Blended Families

Intro- newbie

I'm so excited to have found this forum. I've been lurking a bit and it's great to see that so many others are dealing with similar issues to me (great that i'm not alone, not that we have to deal with it). All of my friends are just getting married and starting their own families so no one close to me is dealing with a similar situation so it's hard to find someone who understands. 

I'm 26 yrs old, married my wonderful DH who has two amazing kids, SS (L) who's 6, and SD (O) who's 4. I love our little family, and can't wait to add to it, hopefully TTC this summer. When it's the 4 of us it's great, until BM does something, and there is ALWAYS something to ruin things. Our nickname for her is Psycho, and she fits it to a T. No we don't refer to her as that in front of the kids. We do our best not to discuss her at all if possible.

Some background: DH waited until we had been dating 9 months before introducing me to the kids, which I completely understood and was fine with. BM knew of me, and when DH told her the kids would be meeting me she flipped out, tried to change the visiting plan that weekend, DH refused and she called the cops on him. She told him the kids would need therapy and he was hurting the children. Next month she took him back to court : For not picking the kids up on all of his weekends, she would call him and say the kids are sick and should stay home, he would agree, then she takes him back to court for not picking them up, now it's in the agreement that if they are sick DH still takes them, even though she still tries to keep them home, if one is sick she tries to keep both home saying they are a packaged deal, court told her otherwise. She complained that 1 pair of underwear was never returned, and that kids are returned dirty and exhausted ( according to her they are always exhausted). They would come home dirty as we would take them out the park to play, they love being outside and being little kids they get dirty, so now they wear our clothes till right before drop off. 

BM rushes them to the ER weekly. She took SD there for a bruise, and said she got it with her father, and didn't know how, even though DH told her she fell, and CPS was called. It was dropped. Then when she realized I wasn't going anywhere, she called CPS and told them I was sexually assaulting SD. BM had SD taken to the hospital for a full exam and evaluation, cops and CPS were involved. Mind you she's 4 years old. The cops and CPS quickly realized this was made up on her part, and I was even warned by the cop that she was out to get me and watch her back. That the entire time he was talking to her she was completely focused on me and not the least bit concerned of what she claimed happened to SD. She has yet to even discuss this with DH, she went to CPS first and never said a word about it to him. If you thought someone was hurting your child wouldn't you go the other parent right away? 

After this incident she filed another court motion to have DH's visitation moved to supervised visits in a clinical setting. Family relations asked why, she said because she wants to do what's best for her children. They said so taking the kids away from DH and his family it what you think is best, she said yes. So they do a full investigation, even though they told her it was a waste of time and money, had a guardian ad litem hired, both sides requested changes, the result, we got everything we asked for, her nothing. As she lies and changes things so often, they are required to communicate only through the website, myfamilywizzard, it's a total lifesaver. There is still weekly fights, we plan on going back to court soon as we need to have the CO adjusted again, and fix issues so we can avoid fights with her. 

She has never asked to meet me, and yet she hates me. She goes out of her way to down talk me to the kids. Tells them that step-mommies aren't good, they will never love you or protect you they way real mommies do. She has SD convinced that I'm hurting her by putting hairspray in her hair, yet she uses a flat iron on it. She makes the kids feel guilty everytime they do something fun with us, to the point that they don't tell her things anymore. She grills them with questions the second they walk in the door. She lives in an apartment right down the hall from her mother, and the kids never see any of her family. They keep them completely sheltered. She had a fit when the kids referred to my parents as their grandma and pop-pop, she actually posted that the only family the kids have are her, her mother, DH and his parents, even though when they were married DH's parents had to make appointments to see the kids and could never hold them. 

Sorry that was so long, that doesn't even cover half of it, but it feels good to vent to people that understand what I'm going through. I hope this forum is a very needed escape for me.  

Re: Intro- newbie

  • Do we deal with the same BM? Seriously! 

    DH has been taken to court and had CPS called more in the past 5 years than anyone I know. BM has also asked for supervised visits but of course nothing she said was true so she hasn't ever got what she has asked for. The past 8 months have been calm but that is because we have had pretty much no contact with BM. I think she has FINALLY realized she isn't going to take SS away from his dad. 


    utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant">Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I thought my story was bad. Kudos to you for hanging in. Can you report her for making false allegations? I know on the CPS report line in my county it says making false allegations is a misdemeanor offense I've called so many times I've memorized their hold music.

    Just a thought!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • We tried to get her in trouble. Both CPS and the cops told us nothing they can do. They are obligated to investigate. CPS said its hard to prove it was made up even though they admitted they knew it was and they need to see a pattern of false claims to pursue it, guess 2 isnt enough.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"