Any of you ready for another baby?...kinda long

Natali25 · March 2013

This is our first and it's been a rough road for me emotionally between not bonding well right away, ppd/ppa and having that medication cause me to gain weight. Ugh! Whole other story there. I took pg test the other day cause I had not been feeling well and my period was off. It turned out to be negative (had a stomach bug). When I told DH that is was negative he said, "Aww bummer." I guess that means he's ready for baby #2 but I'm not sure I am. I want another but I don't want to go through what I went through with baby #1.

Are you ready for another baby? If yes, how did you know you were ready? If no, why?

ds1247 · March 2013

DH would have chosen to have another one immediately, I, however, am in NO rush. I love my daughter very much, but I can't imagine having another one. I had a good(ish) pregnancy until the last 2 months and then delivery almost killed me (literally and metaphorically). I really don't know if I can go through that again, not to mention the financial strain we have been in (finally seeing the light) and the amount of work parenting takes. I asked that we not even discuss it until LO is 2. I'm going to keep praying and hopefully this time next year, we will be on the same page - whatever the decision.

Tara*N*Chris · March 2013

Having our kids close in age was something we discussed before getting married, and after having DS, I was very excited about getting KU again. I am from a close in age family and loved it, knew that was what I wanted my children to have as well.

thehillsarealive0000 · March 2013

I am nowhere near ready. My mom had my brother and I super close. She said it was hard, that she doesn't remember much because she was so sleep deprived.

mnnice · March 2013

i have two boys and they are 21 months apart, not exactly planned. I love them both but we are exhausted!! so we are waiting longer this time before we start trying or even think about another. Being a parent is hard work, but you both need to be on board and have eachothers back!

RedDDD · March 2013

well I guess yes since Im already 10 weeks pregnant. But like one other post we too did discuss having them back to back, because of our age. Believe me I understand your hesitation. I don't think I had nearly the difficult time you had but a newborn is tough and the thought of another newborn when we just got on this great routine with a great sleeper....aghh. BUT I know it is a phase that will pass and I will come out of it stronger. So we decided to get pregnant again. Ive heard positives and negitives with having them close in age and/or farther in age. I guess I prefer to get the sleep deprivation done and the pregnancy thing over with so that I can get my sense of self back and enjoy life and my kids. But that is just me. I don't know if I was ever "ready" for another baby....is anyone?

lindslalala · March 2013

No, I'm not ready. We plan to take out my IUD in August though. Last summer I was sleep deprived, still had a belly and was trying to figure out how to be a mom. The summer before that I was vomiting daily and had zero energy. I told DH I just want to have one fun summer with DS before we throw another baby and pregnancy in the mix. I loathed being pregnant so I'm really in no rush, but we do want to be done with the baby stuff sooner rather than later.

Lu24 · March 2013

We have been talking a lot about it lately. We know we wanted to have them around 2 years apart, but lately have been talking about trying sooner! We are both pretty excited about it, so it could be any time now that we start.

I had an easy pregnancy the first time, and our little girl is such a joy. Of course I know it will be challenging, but it's also really exciting!

wheelsonthebus · March 2013

F no. Seriously...it doesn't even cross my mind. My body and mind are no where near ready.

palma44 · March 2013

This is a hard one for us. I loved being pregnant and I would love to be pregnant again, but I don't think we can handle another baby for along time. We both say we aren't going to make any permanent decisions on not having another baby until #1 is 5. I go so back and forth, #1 is so easy and perfect and I feel like we still get stressed out with things sometimes so I just don't know if we are people who could handle 2 kids. Thinking about this kills me though and I wish there was a way to just know what the right thing for our family is, I hope a time comes where we just know what way to go.

nawlinsgrl · March 2013

As you can tell by my tickers, I'll be a mom of 2U2 later this year. In our case, we got married later in life (I was 37.5), and we ended up having some fertility issues, so our timeline was pushed up as a result. We were lucky to be successful with IVF on the first try both times, but there were never any guarantees.

