so frustrated . . .

a&c2005 · February 2013

It's been almost two weeks since my husband and I signed with our egg donor agency and picked our donor. Before we signed the contract, they said she was AVAILABLE. Our clinic reviewed her records even before we signed the contract and everything was good to go. They have just been waiting to hear from our donor regarding her next cycle. We also had all the legal documents prepared already. We did everything that we could to make sure that we didn't do anything to slow down the process.

Last week, after not getting any updates regarding the donor agency's communication with her, we followed up with our case manager. Now they tell us they haven't been able to reach the donor and did NOT receive ANY confirmation from her after they sent her the initial instructions regarding contacting our clinic!

Now I am really starting to wonder if she was ever available in the first place or if anyone truly confirmed that! I feel like we've been swindled! All the communication was great before the contract was signed. Medical records were promptly sent to our clinic. We were transferred to a case manager after the contract was signed. Then, all of a sudden the communication was not so great. Not sure I should be waiting any longer for a possibly non-existent donor.

happywifemomofone · February 2013

Wow!....have you given money to the agency? Sounds like they are giving you the run around. Did you sign the contract with the agency? or have your own legal drawn up? I would think that a donor who they said was available and they haven't confirmed that-that would be a default on the agencies agreement with you. Hope that you can get things straightened out with your donor-or move on to a different agency/donor. Delays when you're so anxious to move forward can be so frustrating.

a&c2005 · February 2013

Yes, we signed the agency's contract after they said she was available and after our doctor reviewed her medical records. I am an attorney myself but specifically sought the help of another attorney who specialized in this area to draft the donor agreement. I initially wanted him to review the agency agreement as well, but in his experience agencies rarely ever make the changes you request. He didn't want us wasting money for him to review a contract when the agencies historically have not agreed to make changes. I actually tried to negotiate a few changes in the agreement, and he was right. They wouldn't budge.

Unfortunately, we have given money to the agency. I'll probably have to use my lawyering skills to get our money back based on what appears to be a material misrepresentation. We paid with a credit card, so if they are not agreeable to giving us our money back, I may be able to dispute the charge with the credit card company based on that material misrepresentation.

indianasunshine · February 2013

That is so frustrating. I really hope the agency is able to straighten out this mess or agree to give you your money back. Good luck to you!

a&c2005 · February 2013

Our donor had been in communication with the agency at least 3 months ago when she had her first egg donation cycle, which resulted in a pregnancy. The agency even advertised she was great to work with. She was then reserved by another couple right before she became available to us. The agency had a duty to verify her availability before representing to us or to the prior couple that she was available.

If the agency didn't receive a response from the donor at the time we initially inquired, then the agency should have never told us she was available. We would not have signed a contract with them if we knew that from the beginning.

Before deciding on this donor and agency, I inquired with several agencies about other donors. All of them except one actually contacted and confirmed the prospective donor's availability. One agency informed me that the donor I wanted would not be available until the summer for travel, and another agency ended up removing the donor off their database when they could not contact her. It just strikes me as odd that the donor who was great to work with and was available just two weeks ago would all of a sudden be so difficult to contact.

happywifemomofone · February 2013

Our contract with the agency was not negotiable, but we had a separate contract with the donor drawn up (which was required by the agency). Our deposit was refundable, minus $1000, until the donor's first medical appointment. Our donor had her own attorney (which we paid for in our agency fee). We did negotiate with our donor's attorney regarding the donor's preference for disposition of any unused embryos. The contract with the agency was pretty cut and dry, here are the terms, this is when your money is due, this is when the donor has earned various parts of her compensation fee. Our cycle has to begin within 60 days of contact being signed by both parties, attorney's and agency. Both intended parents and donor can have one 30 day extention. I feel so awful that you are having these difficulties, sounds like you've tried to protect yourself, but your agency misrepresented what they were capable of offering.

MrsSwitzee · February 2013

So sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough to choose a donor to only have them be MIA. Hope everything works out. Good luck.

Km672 · March 2013

This is just awful. I'm so sorry. Hope you are able to get things sorted out and can proceed ASAP!

so frustrated . . .

Re: so frustrated . . .

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