Not sure where to post this....

xoiluvuxo09 · February 2013

But how do you feel about DH going out to play pool or have guy time..? Do you guys agree on a certain time for him to be home..? Also, do you limit how often he goes..?

jw87 · February 2013

We both agree we need a "girls night" or "guys night" every once in awhile. Reasonable for us is like 2-3 times per month. We usually just ask for a time-frame and keep in touch by cellphone.

We are both respectful of the other though and run our plans by each other first a few days ahead of time.

Edit: Usually of the 2-3 times it's during the day... not night outs usually. If it's a night out that's rare. I like to have dinner/lunch with a girlfriend and he likes to go to the shooting range, etc.

bridein08 · February 2013

DH goes shooting with friends about once a month for a few hours. In the same way, I do my thing once or twice a month for a couple hours, but it is shopping, mom group etc.

I wouldn't be comfortable with DH going out late at night with friends unless it was a specific party, because we have never been the type to go to clubs or bars, period.

We just tell each other the date/time or if I need some time on one if his days off, I just tell him I am going to run errands. We aren't picky about each of us needing time for ourselves

Allycat11 · February 2013

I have no problem with DH going out with the guys and he has no problem with me going out when I want. He doesn't need to be home by a certain time but I probably wouldn't be thrilled with him staying out much past bar close on a regular basis. We don't have rules on how often each of us can go out because neither of us go out all the time.

minerswife17 · February 2013

easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.

Emmakins87 · February 2013

One of the agreements H and I had when we got married was that we would never stop each other from being with friends or interests that we have. He goes out with his friends and I never stop him. He needs that time. He never stops me from seeing my friends or would he NEVER tell me what time to be home. We now have kind of integrated in to the same group of friends so we go out with friends alot and they are couples.

Tuesday nights I sing in a group and we practice from 7 to 9 sometimes we hang out and go to a bar after since I am not drinking I go home but I used to stay out late.

H plays in a hockey league when he can and they go drinking.... fine.

I think you are asking for trouble if you put limits on your husband.

We also know things are about to change drastically when the twins come. will take that as it comes

holz · February 2013

I admittedly have a hard time with this because DH is only home half the month, so when he's not working I feel like I want him at home both so we can spend time with him and so that I can get a break. I know it's important for him to have that time, though, and do encourage it. We've just moved here so he doesn't know too many people to go out with.

I don't give my husband a curfew. I can't imagine him staying out much past midnight, though. I wouldn't care. My one thing is that I won't baby him the next day if he's tired or hungover. It might be mean, but his night out doesn't turn into a day off, too.

minerswife17 · February 2013

LalaMama81:
cjcouple:
Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.
You have to be kidding?
It has to be a joke.

not kidding or a joke...

notreallyirish · February 2013

DH doesn't go out much since we moved because he doesn't know a ton of people here. But before he probably went out once or twice a month. If he goes out after DS is in bed, I really don't care how often it is. If I'm left to do bath and bedtime alone it's a bigger deal, but it still never happened/happens that frequently. As far as how late, I don't care as long as he isn't wasted drunk and he drags his ass out of bed at a reasonable hour the next day.

minerswife17 · February 2013

cjcouple:
Luckey4:
LalaMama81:
cjcouple:
Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.
You have to be kidding?
It has to be a joke.
not kidding or a joke...
Good luck with that.

thanks?

Arnegard · February 2013

I think that solo alone time is important to each relationship. I also think that such time should be equal.

bumpuser8448316 · February 2013

We both need "time off" from kids, each other, work, etc. I encourage him to go out with his friends when he gets invited to something. He doesn't go out nearly as often as I do, but that's his choice.

I would say anything more than once a week is probably overkill.

eaglesfan700 · February 2013

amy052006:
LalaMama81:
amy052006:
LalaMama81:
Of course. We don't have set limits on how much or how long, he's an adult I trust that he won't do anything stupid. We just check w/ the other person before making definite plans so we don't double book. Someone has to take care of the dang kids, afterall.
I was out tonight, it was an early night. I'll be at a bachelorette party tomorrow and will be home pretty late. 2 days in a row isn't the norm, but it happens.
DH goes out way more in the summer b/c of baseball. He meets his friend for dinner, they go to the game and sometimes out for a drink, depending.

Side note: Eaglesfan and I have been known to rendezvous at McFaddens at the ballpark for post game dance parties. If you are interested.
Good to know...not sure about the dancing though. Do you really dance?!
Our friends we split tickets w/ live in south philly so we usually end up somewhere there, but as long as it's not Xfinity Live, I'm happy. Though, I did get a huge $7 gin & tonic there.
To the DJ inside, no. To the cover band outside, maybe.

