Judgement

AshleyAnthony2B · March 2013

Just kind of a side post from FFFC

There were a couple, "I judge people on..." ones. Just wondering if we can be frank and honest and maybe have some interesting conversation here.

What do you judge people on?

What do you judge other mothers on?

I completely agree with the fffc post about judging people on the cleanliness of their home. If I go over, you have invited me, and your house is a disaster, I am boarderline offended.

And I judge when it seems people don't put their child first (ie, out every weekend, leaving baby with babysitters, facebook feed full of drunken bar night pics)

livinginashoe · March 2013

2chatter · March 2013

The ones you mention, for sure.

Another one is parents who don't help their kids with homework. I plan at least an hour of my evening to do this - it's just a fact of life. Some supervision is required for little kids. I am lucky in that my children are enrolled in a school where the parents are all on board (they are paying tuition, I think that helps motivate them). I have several friends who just don't though; one went so far as to say that is the "teacher's job and why I pay taxes." Crazy to me, and I totally judge them for not doing homework and reading with their children.

MrsLindinger0905 · March 2013

AshleyAnthony2B:
Just kind of a side post from FFFC
There were a couple, "I judge people on..." ones. Just wondering if we can be frank and honest and maybe have some interesting conversation here.
What do you judge people on?
What do you judge other mothers on?
nbsp;
I completely agree with the fffc post about judging people on the cleanliness of their home. If I go over, you have invited me, and your house is a disaster, I am boarderline offended.
And I judge when it seems people don't put their child first ie, out every weekend, leaving baby with babysitters, facebook feed full of drunken bar night pics

These exactly!

SY Smiles · March 2013

When I see parents post pics of their babies in car seats and they are in there totally wrong, I judge them. It is such a simple thing to read up on and it doesn't take long to educate yourself. Why on earth wouldn't you just do it?

livinginashoe · March 2013

Oh this is serious? In that case I judge moms who judge other moms. It makes you seem petty and insecure.

*** that means I'm petty and insecure.

Oh wait I don't care.

Mar5195 · March 2013

I judge SAHM that are on Facebook all day long and put up 10-15 updates a day. Where are your children??? In front of the TV??

Most parenting I try my hardest not to judge because all our kids are different and there is no one solution for everyone.

I judge the hell out of people who put the most unflattering pictures of themselves. The self photos in the dirty bathroom. I always want to comment "Hey put the phone down/walk away from the computer and how about clean that dirty a$$ mirror instead". I have a critical nature. So this comes easy to me.

AshleyAnthony2B · March 2013

SY Smiles:
When I see parents post pics of their babies in car seats and they are in there totally wrong, I judge them. It is such a simple thing to read up on and it doesn't take long to educate yourself. Why on earth wouldn't you just do it?

OMG YES!

AshleyAnthony2B · March 2013

livinginashoe:

Oh this is serious? In that case I judge moms who judge other moms. It makes you seem petty and insecure.

*** that means I'm petty and insecure.

Oh wait I don't care.

We'll have to agree to disagree there. I think it's human nature. We all notice things and have feelings on them, why not be honest about it?

pinkshades05 · March 2013

This is an opposite one, but I hate being judged by people who don't have kids OR who don't have kids as old as mine. It's so easy in the beginning to say, "I will NEVER do that!" But until you are there, you have no idea what you'll "never" do. And neither did I!

laclyn · March 2013

I judge people on character alone really. Liars, I judge all day everyday on every aspect of their lives. Once I find out you are a liar, game over.

I judge mothers who have dirty babies. You know, the ones who take their child out in public with crap all over their face. I am a daycare director/teacher and I swear I have to bathe one of my kiddos who is 9 months old everyday when she gets dropped off because she is just covered in filth.

shortsweet&sassy · March 2013

I totally judge mothers with dirty babies. Especially when snot is running down their face and getting crusty.
I'm totally guilty of the messy house. I've never been a neat freak and, heaven help me, I try REALLY hard to keep things clean but some days the dishes and the laundry pile up ab its a struggle to just keep us all fed and happy. If I know someone's coming over or I invite someone over it will be clean, but if you decide to just pop in don't expect my house to be spotless.

