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Intro.

RSimons5RSimons5
in Blended Families

Hellooo. Been lurking a bit and decided I better introduce myself.
< This is me. Hi. Newly married, SD of 10 and SS 15, TTC for 7 months and working through being a step to two "kids" who really don't need yet another parent. :]

And per usual, BM is cray.

That is all. Thanks!

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Re: Intro.

  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    What does 'BM is cray' mean???

    Is it crazy? If it is then 'as per usual the mother is crazy' makes me laugh.

    I would rephrase it as 'as per usual the new wife swallowed a load of BS from the father'

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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    imagePhantomgirl:
    What does 'BM is cray' mean???

    Is it crazy? If it is then 'as per usual the mother is crazy' makes me laugh.

    I would rephrase it as 'as per usual the new wife swallowed a load of BS from the father'


    Haha! I just spit out my coffee.

    OP, there are lots of BMs here as well, so watch where you go with that. However, welcome.
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  • hopankahopanka member

    Phantom - thumbs up!

    OP - welcome...?

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  • RSimons5RSimons5
    I realize! Which is why I said "cray." All the posts I read were women venting about BM drama. Sarcastic play on a stereotype about new wives and ex wives.
    But I can see I shall now be lynched! My bad.
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  • IlumineIlumine member

    There are huge differences between venting about your personal situation, playing on stereotypes and writing ignorant catch phrases.

    You are not being lynched, you are being reminded that, at the very least you are talking about the mother of your husband's children and your potential child's sibling.

    In the middle you need to remember that there are three sides to every story - His, Hers and the truth.

    And in the end, you need to remember that, at one time your DH had enough respect and positive feelings for this woman that he slept with her enough times to have TWO children. 

    So her CRAY must not have bothered him too much.

    Side note: I have told my husband that he is not allowed to *** about BM to me because he choose to marry her, he choose to have a second kid with her and he choose to stay with her for 11 years.  At some point, he has to take some of the resposnibility for this.

    I hope that you stay.  Because we will be supportive of you if you are following the empethetic, common sense and forthright (ie stand firm when it is the right thing to do) path.

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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    Welcome to the board!
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  • caden1206caden1206 member
    imageIlumine:

    There are huge differences between venting about your personal situation, playing on stereotypes and writing ignorant catch phrases.

    You are not being lynched, you are being reminded that, at the very least you are talking about the mother of your husband's children and your potential child's sibling.

    In the middle you need to remember that there are three sides to every story - His, Hers and the truth.

    And in the end, you need to remember that, at one time your DH had enough respect and positive feelings for this woman that he slept with her enough times to have TWO children. 

    So her CRAY must not have bothered him too much.

    Side note: I have told my husband that he is not allowed to *** about BM to me because he choose to marry her, he choose to have a second kid with her and he choose to stay with her for 11 years.  At some point, he has to take some of the resposnibility for this.

    I hope that you stay.  Because we will be supportive of you if you are following the empethetic, common sense and forthright (ie stand firm when it is the right thing to do) path.

    You are such a cool person. My SO always laughs at me when I get frustrated and says you 'married him'. That does put it into perspective because I need to own it. Once you can own it you can move forward with just trying to do right by your children. No matter what, that kid probably loves both parents and there isn't any room for animosity. With that being said, I love places like this because you can vent and talk about stuff without involving your children or SO.

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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member

    imagePhantomgirl:
    What does 'BM is cray' mean??? Is it crazy? If it is then 'as per usual the mother is crazy' makes me laugh. I would rephrase it as 'as per usual the new wife swallowed a load of BS from the father'

    Yes  Thank you.  I've been saying this for two years now.  The new wife always believes everything their husband and his family say.  Been there done that.  And learned that everything they say isn't true.

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  • bratty44bratty44
    Im the new wife, and at first I didn't believe most of what DH told me about BM. But then I saw emails, heard phone call conversations, dealt with the BS crap she took him to court for month after month, what she accused me off, then when both parents were told to only communicate through the ourfamilywizzrd site so everything can be time/date stamped I really saw what she is like and there isn't a thing he made up about her. She truely is BSC.

    He married her, his own mistake, but most of the time her current behavior drives me more insane then him, guess he's used to it and isn't surpried by what she does anymore.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    imagebratty44:
    Im the new wife, and at first I didn't believe most of what DH told me about BM. But then I saw emails, heard phone call conversations, dealt with the BS crap she took him to court for month after month, what she accused me off, then when both parents were told to only communicate through the ourfamilywizzrd site so everything can be time/date stamped I really saw what she is like and there isn't a thing he made up about her. She truely is BSC.

    He married her, his own mistake, but most of the time her current behavior drives me more insane then him, guess he's used to it and isn't surpried by what she does anymore.


    Same here except no marriage. I am the most pro woman, pro mom, feminist around so BM had to make a real impression on me to make me feel the way I do about her
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  • RSimons5RSimons5
    imagebratty44:
    Im the new wife, and at first I didn't believe most of what DH told me about BM. But then I saw emails, heard phone call conversations, dealt with the BS crap she took him to court for month after month, what she accused me off, then when both parents were told to only communicate through the ourfamilywizzrd site so everything can be time/date stamped I really saw what she is like and there isn't a thing he made up about her. She truely is BSC.

    He married her, his own mistake, but most of the time her current behavior drives me more insane then him, guess he's used to it and isn't surpried by what she does anymore.


    This sucks. :/ We all make interesting decisions every now and then, and though I have a hard time understanding some of his, I am one of them! DH doesn't actually take about BM, he doesn't like reliving the marriage. It's the children that do, with all right.
    I just get upset when her problems hurt the kids. They're not bargaining chips... they shouldn't be used as collateral. And that's what bugs me about BM! But hey, I don't know the whole story.
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