I turn 40 in two days and both my RE and OB strongly recommended TTC #2 ASAP and before turning 40. I'm not sure how much time I had left to get pregnant this "easily," but we're both glad we are able to have two kids, which is what we wanted. I know the first year will be rough, but I'm hoping after that, they'll get along well and be playmates. DD has been a wonderfully easy child so far, so I'm hoping that continues after DS arrives, and even moreso, keeping FX that he isn't much harder, but like I did with DD, I'm preparing myself for the worst.

buzzbee24 · March 2013

wheelsonthebus:
F no. Seriously...it doesn't even cross my mind. My body and mind are no where near ready.

Lol. This.

But seriously, I am kind of terrified of another pregnancy. I had GD and Pre E and spent a month in the hospital on bedrest crossing fingers and praying that I would make it to week 37. Luckily I did (they induced then, couldn't go full term) and thank goodness little man is healthy, happy and thriving. I've never been more scared in my life. I don't know if I could go through that again,Physically, mentally or emotionally... not anytime soon and I'm no young thing either, so waiting isn't really the best option. We have discussed adoption, but not just yet. If I was younger and my body took better to pregnancy the first time around, I think I would highly consider it.

Sovello · March 2013

No no no. God... no. DH is like "LET'S HAVE FIFTY OF THEM" and I am sitting here thinking an only child sounds great! My mum is also pressuring me. I think maybe in a few years I might be ready but right now I just need to focus on me and DD. Pregnancy was fine on me, but the PP bit was really tough. I didn't realize it until it went away, but I had PPD. DH says he thought I did but apparently that isn't the kind of thing a guy can come out and say *sigh* I only started feeling like myself, like a human again, in the last month or two.

laurenmae1228 · March 2013

I did the same thing 2 weeks ago! I *knew* there was practically no chance of me being pregnant, but I was on like day 3 of a bad stomach flu, and I took a test "just in case". Also negative; it was definitely just a bug! But the emotions of wondering were pretty interesting! DH would be on board in 2 seconds if I said I wanted another today. I definitely have had lots more moments lately where I keep thinking about "#2", but in reality, we're no where near ready.

#1) We're under a huge financial strain right now and it would just be flat out irresponsible to even consider another right now.

#2) I had a ROUGH pregnancy/labor/delivery/recovery with Hyperemesis G (FINALLY mostly controlled with lots of Zofran and acid blockers after ~ week 27), GD (discovered at week 28) that required insulin injections, 24 hours of labor after a Foley/pitocin induction at 39 wks (due to the GD) that resulted in a failure to progress (despite massive contractions under 1 minute apart. Failed epidural, by the way!) and ultimately, a c-section. Then my incision opened up, I wound up with a systemic staph/strep b infection and mastitis concurrently, and after weekly visits to the wound care center at the hospital (including debriedment/packing), needed a 2nd surgery at 14 weeks postpartum to remove a forming seroma and stitch me closed again. My incision wasnt actually fully "closed" until DS was 5 months old. And I am JUST now able to really do ab exercises again!

#3) DS was not the most easy-going baby with colic for months, and a pronounced startle reflex. He didnt sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time for MONTHS. And as a result...neither did we. His nervous system seems to have worked out the kinks now; he now sleeps at least 10 hours overnight. He is still definitely more of a high-maintenance child though. I'm just envisioning how well I'd handle both him and another high-maintenance child, and until I can do that without wincing, I know I'm not ready!

Despite all of the above though....I do miss being pregnant, having a newborn, and still want more than one child. DH and I used to say 4- 5. Living in reality now, we say at least 2, hopefully 3. And since I'm in my early 30s, we are on a bit of a timeline. But we dont want to rush into anything just because of that.

beany02 · March 2013

i get excited when i think about another baby but i know realistically we arent ready financially. we want to get settled into a new house sometime this summer, and i want to enjoy a summer with just DD. I am almost back to my pre-preggo weight and i want to get back into shape before i get pregnant again. i miss my old body. I do want my kids to be close in age so hopefully around christmas we will start trying again!

