Transgendered 6 yr old? — The Bump
February 2012 Moms

Transgendered 6 yr old?

I saw this article on my FB feed and thought I would share.  This little boy has been living a transgender lifestyle since age 4.  What do you think of his parent's decision to allow him to do so?  What would you do if he were your child?

http://sandrarose.com/2013/02/parents-of-transgender-6-year-old-files-lawsuit-against-school-that-banned-her-from-using-the-girls-restroom/

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Re: Transgendered 6 yr old?

  • I babysat for a little boy from infancy into toddlerhood.  He wanted to be a girl.  I don't know how else to explain that.  His parents did not indulge this.  He is now an adult, who has been out of the closet since early high school.  He is secure in being male.  I think some things, no matter how you parent, will happen.  I do not support "locking in" these choices for children, as there are some pretty large social consequences.  In the same way I don't punish for bedwetting, I would not punish for a childish acting out a different gender role.  That does not mean I would buy my son dresses or let my 5  year old go to bed without a pull up. 

    I think parenting is doing the hard things - and sometimes those  hard things are setting limits until a child is old enough to be physically and emotionally mature to handle the consequences of their choices.  DD would be thrilled if she never wore a pullup again, but her body doesn't concetrate urine properly.  It's a physical reality, and I tend to go with those.

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  • I think at age 4 it isn't out of the ordinary for a child to want to be or pretend to be the opposite gender.  The issue is that the parents went along with it.  I think the child is more a product of the parents right now than actually wanting to be a girl.

    This is just really out there for me...also, why would the parents want to drag their LO through the media like this?  The child is six years old!  Kids need to be directed, molded, etc...if you tell a boy he is a girl for two years, he will believe it.  Maybe if they had just let the phase run out it would not be an issue.  Maybe it wasn't a phase.  Either way, shame on them for putting the child in the media spotlight like that.

    Lilypie - (JrNi)

    Lilypie - (y35Q)

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  • I think it's ashame they would expose their child this way.  I understand the need for acceptance, etc.  But their job is to protect him and coming out in this manner isn't doing that.  Wait till he's older and can handle the pressure that comes with this kind of decision.   Although maybe they need support and this is sort of a cry for help.  I don't know.  Can't judge but it would break my heart if my son came to me and felt like a stranger in his own body.   That's not something you can fix with a pill or a bandaid. 

    I do know of boys who dressed as girls or as feminine as they could get away with in school.  They were just gay.  I think some people have this innate sense that they are in the wrong body.   I think it's great that these parents are allowing him to be who he chooses.   It's not like he's had gender surgery or something dramatic he can always go back if a he when grows older.

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  • I agree with you ladies.  I think it is one thing for a kid to want to be like the opposite sex and I understand allowing them to within limits.  Letting them decorate their room in Disney Princesses, wearing their hair long, playing with baby dolls, etc.  But I don't think a 4 year old child is mature enough to make this type of decision that will haunt him for a lifetime.  What do they plan on doing when he wants to be a boy again when he's 10?  He cannot fully understand the consequences of his decision, therefore, he shouldn't be allowed to make it.  If this were a 16 year old, my view would be completely different.  Right now I just think he is the result of bad parenting.
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  • These are the most rediculous parents I've ever heard of. I feel very badly for this child. Regardless of what gender he/she may identify with one day, all they have done is exploited their child (media really?) and allow their child to make a decision beyond the scope of their mental capacity. Poor parenting times a million. Would I let my son wear pink and dress up in my clothes sure. Would I allow him to be a girl permanently at that age and let him think he was infact a girl, no. I would not let him think he was a girl at 4 years old. My daycare boys fight over the pink and purple cup and love barbies. One even straightened his hair one day (at home). They play dress up and put on the dresses. They are experimenting... not telling me that they are gay/transgendered. But seriously... a 4 year old understanding gender enough to decide they're not the gender they were assigned at birth is unfounded. If in this situation I might just aim to be gender 'neutral'... as much as possible. I just cannot say how sorry I feel for this girl/boy.  
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BFP # 1 - June 2nd, 2011 - EDD Feb 5, 2012 Birthday Feb 10, 2012 BFP # 2 - Jan 19, 2012 - EDD Sept 24, 2013 - CP Jan 24, 2012
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