Sept07b2b · March 2013

I judge women who say they have to ask their DH if they can buy something or have some money or say that their DH "let" them buy something. Whether I was a SAHM or a WM, I would never have to ask my DH for anything, and it would absolutely drive me crazy if I did. I believe financial decisions, in general, should be made with both people's input in the relationship regardless of who makes the money, so to say that you have to ask to buy something sounds like your DH calls all the shots financially, and it just wreaks of 1950s social politics.

livinginashoe · March 2013

Where is nateslady? I want to see her list of people she judges.

sarahandtim · March 2013

I think there's a big difference between messy and dirty houses. Dirty is a big problem with me. If I'm scared to sit down in your house, that's not ok.

danac2010 · March 2013

Sept07b2b:
I judge women who say they have to ask their DH if they can buy something or have some money or say that their DH "let" them buy something. Whether I was a SAHM or a WM, I would never have to ask my DH for anything, and it would absolutely drive me crazy if I did. I believe financial decisions, in general, should be made with both people's input in the relationship regardless of who makes the money, so to say that you have to ask to buy something sounds like your DH calls all the shots financially, and it just wreaks of 1950s social politics.

And this is one reason DH and I are in counseling. I have to explain every time I use my debit card but he doesn't. It drives me nuts! I have to hide money from him so if I want to buy something I don't get questions.

I also judge moms with dirty kids. I use to work in daycare and would always make sure the kids looked clean and put together for pick up. It's not that hard to take a wipe to their face. I understand the shirt being a little dirty after daycare but DD has extra clothes at daycare for this specific reason.

(mainly I judge SD's mom for this next one)

I judge mom's who can't put their kids in clothes that fit. SD came home the other day in pants that were size 6 (boys), a shirt that was 10-12 and shoes that were a size 2. SD is in a 7 pants and shirts and barely in a size 1 shoe. She looked all kinds of sad. I feel so bad for her because kids are starting to make fun of her at school. I have to bring extra clothes if we are going somewhere after we pick her up because DH, DD and myself are all put together and SD just looks rough. I make sure she always has clothes that fit and that she wants to wear. She always complains when she has to put her mom's clothes back on to go over to her house. We have shopping days where we go buy clothes once she outgrows a size. Tomorrow we will be going to get some new summer clothes because her old shorts are too short and there is a huge sale tomorrow so she can get more!

pinkshades05 · March 2013

Sept07b2b:
I judge women who say they have to ask their DH if they can buy something or have some money or say that their DH "let" them buy something. Whether I was a SAHM or a WM, I would never have to ask my DH for anything, and it would absolutely drive me crazy if I did. I believe financial decisions, in general, should be made with both people's input in the relationship regardless of who makes the money, so to say that you have to ask to buy something sounds like your DH calls all the shots financially, and it just wreaks of 1950s social politics.

I think I understand what you're saying, but I sometimes say that my DH "let" me buy something when I want something expensive and he's ok with it. We make all of our big purchases together in that we talk about what we want and how we're going to pay for it and make sure that we are both ok with the purchase. It's not that I ask his permission, but when I desperately want sometimes and he has to agree to it, then I will say he "let" me.

I also judge attention-seekers. When you talk about your children multiple times a day or you constantly post lovey-dovey things about your spouse, I think it's overboard and you need a new hobby. The rest of the world doesn't care how awesome your husband us; only you should care!

AshleyAnthony2B · March 2013

danac2010:

Sept07b2b:
I judge women who say they have to ask their DH if they can buy something or have some money or say that their DH "let" them buy something. Whether I was a SAHM or a WM, I would never have to ask my DH for anything, and it would absolutely drive me crazy if I did. I believe financial decisions, in general, should be made with both people's input in the relationship regardless of who makes the money, so to say that you have to ask to buy something sounds like your DH calls all the shots financially, and it just wreaks of 1950s social politics.

