have you lost your identity?

iluvmylab · February 2013

I read a post on another board and it got me thinking....Have you lost your pre-baby identity? Are you sad about it? Indifferent? Happy about the change?

While I admit that my life, routine, schedule has changed MUCH more than DH's, I like me as a mom. We have given up some things as a couple, but I realize this is temporary. We can't just up and leave and go on a 4 day vacation like we used to, but we plan months in advance now and still make the time. I don't have the time/energy to work out and go to the gym as much as I used to and it was a huge part of my life. But I try to find at least 20 minutes a few times a week to do some sort of activity.

What about you? How are you different as a mom and are you sad about "losing" your former self?

Post here:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72200502.aspx

Ricola · February 2013

I am a very different person now than I was before.

Before I became a mum, I was a happy wife, bored employee that didn't like her job too much, content person that had a few hobbies. Now I am a happy wife, happy mother and happy person that has just gardening as her hobby.

No sad at all about losing my former self.

secretsout · February 2013

I don't feel like I've lost my identity, but I never really felt like I had a very strong one to begin with. I mean, I've always, for the most part, been happy with who I am as a person. I've always been generally happy in tempermant, etc. But I've never had anything that really defined me in terms of a hobby, behavior, job, etc., that having a baby would interfere with.

Of course I've had to give up things because there is no time to even breathe these days between working full time and taking care of things at the house. But I don't feel like I have lost any bit of who I am, or who my husband and I are as a couple.

Courtimilk · February 2013

I am completely okay with losing (sacrificing) certain parts of my lifestyle. Main examples were drinking, partying, smoking cigarettes, stuff that I can chalk off to being young and stupid.

The parts that still chap my derriere are mostly finance related. I was not prepared for needing to live pay day to pay day. I was not prepared to see my family much less (3x a year VS 12x a year). I was not prepared for my ILs to all of a sudden feel the need to be a part of our lives when they found out we were expecting LO1. And, I was not prepared to spend the thousands of dollars I had saved for a house (prior to FI and LOs) every time it was required to move to ''greener pastures''.

So yeah, definitely missing a few things in my life.

designer303 · February 2013

Think I do feel a little lost, or maybe just dazed... sometimes I feel like I just go go go until I drop and then I just fall asleep and do it all over again. I feel like i am missing out on enjoying G and this time in our lives. DH is plunging us into real estate investing and that is taking time away, I work part-time to spend more time with G, but now with this real estate investing I having to do that stuff on my days off and we are also doing construction on our summer house at the beach and dont forget that our church wants to build a school house and oh yes I got asked to design it. Just feel like I have no time, I'm always frazzled and tired. I didnt get a shower this morning because G woke early and wanted to be held- nanny was late and so DH went about showering, etc while I held G until the nanny showed and then threw clothes on and ran out the door. I think I have lost some of myself but its not really being a mom that has caused it... sorry kinda of a tangent. I'm so frustrated this morning...

usession · February 2013

I never really di dmuch before T was born except work. My life revolved around taking care of my employees( I work in HR) . So, I think professionally I am different. I dont work all the time. I can now leave work at work. I enjoy going home and being at home. Before T, I was always wanting to do stuff, now I enjoy just hanging with my daughter. My favorite time everyday, is right before bed. We read a book or watch sesame street.

KScheibe12 · February 2013

I have lost my identity in some ways. I don't really have much time for hobbies. But, I'm ok with it. The part that has been the hardest is not having the time/desire to hang out with my friends. I'd rather spend time with LO.

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