For dads/dads to be: Angry while pregnant, I need space! — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

For dads/dads to be: Angry while pregnant, I need space!

Hey men! I am 22 weeks pregnant and sometimes I feel my hormones starting up and I feel angry. So when my husband says something or does something that normally would make me angry, it makes me incredibly more angry. So I tell him I need 5-10 minutes of space so that it doesn't get worse but he doesn't leave! Even if I tell him "there is a sign over my head saying WARNING" he still won't respect that I need time to cool down. So this escalates the situation where I'm pushing him and I will even hit him (I've never done this before I was pregnant) I feel bad but he would pretty much try to push my buttons by poking my shoulder over and over again trying to and get my attention when I'm trying to cool down and not let my anger and the situation get the better of me. If I try to get away he will follow me, to the point where he will have me straining to push a bathroom door closed while he tries to keep it open. And if I put earphones on with music he will pull them out. My question is do any of you guys hate letting your woman have time to cool down, and need to solve a problem right away? He says he's scared if he does. I don't get why...

Re: For dads/dads to be: Angry while pregnant, I need space!

  • One would think that any husband would jump on the opportunity to be left to his own devices while the wife cools down.  Video games, sports, eating.....anything at that point!

    Seems pretty immature to poke a sleeping bear, so to speak.  He should be trying to make your life easier, not acting like a toddler himself.  You better get this under control quickly, as that will not fly with a real infant in the house.

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  • I would suggest communicating with him about this when you're not angry or upset. Understand there are a lot of women who tell their partners "Go away" and they mean "Comfort me". You may not do this, but if your husband had any girlfriends before you, he may have learned that pattern.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
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  • Definitely need to talk to him about it when you are calm.  Some of his behavior definitely sounds immature, but I don't think you need to bring that up.  Just outline exactly what you need from him.

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  • He has done this before, so I have had many many calm conversations with him about me really truly needing space when I ask for it. He always say "I know, i'm sorry" etc...but he keeps doing it and says he's afraid he will lose me. But I tell him it's just the other room for a few minutes, not in someone else's house for a few days. And I even tell him that NOT giving me space will push me away farther...
  • *Lurking*

    DH and I went through this and actually talked with a counselor a few years back. What was suggested, and worked for us, was calmly saying that you need space, that you are not leaving permanently, and that you will return after X amount of time. Then making sure you check in with the other when that time is up- either to say you are ready to talk or that you need a little more time to calm down still.  Setting it up with parameters and following through helped us both to get our space when we need it and to talk through issues when we are both calm.

    BFP #1 2/20/12 - ectopic methotrexate @6w2d on 3/6/12 BFP#2 7/27/12 EDD 4/10/13- It's a boy! imageimagePhotobucketBabyName Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think more communication is needed... send him to this site.. I lurked forever learning about everything.. that way, when my girl woke me up at 3:30am by punching me (with an excellent albeit vicious combo) because she was 7 months pregnant...  I just lied there and took it and let her get it out of her system. The next day I got her a body pillow, saltines and ginger ale... there was no more punches thrown after that :D
  • skii31 - For the record, I was 3 months, pregnant, not 7 months. And I punched you because I'd been throwing up all day long, then you went out with your friends that night, and crawled into bed and immediately passed out, stinking like beer and cigars, making me throw up even more to the point of being in tears. I threw up so hard, so often, that I had busted blood vessels all around my eyes the next morning. So between the beer and cigar stink, the snoring, the constant puking, the crying, the pain, and the annoyance that you were running around having parties to celebrate while I stayed at home feeling like I was about to die....that's why I punched you.

    I love you, though....and thanks for complimenting my mad karate skills. ;)

  • Ouch!

    Wife....WAS NOT...having that.

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  • @WifeyDove - I dont know what you are talking about... cause I have never... ever... ummm.... I dont even smoke cigars.... that often and uhhhhh....... I cant remmeber all the specifics... did you see that sky today?? talk about blue!!!

    Hi wife!!!! I love you!!!  Hey guys, meet my wifey!! alright so, I was a douchebag most of the first trimester, I tried to be as helpful as possible but most of my douchebaggery came from ignorance. My wifey was the one who introduced me to this site and I have been learning every since.

     big thing here is communication, if you cannot communicate between you and your other, you wont be able to go from douchebag to helpful partner... At least I hope I have become a helpful partner.... lol 

  • imagepolooo26:
    Careful Skii, you're going to start making women think they can change men. Those kinds of thoughts are dangerous.

    +1

    very dangerous.....

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