Possibly a September end of regular season game Philly SAHM rendezvous? I should be back in action by then

I love Xfinity Live - it has really cut down the douchebag factor at McFadden's. True story, Amynumbers and I were at McFadden's after an Eagles game and did shots out of take-n-toss sippy cups she had in her bag

eaglesfan700 · February 2013

Oh and OP - my H and I both go out regularly with friends. We of course are respectful of each other - giving a heads up to make sure it is ok scheduling wise, but no one needs to ask permission or "let" the other do anything. We never put limits on each other, but we have never gotten into a situation where one feels the other is tkaing advantage or out too much

I love my husband to pieces, but I cannot imagine a life where I never went out with my girlfriends or went anywhere without him

notkateanymore · February 2013

Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.

LOL

notkateanymore · February 2013

Luckey4:
LalaMama81:
cjcouple:
Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.
You have to be kidding?
It has to be a joke.
not kidding or a joke...

Oh it's a joke alright.

notkateanymore · February 2013

amy052006:
LalaMama81:
amy052006:
LalaMama81:
Of course. We don't have set limits on how much or how long, he's an adult I trust that he won't do anything stupid. We just check w/ the other person before making definite plans so we don't double book. Someone has to take care of the dang kids, afterall.
I was out tonight, it was an early night. I'll be at a bachelorette party tomorrow and will be home pretty late. 2 days in a row isn't the norm, but it happens.
DH goes out way more in the summer b/c of baseball. He meets his friend for dinner, they go to the game and sometimes out for a drink, depending.

Side note: Eaglesfan and I have been known to rendezvous at McFaddens at the ballpark for post game dance parties. If you are interested.
Good to know...not sure about the dancing though. Do you really dance?!
Our friends we split tickets w/ live in south philly so we usually end up somewhere there, but as long as it's not Xfinity Live, I'm happy. Though, I did get a huge $7 gin & tonic there.
To the DJ inside, no. To the cover band outside, maybe.

Please for the love of God take pictures if this happens.

notkateanymore · February 2013

DH has a couple of guys weekends a year and will go out for drinks with friends on nights we have date nights {I meet him later} or sometimes after work. I do like him to be home at a reasonable hour since I can't sleep unless he's home. I need to know he's safe and sound to fall asleep.

jenniann87 · February 2013

We actually enourage each other to go out with friends and have time to ourselves. DH goes out with his friends maybe once a month but that is only bc he works 6-7 days a week. He will occasionally stop at a friends house on the way home for a beer or two after work.

We dont give each other a curfew. We are both adults and trust each other to not do anything stupid. As long as he isnt stumbling into the house at a rediculous hour and isnt sleeping off a hangover the next day, I dont care.

I would also never "limit" him on how many times he can go out with his friends. We both need time away. It is good and healthy in a relationship.

FormerlyKrista555 · February 2013

My DH is an extremely busy guy, so he very very rarely gets to go out. When he does, it's usually something like Buffalo Wild Wings with his buddies to watch football or something else low-key. He's not at all a partier and neither are his friends.

I wouldn't tell him what time he had to be home because I'm not interested in trying to be his mom or ruin his fun... but I do have a general idea what time he'll be home. His friends also have families, so it's not like they all want to be out super late either.

peacelove&mama · March 2013

I'd love for DH to have guys night but he chooses not to, and says he's rather stay home with us. He's more of a homebody than I am.

In the summer though, he'll take the Harley out and ride with his buddies for a few hours on the weekend. I don't care how long he takes, being on that bike calms him, he typically holds onto a lot of stress. All I ask is that when they stop for coffee or whatever, to shoot me a text so I know all is good. It's amazing how many drivers don't watch for bikes.

Andrewsgal · March 2013

Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.

Okay this is just very sad, and I question what type of people have no friends.

We each have one girls night and one guys night a week, in addition to one date night. We have no curfews because we are not kids and we trust each other.

notkateanymore · March 2013

LalaMama81:
KateMW:
DH has a couple of guys weekends a year and will go out for drinks with friends on nights we have date nights {I meet him later} or sometimes after work. I do like him to be home at a reasonable hour since I can't sleep unless he's home. I need to know he's safe and sound to fall asleep.
I do undersand that feeling. I do still sleep if he isn't home, but I do like a text when he's on his way. Just nice to know he isn't dead in a ditch.

