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January 2012 Moms
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Loss of pet :( - need advice

bigbearbigbear
in January 2012 Moms

Hi ladies,

 My dog (and even more so my mom's dog, since he lived with her and I moved to a different state when he was 5) passed away last Tuesday. (He was 12 but died very unexpectedly)  I can't even get into all that yet because it's just too painful.

My mom is really devestated. She's alone and this pup was her everything. With him gone, she's really lost and lonely. She watches DD and does a great job and definiely keeps it together when  DD is around which is very important. I think it helps her so much to focus and have DD to take care of.

Now to the point where I need advice: 

We are having Maxy cremated and we also had his paw prints done.

Here is my question. The paw prints are done and ready for pick up, but he won't be cremated and ready to go home until at least next weekend. I didn't tell my mom that the prints are ready as I"m not sure if the whole grieving process would just be interrupted/prolonged with getting the prints first then his ashes a week later. I don't know what to do. Maxy was our first pet so we've never gone through such loss before and I just don't know how to go about it.

Any tips?

TIA!

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Re: Loss of pet :( - need advice

  • kaybe24kaybe24 member
    My cat of 18 years just passed away and I got the paw prints first. I think that helped me get ready for her remains which came a week later. You know your Mom the best though.
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  • lp0lp0 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog 3 years ago and I still cry when I talk about him. We had him cremated and I felt much better having him back with us once we pick up his ashes.

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  • bigbearbigbear

    imageLP0198:
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog 3 years ago and I still cry when I talk about him. We had him cremated and I felt much better having him back with us once we pick up his ashes. Edit for typo

     

    Thank you and I'm sorry about your pup, too. I see him on your siggy and I choke up every time. It is so hard, and they are definitley members of the family. I just don't know how to get over this. We also had our dog cremated and he's actually ready for pickup today. I'm just in total denial and at times I get basically excited because I think I'm going to pick HIM up, you know...

    But having him back home (or at my mom's) will I think definitely help.

    I'm just also struggling with not only dealing with my own grief and sadness, but I'm grieving and worrying about my mom too and how this is impacting her. So it's a double struggle. She texts me at work all the time talking about Max and I'm having a really hard time keeping it together but the last thing I want to do is tell her not to talk to me as I know she needs it... Ugh, it's just so painful in every way.

     

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  • bigbearbigbear
    imagekaybe24:
    My cat of 18 years just passed away and I got the paw prints first. I think that helped me get ready for her remains which came a week later. You know your Mom the best though.
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  • bigbearbigbear

    imagebigbear:
    imagekaybe24:
    My cat of 18 years just passed away and I got the paw prints first. I think that helped me get ready for her remains which came a week later. You know your Mom the best though.

    I'm so sorry about your cat :( Thanks for your input! Turns out we haven't been able to pick up the print sooner anyway and his ashes are now ready for pickup, too so it's working out the way it should I guess.

     

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  • mexicolombianamexicolombiana member

    I'm so sorry for your loss, (and your mom's).  We just had to put my parent's dog down last Friday.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done and the saddest. 

    Also this dog was really my dad's best friend, but my dad was out of town for the night! Can you imagine?  My brother took the dog (a big rottweiler named Sultan) to the vet because he was throwing up pretty badly and couldn't walk earlier that day.  By the time he got to the vet the dog wasn't able to walk or move.  He called me at 4:30 p.m. crying and telling me we had to put my parent's dog down!

    I then had to go pick up my mom from work (because she had a flat tire) and we had to race to the vet's office to put him down.  My poor father is SO devastated! OP I know what you mean about your mom being so sad.  My dad was bawling his eyes out on the phone.  When he came home the next day I think he cried for a whole day.  My parents are completely lost without their dog.  He was 9 yrs old (not bad for a big rottweiler) and they don't know what to do without him.

    Anyway back to your question, we still haven't picked up the ashes and we also did paw prints for him.  I think we're going to try to do it all together. 





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  • bigbearbigbear
    imagemexicolombiana:

    I'm so sorry for your loss, (and your mom's).  We just had to put my parent's dog down last Friday.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done and the saddest. 

    Also this dog was really my dad's best friend, but my dad was out of town for the night! Can you imagine?  My brother took the dog (a big rottweiler named Sultan) to the vet because he was throwing up pretty badly and couldn't walk earlier that day.  By the time he got to the vet the dog wasn't able to walk or move.  He called me at 4:30 p.m. crying and telling me we had to put my parent's dog down!

    I then had to go pick up my mom from work (because she had a flat tire) and we had to race to the vet's office to put him down.  My poor father is SO devastated! OP I know what you mean about your mom being so sad.  My dad was bawling his eyes out on the phone.  When he came home the next day I think he cried for a whole day.  My parents are completely lost without their dog.  He was 9 yrs old (not bad for a big rottweiler) and they don't know what to do without him.

    Anyway back to your question, we still haven't picked up the ashes and we also did paw prints for him.  I think we're going to try to do it all together. 

    Oh my goodness, how sad :( I am so sorry :(

    That is so difficult to process and deal with. And I know the unexpected piece of the whole thing.

    Very similar stories actually even though I'd have to say we had it easier in a sence that Max actually let go and passed away peacefully. We didn't have to make that decision. And we were all there. So as hard as it was to watch him go, it was, what I believe, his wish and decision to let go right then.

    I feel for your parents and can only imagine what they are going through. Definitely the hardest part of having a pet. But they bring so much joy and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

    Thanks for replying to my post :)

    And I picked up Max's ashes and the paw print last night. It worked out well. My mom was definitely relieved to have him back home even though it was, for both of us, like riliving last week's Tuesday all over again :(

    I think you and your parents will feel better too, once the pup is back home..,

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