And this is one reason DH and I are in counseling. I have to explain every time I use my debit card but he doesn't. It drives me nuts! I have to hide money from him so if I want to buy something I don't get questions.

I also judge moms with dirty kids. I use to work in daycare and would always make sure the kids looked clean and put together for pick up. It's not that hard to take a wipe to their face. I understand the shirt being a little dirty after daycare but DD has extra clothes at daycare for this specific reason.

(mainly I judge SD's mom for this next one)

I judge mom's who can't put their kids in clothes that fit. SD came home the other day in pants that were size 6 (boys), a shirt that was 10-12 and shoes that were a size 2. SD is in a 7 pants and shirts and barely in a size 1 shoe. She looked all kinds of sad. I feel so bad for her because kids are starting to make fun of her at school. I have to bring extra clothes if we are going somewhere after we pick her up because DH, DD and myself are all put together and SD just looks rough. I make sure she always has clothes that fit and that she wants to wear. She always complains when she has to put her mom's clothes back on to go over to her house. We have shopping days where we go buy clothes once she outgrows a size. Tomorrow we will be going to get some new summer clothes because her old shorts are too short and there is a huge sale tomorrow so she can get more!

awww that makes me so sad that she is being picked on and is uncomfortable. poor girl

danac2010 · March 2013

It's very sad. We have tried to send clothes over there but she won't let her wear them. She says she has clothes for her. SD came home with bleach stains on her jeans one day and asked if it was paint. DH told her no that it looked like bleach. He asked her why she thought it was paint. She said a little boy in class asked if her she ever washed her clothes because they were always stained.

liberty95 · March 2013

ETA: opps, meant to quote the car seat post.

Yes!!!!!!

Lena122 · March 2013

I judge people who start FFFCs with "I judge..." FFFCs are supposed to be a confession about something you've done, not a way for you to passive aggressively flame others.

suitern · March 2013

Lena122:
I judge people who start FFFCs with "I judge..." FFFCs are supposed to be a confession about something you've done, not a way for you to passive aggressively flame others.

Isn't judging someone, something that the person has done that they can confess???

Would it have been better if I put-I feel slightly guilty that I judge people with a dirty house? I do feel guilty, but again, I still judge them...it is all about wording.

Lena122 · March 2013

suitern:
Lena122:
I judge people who start FFFCs with "I judge..." FFFCs are supposed to be a confession about something you've done, not a way for you to passive aggressively flame others.
Isn't judging someone, something that the person has done that they can confess??? 
Would it have been better if I put-I feel slightly guilty that I judge people with a dirty house?  I do feel guilty, but again, I still judge them...it is all about wording. 

Technically I guess it is because judging is doing something. But it really negates the point of FFFCS to flame someone in your confession and then expect to not get flamed back.

NatesLady1309 · March 2013

livinginashoe:
Where is nateslady? I want to see her list of people she judges.

Nateslady decided to stay the heck out of this one so she doesn't get her panties flamed off.

Sept07b2b · March 2013

NatesLady1309:
livinginashoe:
Where is nateslady? I want to see her list of people she judges.
Nateslady decided to stay the heck out of this one so she doesn't get her panties flamed off.

Ah! See! This is why this board has been so boring lately!! We are all too scared to say anything remotely controversial because we've all been yelled at for doing it before! No fun!!

ETA: Nateslady, I get it, btw!

hizah05 · March 2013

I judge bad spelling and grammar. I get typos and autocorrect but if you really don't know the difference between "you're" and "your", you need to go back to school.

I also judge mothers that continually defend their kid's poor behavior by blaming others. I have a "friend" who always blames her son's suspensions and detentions on his school and teachers. Her son talked back to a teacher and was very rude. She proudly bragged on FB how she told him good job because that teacher is a jerk anyway. Way to teach your children to respect others.

suitern · March 2013

Lena122:
suitern:
Lena122:
I judge people who start FFFCs with "I judge..." FFFCs are supposed to be a confession about something you've done, not a way for you to passive aggressively flame others.
Isn't judging someone, something that the person has done that they can confess???
Would it have been better if I put-I feel slightly guilty that I judge people with a dirty house? I do feel guilty, but again, I still judge them...it is all about wording.
Technically I guess it is because judging is doing something. But it really negates the point of FFFCS to flame someone in your confession and then expect to not get flamed back.