Yeah, I'm good with a text too.

nosoup4u · March 2013

I go out more often than DH does. For awhile it was because he didn't have a lot of friends in our city, whereas most of my college friends still live here. Now he has a few close guy friends who also have kids, and I've been pushing him to have a "Dad's night out" with them, but they are really lazy about organizing it.

We went out with a few other couples sans kids a few weeks ago, and it was great. I think I'd rather do that, bc it's nice to have non-kid time with each other.

ladybug122 · March 2013

My boyfriend goes out for wings and beer or to watch a game at a sports bar with his friends, usually once a week or every other week. Its totally fine with me, cause he leaves around bedtime (so he spends time with us beforehand) and I completely trust him when he's out. He's usually home by 11 or 12, but we don't set a time, he just comes home when he wants. I know this time is good for him to unwind and relax. Whenever I ask him to watch DD so I can go out alone with a friend he says yes if he's not busy with work or school, although I don't go out often (I haven't at all since our move since I don't have close friends here yet). I never have gone out at night since DD was born because she needs me for her bedtime routine, and I just have no desire to go out to bars/clubs/etc.

notkateanymore · March 2013

polkadot1022:
My boyfriend goes out for wings and beer or to watch a game at a sports bar with his friends, usually once a week or every other week. Its totally fine with me, cause he leaves around bedtime (so he spends time with us beforehand) and I completely trust him when he's out. He's usually home by 11 or 12, but we don't set a time, he just comes home when he wants. I know this time is good for him to unwind and relax. Whenever I ask him to watch DD so I can go out alone with a friend he says yes if he's not busy with work or school, although I don't go out often (I haven't at all since our move since I don't have close friends here yet). I never have gone out at night since DD was born because she needs me for her bedtime routine, and I just have no desire to go out to bars/clubs/etc.

You haven't gone out at night in almost 2 years? Lord.

notkateanymore · March 2013

LalaMama81:
"Going out w/ the guys/girls" doesn't = partying, getting trashed, clubbing all night. I mean it could, but generally speaking it doesn't.

Well, I for one am up in the club all the time. I'm awesome like that.

Andrewsgal · March 2013

LalaMama81:
"Going out w/ the guys/girls" doesn't = partying, getting trashed, clubbing all night. I mean it could, but generally speaking it doesn't.nbsp;

This! My girls nights go from dinner with margaritas, it a wine bar, or sometimes just coffee at a Starbucks. I can't remember the last time I actually went to a club or bar.

sbevmc09 · March 2013

I think getting out on our own is really important, or at least I know how important it is for me so I try to afford MH the same opportunities. He doesn't get out nearly as much as I do, but he also is usually working and is able to have lunch with co-workers and such.

He probably gets out to watch a game with his friends, or does happy hour with friends/co-workers once every other month. I get out with friends 1-2x per month in the form of book club or mom's night out for dinner or a mom's night in where we hang out or do a craft night or something. When I'm gone it's usually just for a few hours in the evening and DS is asleep for most of that time so I guess MH gets some time to himself too

I wouldn't restrict his going out, but he's considerate about it. If he was wanting to do things that weren't considerate (like going out all the time to close the bar down or something) of if he was going out frequently enough that it really cut into the time that we get to see him I would definitely let him know that it wasn't really working. When he meets people to watch games or play poker or something he's usually home by midnight-1am. I'm usually home by 10.30 or 11pm usually. We keep in touch and let the other know ETA and also when we're on our way home so that neither of us has to worry.

ToBeMrsT · March 2013

nowababy:
Arnegard:
I think that solo alone time is important to each relationship.nbsp; I also think that such time should be equal.
Yup.

agreed!

notkateanymore · March 2013

Andrewsgal:
LalaMama81:
"Going out w/ the guys/girls" doesn't = partying, getting trashed, clubbing all night. I mean it could, but generally speaking it doesn't.nbsp;
This! My girls nights go from dinner with margaritas, it a wine bar, or sometimes just coffee at a Starbucks. I can't remember the last time I actually went to a club or bar.

Don't lie...you are up in the club causing trouble all the time. Gettin' your drink on and skankin' it up.

ASullivan1231 · March 2013

Luckey4:
easy! we dont have friends except each other but for real thats all we need. we both prefer it like this.

Really? I understand being homebodies, but you don't drive each other bonkers? My husband is a homebody, more than me at least, but still have our separate time. You don't feel like you ever need girl time? Just wondering.

Not sure where to post this....

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