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Baby Showers
loweco1
member
How to remain uninvolved?
loweco1
member
in Baby Showers
Quick background summary: DH and I live in the south, where we have no family whatsoever. His family are all up north, mine all live in the Caribbean. Closest friends are scattered all over.
I'm still early along, but have had MIL start talking/asking about shower plans, also my mom (who knows nothing about this kind of stuff, bless her), one dear friend living up north, as well as one close work colleague here in my city. I feel very blessed that I have people asking about it and showing interest, but so far, no one is outright stating that they want to actually throw one. It seems everyone is trying to figure out what others might be doing. But they don't really know each other, so are all coming to me with these questions.
Not sure if it would be appropriate for me to tell them that IF they so desire, they can get in touch with each other to discuss? I don't want to be the person asking around and trying to coordinate one or multiple showers. And in reality, of course am fine with no shower. Not that I wouldn't want one! But it just seems so difficult for anyone to coordinate since all of my cirlces are so separated. I'm thinking I'll either end up with 0 or 4 showers? lol
How would you ladies handle these questions of, "How do you think your shower is going to work out, Can I help throw it, etc?" So far, I just say "I have no idea". I feel greedy or tacky even talking about it, even though I'm not the one bringing it up.
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Re: How to remain uninvolved?
I would just say "I don't know - no one has actually offered to throw a shower, so I'm really not sure what's going to happen, if one happens at all".
The people saying "can I help?" - hopefully this will become "Oh, well, I want to - I just don't want to step on anyone's toes". To which you can say "You're the first to offer. If anyone else offers, I'll put them in touch with you...".
And that's really relying on the "who". Your local colleague? I wouldn't expect her to throw a shower for your family or distant friends. If she out and out offers - I'd just plan on it being a small, local shower.
Logistically- it sounds like your MIL and good friend could team up together to throw an "up north" shower. As for your mom - where would she even throw one? Would you fly home? Or... what?
It IS o.k. to also say "no thanks" to an offer if it's really not realistic to have one thrown by that person.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
All of this!
Thanks for the response and smart advice. Your suggestion sounds much better than my "I have no idea" and walking away
I guess I'll see how it all pans out!
I told my mom to talk to my MIL to coordinate dates (MIL's family and my family are too far apart for people to drive). My best friend talked to my mom on her own about dates.
I am completely uninvolved....and I like it that way.
How would you ladies handle these questions of, "How do you think your shower is going to work out, Can I help throw it, etc?" So far, I just say "I have no idea". I feel greedy or tacky even talking about it, even though I'm not the one bringing it up.
When asked this question I told the interested parties to call each other.