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Natural Birth
2junebabies
member
natural birth mindset
2junebabies
member
Hi ladies. I have a question about the mentality that comes with giving birth naturally. It seems like whenever I tell people that my plan is to go natural, they seem to agree that it's a nice plan but then remind me that I might not be able to handle the pain and that if I can't, it's okay. My plan has pretty much been to act like epidurals and narcotics don't even exist, since women gave birth without them for thousands of years. But I am also giving birth in a hospital and I am afraid that if it gets too intense all my will power will be shot. I am reading up on natural birth, my husband is completely on board and supportive, and I'm also hoping to have my mom in the room as another coach (she had 2 natural births), but does anyone have tips on how to ignore the urge for meds when push comes to shove? I know I've seen natural birth stories where the mother yelled for meds but didn't actually get them, so I know it can be done, so how did you handle it during your labor and delivery? Thanks!
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Re: natural birth mindset
1) Don't tell people. What people say to you isn't about you. It's about them. If they couldn't do it, or didn't want to, they can not support your desire to do it. It's human nature.
2) Labour at home. You'll find a common refrain among successful hospital natural births is "I arrived 10 cm dilated" or pretty close to that. Don't go to the hospital until you REALLY want to be there, and there is far less temptation and far more freedom to labour as you please. I never asked for meds. I do recall saying "I don't want to do this any more" after pushing for about an hour... but my options were pretty limited at that point, so I kept pushing.
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I had double peak contractions. I zoned out to the point that DH thought I was sleeping through transition. I kept picturing a scene in my head (for some reason sheep on a hillside in New Zealand) and every time the pain got really bad, my vision would be like a TV screen going completely bright red and I would have to reimagine the sheep image.
It helps to know why you are having the pain, don't let fear feed the pain since you know what it is doing. When you have a tummy pain for some other reason, it can be more painful just from not knowing where the pain is coming from, kwim?
I asked for the epi 3 times (I had a pain-med free hospital birth). I had warned DH ahead of time that if he told me to wait 20 minutes and they would get it, that I would probably be able to fight through those 20 minutes and realize each time that I survived it. This method worked beautifully for us. Understand your personality and your triggers and that will help.
My birth instructor had told us that each time we threw up from pain or shook from the pain, that we were hitting some sort of transition point - losing the plug, dialiating substatially, or water breaking. So even though you feel the worst at those moments, there's a reason for it.
Also, the most important thing I reminded myself was that I can do anything for a day. It's just one day - you can handle it.
ETA: The three times I asked for the epi were right after they broke my water (I was running low on endurance and used it to speed up labor, although it's typically a no-no in natural birth - I will say that after your water breaks contractions hurt a whole lot more, but it did appear to speed up labor), when I was at 9cm (obviously it's a little late then) and when pushing (obviously it's a little late then too). So just like the textbooks say - many will ask for an epi in transition.
FTM, but my approach is similar to pp. If I ask for drugs, both MH and my doula know to wait 20 minutes. If I ask like that three times, I am serious. I like this approach because it's one I used on long training runs working toward my first half marathon. I'd tell myself one more mile and if I didn't feel like giving up after that, I'd do one more. And guess what? I never gave up and finished every training run without walking.
I agree that knowing WHY you hurt makes the pain easier to handle. It's productive and not because something is wrong, like pain most of us are used to.
Read up and have your husband/coach read up, too.
I agree with pp labor at home as long as possible.
In terms of tips for ignoring the urge for medication, I think that just depends on the person. For some people they want their coaches to delay them or talk them out of medication, that's what works for them. I was exactly the opposite, when I was pregnant with my first I warned DH, "If I ask for an epi, don't try to talk me out of it!" and I meant it. It helped me to stay in control, like if I start begging for drugs and I know DH will request them, then I'm far less likely to let my mind go there in the first place. I remember when I was in labor with my first thinking, "I can understand why women get epis", but I immediately pushed that thought out of my head, for me they just didn't exist. It helped too that it was stated in my birth plan that no one was to ask me about pain-meds.
I also second staying at home for as long as possible.
"My plan has pretty much been to act like epidurals and narcotics don't even exist..."
That is a good mindset to have.
Like others have said...stay home as long as possible. When I was at home still, things were getting tough and I told my DH that I might think about getting an epidural if we got to the hospital and I wasn't very far along. I didn't know it...but I was already in transition. My DH was a great support person...saying that that I was a strong woman and that I could do it. That helped a lot. We stayed home until I felt my body begin to push.
When I got to the hospital, I said the same thing in triage..."if I'm not very far, I'm getting the epi". But I was complete and my son was born less than 30 minutes later.
You can do it. It gets hard, but it is temporary. And..while not everyone has the same experience, pushing DID give me major relief from the pain of the contractions. Once I got to that point, it was smooth sailing.
This. I labored at home for as long as possible. When I arrived at the hospital I was in transition so there was not a lot of waiting time for me to consider meds. I also had my H tell the nurses to refrain from offering me pain meds. They never did, which is probably because it was to late at that point.
The other thing I did was mentally prepare myself for contractions by telling myself they would be hard, painful, and intense. By expecting the pain I was prepared to handle them and cope with the discomfort. L&D will hurt but it is a pain women can bear and it is only temporary.
Just to throw out another opinion, I did not and do not ever want to labour at home past 5 cm. For me, the only thing worse than transition labour would be being transported to the hosital while in transition labour. Unlike many, I actually found I was more relaxed at the hospital (in the tub for transition) as it allievated my fear of something being/going wrong.
My hospital was great at not offering pain meds and being very supportive. I did get to a point where I contemplated an epidural (thinking "I can't do this any longer") but reminded myself of what I learned in my birth course, "when you get to that point, you've already done it, you are there", sure enough I was 9.5 cm dilated and nearly ready to push (which wasn't as bad).
So, at the end of the day do what feels right for you in terms of where you labour.
This is particularly great advice, thank you.
Thanks to all you ladies, much appreciated! Congratulations on sticking to your guns and doing things the natural way.