Well then I guess I should have put it under unpopular opinion so I could be flamed?? It really wasn't my intention NOT to be flamed, but just more of a confession that I have been thinking about for a while... Indifferent

poobear2015 · March 2013

I judge parents who tell me how to parent when I didn't ask. My friend "taught" me how to change a diaper while I was pregnant. Girl - I've changed diapers since I was 10...and I change em in half the time she does, without getting peed on.

Every kid is different. What works for your kid may not work for mine.

AshleyAnthony2B · March 2013

Ainslie325:
I judge people who misspell judgment. ;Side note: please take this comment in the spirit of good will and irony with which it was intended,

lol sizzle and burn:P i googled because i was shocked it wasnt correct. Judgement is the brit spelling, judgment is american. Im in Canada, so i get a free pass. Nanynanybooboo!

HappyToBe2012 · March 2013

pinkshades05:

I also judge attentionseekers. When you talk about your children multiple times a day or you constantly post loveydovey things about your spouse, I think it's overboard and you need a new hobby. The rest of the world doesn't care how awesome your husband us; only you should care!

Ahhhh...you must have met my SIL. Seriously, every post on FB I about how much she loves her husband, how happy she is they are together, or how amazing he is. Good grief. I get wanting to share how you feel but after a while it seems a little over the top. Whenever BIL goes to leave some where, it's always "I love you, I'll miss you, hurry back, don't talk to stranger." I started telling DH, in front of her, to go make a friend while they're out. She either doesn't get the joke or ignores me for being childish, which I totally am being when I say that. For the record, SIL is actually DH's SIL as she is married to his brother.

Shmogan09 · March 2013

AshleyAnthony2B:

I completely agree with the fffc post about judging people on the cleanliness of their home. If I go over, you have invited me, and your house is a disaster, I am boarderline offended.

And I judge when it seems people don't put their child first (ie, out every weekend, leaving baby with babysitters, facebook feed full of drunken bar night pics)

I judge people who put the cleanliness of their house first. I play with my kids instead of cleaning and I am proud of that fact. And if my friends expected me to clean before coming over they wouldn't be invited. You can step over the hot wheels and ignore the dishes, my kids are playing and I am joining in.

I also don't understand the "dirty face" thing. If my child eats a snack and has a little food on his face why on earth do you care?! It drives me nuts. Snot, yeah that is germs so I get it, but food I just do not understand. I wipe the boys faces 90% of the time after they eat something but if we are at the park and one of them has a little ice cream on his chin I am going to wait until he takes a water break from playing to wipe it off.

I guess all of this makes me a dirty mom! Ohhhh I am SO getting judged!

shortsweet&sassy · March 2013

Shmogan09:
AshleyAnthony2B:

I completely agree with the fffc post about judging people on the cleanliness of their home. If I go over, you have invited me, and your house is a disaster, I am boarderline offended.

And I judge when it seems people don't put their child first (ie, out every weekend, leaving baby with babysitters, facebook feed full of drunken bar night pics)
I judge people who put the cleanliness of their house first.  I play with my kids instead of cleaning and I am proud of that fact.  And if my friends expected me to clean before coming over they wouldn't be invited.  You can step over the hot wheels and ignore the dishes, my kids are playing and I am joining in.
I also don't understand the "dirty face" thing.  If my child eats a snack and has a little food on his face why on earth do you care?!  It drives me nuts.  Snot, yeah that is germs so I get it, but food I just do not understand.  I wipe the boys faces 90% of the time after they eat something but if we are at the park and one of them has a little ice cream on his chin I am going to wait until he takes a water break from playing to wipe it off.  
I guess all of this makes me a dirty mom!  Ohhhh I am SO getting judged! 

Shmogan, I heart you!!!

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