I need to vent about my family

katigox · February 2013

. . . but after writing up half of it (trying to write it for the last hour and a half, between feedings/bedtime), and it turning into a novel on top of having a probably sick baby that I'm talking to the pedi tomorrow, I erased the draft, and will just say this:

+ Mental illness blows. TBI/dementia/major depression in both parents is horrible. Both parents in moments of paranoia/episodes disowning you repeatedly sucks.

+ having no more than forty five minutes at a time to sleep for the past two weeks unless DH "graciously" gives me two hours has left me completely overwhelmed.

+ having a baby who doesn't seem to have recovered from a head cold and possibly be sick all over again, means I have carpel tunnel as well as pelvic pain, from holding him for hours bc it's the only thing that barely soothes him anymore

+ and finally having a "come to Jesus" talk in the form of a complete ugly cry breakdown last night to DH has brought up some issues of feeling like a single parent and working on caring for everybody else but myself. (I've been making sure he gets 6/8 hours of consecutive sleep since DS was born, but he comes home from his night shift, sleeps for usually seven hours, and then talks about how tired he is, after I've just been up for sixteen hours straight . . . taking care of our son) The bills wouldn't be getting paid if I didn't take care of it, we also have missed church several times (something very important to me), so he can get more sleep. Add to that he shoots me down at every suggestion for either date nights or family outings, bc again he's too tired, has left me a sad blubbering mess, stuck in a dirty house bc I can't put down DS long enough to pee, much less wipe down counters. **DH is getting a sleep apnea test done soon, so hopefully there's some answers there, but he admitted that me taking care of everything so much has made him complacent and he needs to return to being a husband, not another kid for me to take care of <--his words.

+ and March '13 would have been my Angelbaby's first birthday, which has left reflective and sad

And this turned out to be a novel anyways . . . which means there is so much to this, if this is the condensed version, but I got a sick baby I need to take care of so I have to go. If I don't get any replies, I'd understand it's pretty sad stuff, but just getting to vent is helpful.

If you guys could send me T&P for this weekend I'd appreciate it: DS has a dr.'s app. tomorrow, and then on Sunday I'm moving my father from his assisted living into another one, bc my Mom "can't handle it" . . . yup, this coming from the people who often claim I'm not theirs. I'll probably have to miss church again and have no idea if DH will be any help, bc I'm sure he'll probably just be too tired again.

I don't often let my life events affect my spirit, but after months and months and months of this and add sleep deprivation, I can't just keep sweet and hope it passes. Something has to change to give me hope.

Thanks for letting me vent, bc I have no idea what I can do next to be honest

EDIT fixed grammar and coding

crystalknpp · February 2013

You poor thing. It sounds to me like you are over due for a break. Can you talk to DH and see if he can take your LO so you can get some rest? If not then is there a friend or family member that may be willing to help out? You can only run on fumes for so long before getting burnt out. I hope you get some answers from the doctor tomorrow and some relief soon!

carrotsoup70 · February 2013

I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds like you are just the kind of person who tries to handle everything themselves. I know it can be hard to ask for help but please reach out to anyone that might be able to give you a hand. Maybe a sibling/aunt/uncle/cousin can help with your dad? As for your DH, I wouldn't give him the option to sleep in. My DH works 6 days a week but LO is his responsibility overnight and all day on his day off. When LO wakes up multiple times before we have gone to bed we take turns going to soothe him. This started with me saying "your turn". YOU don't have to do everything even if it takes some not so subtle hints for your DH. I'm sure he will step up to his responsibilities once he realizes they are HIS responsibilities.

Please feel free to vent to PAL any time you need to. This board is full of great people who are always willing to help!

Hugs to you. I hope that things get better for you soon.

orangegoggles · March 2013

hugs I'm so sorry your having such a hard time right now. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same way.

Mental illness is one of the most difficult things family goes through. Are you an only child or do u have siblings to help?

It is time for your DH to step up here but if u saw my post a few down, I completely understand. With all that you have going on you need him more than ever. Not sure if you live by family or have friends that could help you but I would reach out to them.
I wish I had better advice but I do have lots of hugs. You sound like a strong woman and are doing a great job but it's time for you to keep some rest, help, and support with LO and your parents.
TPs that your LO gets better soon.

JulyMomma2U2 · March 2013

Huge hugs... I'm so sorry.. managing/handling anything is 100 times more challenging when you're sleep deprived.. I think you're being WAY too nice to DH on the allowing him 7 hours of consecutive sleep while you're getting nothing near that.. I get the whole "if one parent works and the other doesn't, the one that works should get the better sleep".. but, there's gotta be some flexibility in that.. assuming you're a SAHM, SAHM is no easy task!! I've not *done* it, but I took the 12 weeks off from work, and then used 5 vacation weeks.. it was not at all what I thought it'd be.. ! Even when I was home with DS, and DH was working.. we still had a "schedule".. I would go to bed really early.. like 7p and DH would handle the baby until somewhere between 11-midnight.. then, we'd switch.. I'd get "second shift" (which turned into morning and then day all too quickly!!), but at least I had a solid few hours of sleep.. it did wonders for my mood and my ability to handle DS's extreme colic..

I feel for you.. and, I'm sorry you're having so many issues with your family, too, so it's not like you could even reach out to them for help.. vent away, especially if it helps!! I know I used to vent a lot, and would feel so much better after just writing it out..!

Want a personalized experience?

I need to vent about my family

Re: I need to vent about my family

Choose Another Board

Search Boards