miss or have a newborn and toddler at your brother's wedding. If the answer to these questions is yes then don't start until the math works out to avoid whichever of these situations you don't want to happen.

    As an example. DH and I have talked about number 2 also. With my job and the project I am running I absolutely DO NOT want to deliver before 7/1/ 2014 it would really do too much damage to my career at this point, and since DD was a month early that means in reality I do not want to be due before 8/1/2014. This means we will not be trying before November this year, period.  

    I would prefer that we do not have a November/Decemeber/January baby.... So I hope we have better luck getting pregnant right away then last time, Which took 6 months, ended in miscarriage which took 3 months, then another 6 months (so 15 months total). But, if we end up with a winter baby it isn't the end of the world and I am not going to throw those months away trying just because the baby will be born in the winter.

    It would be fabulous if we could all just decide I am going to get pregnant on x date, but that's not how it works at all. Do what is best for you and DH and the rest will work out.

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  • mrsshawnavanbmrsshawnavanb member
    I was asked to be in a friends wedding 3 months PP and I backed out. Since DD was my first, and I breastfeed, I just thought that it would all be too much. I didn't know how I could possibly do all that's involved with being in a wedding and being away from DD for so long while having to pump. That was my choice, but I was happy that I made that decision. Of course I attended the wedding but even those few hours seemed like a long time to be away from DD and I couldn't imagine having brought her along.
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