KDR1979 · March 2013

It took us 3 years and 5 IVF's to get pregnant, so we don't even bother using birth control. We have one frozen embryo left. It has ~65% chance of surviving thaw and if it survives thaw, about a 30% chance of pregnancy. It will cost another ~$3K to use the frozen embryo.

Originally, we planned on 3 or 4 kids, but eventually prayed for one healthy baby. I think we got a bonus baby when we got twins. We feel so lucky and blessed, but are super sleep deprived and a little overwhelmed at times! I know it will get easier as the babies get bigger, but I do feel like I missed out on enjoying the newborn days because I had to pump (they wouldn't latch) and I was just constantly feeding and pumping and rarely sleeping! It is rare for us to have just one baby at a time...usually it's 1 parent to 2 babies almost constantly (DH works a ton and I work part time).

We'll definitely use our frozen embryo (I'm guessing in 2014) and if it doesn't work, we may start using birth control then. It's exhausting to keep wondering every month if it would ever happen spontaneously.

NatPhoto09 · March 2013

DH and I swore that DS#1 would be an only child for the first 1.5 years of his life. I had PPD and did not enjoy the first 9 months of DS#1. I felt like a robot and didn't feel like myself. I nursed DS#1 until 13.5 months and wanted to take a year after that to even consider another baby. At 2.5 years old we decided that we wanted to give DS#1 a sibling and we were ready to do it again. I worried about having PPD and was so scared of the newborn/infant stage. Fast forward 9 months, and I never had PPD depression, I really enjoyed Lucas' newborn stage and love having 2 boys. Sorry for the story but give yourself some time. You don't have to make the decision to have another baby for a while. Enjoy your LO and cherish your family of 3. GL

Irishsapphire · March 2013

I had my first baby, my son, when I was 38 years old. So when my son was 1 years old, I did feel more pressure to have another baby because I was running out of time due to my age. I really enjoyed the newborn and infant stage though the best for both kids. And the toddler stage has been more stressful for me. My son is like 90 miles an hour. My daughter is a real blessing. It just feels like our family is complete. But it is twice the cost and twice the diapers for two kids. And it is not easy having a double stroller and trying to coordinate two kids-it is like you have only one hand for each child. And it was just easier when my focus was only on one child.

DiveFrog · March 2013

First and foremost in my mind is that I would probably kill my current career if I have a baby before 7/1/14...so regardless of my mixed feelings that is kinda the bottom line since I both need my job and like it.

Otherwise I am a mix of emotions and logic on this issue. I loved being pregnant and it was pretty easy aside from SPD that I had from 14weeks on. I don't even feel particularly traumatized by DD's birth which was a 48hr failed induction due to severe pre-e at 36 weeks, and horrible c-section in which the anethesia didn't completely work. In fact, I think a lot of why I would love to have another baby right now is to have the opportunity to have a regular, uncomplicated delivery experience...I feel a little cheated out of that the first go round.

Still I hesitate because although I loved this past year DD has been very high maintenance baby. She has just sucked all my physical and mental energy for the past 9.5months. In a lot of ways I don't think my body is ready, I know our finances are not ready, and I have two feelings on DD's impending toddlerhood. 1. It is going to be amazing. This next year she is going to be so much fun. 2. This next year is also going to be so much work.

And then more practical concerns to consider. It took us 15 months to get pregnant with DD, we still are not completely decided on 2 kids or 3 kids, and I am turning 35 this year. So, just for timing reasons we should probably get started at the end of this year.

Natali25 · March 2013

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to all your messages. Sickness has been haunting our family. Thanks for all the posts. Reading everyone's different stages in life makes me feel more human.

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