Fussing vs. Crying

dulcemariamar1 · February 2013

I have a FTM question.

Do you get up at night when you hear the baby cry or when the baby is fussing but not crying?

For example, after a MOTN feeding I put LO down and after a few minutes she begins to fuss/grunt/clears throat. I put her down when she is in a deep sleep because I hold her upright because of reflux issues. So she fusses for a bit and then she is quiet, then fusses, and is followed up by her being quiet. This process can last about 20 mins. until she is more or less quiet and back into a deep sleep. Her eyes are closed during the whole time. Would you get up during the process or is this the beginning of LO learning to self-soothe.

Another example, would be this morning she started to cry a little bit (about 30 seconds) and then became silent. She did this for about 5-10 mins. until I pushed her crib (its on wheels) into the living room where she fell back into a deep sleep. This cry/silence is a new pattern that she has been doing the last few nights. If I rock her or move her crib just a little bit she falls back into a deep sleep in about 5 minutes.

So before she would wait up crying and wouldnt stop crying so I just knew that it was time to get up. Would you get up in the following examples? Should I try to get to her before she starts to really cry or is this the start of her learning to self-soothe.

TIA

smwiggle · February 2013

DS2 is a fusser/grunter. I don't pick him up until he actually starts to cry.

lolabeans1 · February 2013

If she is able to get herself back to sleep with grunting or whatever, I would let her do that. Seems like a good start to self soothing.

themrsbird · February 2013

DS does the same thing, I let him fuss...except when I can hear him ramping up but that's because he is very difficult to calm once he really gets going.

lightheaded1der · February 2013

I only get up if she's fussing with her eyes open. Eyes-closed generally ends with her falling/ staying asleep.

DMG122183 · February 2013

My LO does the same thing at night only. Not during daytime naps. I just started letting him just do his thing and not picking him up until he gets into a crying phase. It lasts 15 to 20 mins and then he is out like a light. At first I felt like a bad mom for doing this, but then I realized he is pretty much asleep the whole time anyway and learning to self soothe is an important part of his development.

ungraceful13 · February 2013

smwiggle:
DS2 is a fusser/grunter. I don't pick him up until he actually starts to cry.

Agreed. Sometimes she will cry in the motn or when sleeping and she is actually fine as well. I give in about 30 secs to see if it is a wake up or a nightmare.

jastl32 · February 2013

Thanks for posting this and the responses. DH feels like we should let him grunt and make noise since he isn't crying and I've felt like I need to rock him to sleep. This is helpful to see what other moms are doing. Last night I just him fuss (no cries) and he eventually fell asleep. Wen he did start crying I went and got him.

sbevmc09 · February 2013

There's definitely a difference between fussing and crying and you know your baby best so I think you'll know when it's appropriate to respond. Based on what you've said I don't think I would bother baby. Sounds like they're making the noises in their sleep/without really being aware.

Chappy_jr · February 2013

DS does this too but thanks to our video monitor I have learned that these fussy grunts are either dreams or him pooping in his sleep (he always fusses a little before a poop). It took a week for DH to learn to ignore it and sleep through. I only go in if he is fussing and his eyes have been open for a while or if he is crying, of course.

Fussing vs. Crying

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