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Infertility
jezebel57
member
venting
jezebel57
member
in Infertility
ugh. i work in a day care, but am an assistant director and don't usually have to be in a classroom taking care of kids. today we are short staffed so i have to go into an infant room for 2 hours this afternoon. after the bfn this week i am finding it really hard to psych myself up to do this. just needed to get it out. trying to think of some tricks to get my mind off my own issues.
let alone i had to sit next to one of my pregnant staff members at a meeting today and hear all about her ultrasounds. just a really rough day today and am finding it increasingly difficult to pull myself up after this whole thing. it really surprises me how hard of a time i am having as i thought i was strong enough to handle this like a sane person.
Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!);
Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.
Clomid + Trigger x2;
IUI + Femara x1,
IUI + Follistim x2;
IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life.
Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: venting
Me: 29 ovulatory disorder
DH: 30 MFI - low everything
IUI #1: 11/5/12 BFN
December IUI cancelled due to cyst
IUI #2: 1/8/13 BFN
IVF in April 2013 transferred one beautiful blast on 4/13
Beta #1 4/22: BFP!! 33 Beta #2 54 Beta #3 70 Beta #4 83 Beta #5 105. Possible ectopic, MTX and M/C 5w4d
FET 6/21 - Beta #1: 79 BFP!! Beta #2: 253 U/S 7/12: saw the sac! U/S #2 7/19 great heartbeat of 127!! U/S #3 heartbeat of 154! U/S #4 graduated to OB
EDD 3/9/14
Removed ovarian cysts in Mar 2010 & removed left ovary in May 2010
TTC since Oct 2011
Sep 2012 IUI #1 Natural cycle BFN
Sep 2012 IUI #2 Natural cycle BFN
Oct 2012 IUI #3 Natural cycle BFN
Nov 2012 removed uterine polyp
Feb 2013 IVF #1 ER 2/8: 13R,6M,6F, 3dt of 1 6-cell & 1 7-cell embie, beta hell resulted in blighted ovum.
June 2013 IVF #2 cancelled due to lining too thick
July 2013 IVF #2.1 ER 7/9, 9R,4M,2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies, BFN
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
A/S 7/22/13: IT'S A BOY!!
PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome
[IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2qmon5u.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/laurakat24/turkeybaster-1.jpg"[/IMG]
My TTC Journey:
Dx: Hypothalamic amenorrhea / mild PCOS (Pretty much a hormone/ovulatory disorder)
Progesterone to induce period w/ the goal of Clomid - never got period (September 2011). Referred to RE.
Femera - never responded to the meds (December 2011)
Clomid with TI - BFN (February 2012)
Injectables (Menopur) - hyperstimulated/canceled (March 2012)
Injectables #2 (Menopur) with TI- BFN (May 2012)
IVF - OHSS (transfer canceled), but 11 frozen! (June 1012)
FET - 1 transferred on 8/09/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 350.3; Beta#2: 365; Beta#3: 157. Biochemical pregnancy.
FET # 2 - 1 transferred on 11/01/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 337; Beta#2: 769. BFP!!! 1st ultrasound 11/28/12 showed heartbeat, but measuring 5 days behind. 2nd ultrasound 12/05/12 - miscarriage.
FET # 3 - 1 transferred on 1/24/13. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): BFN.
FET # 4 - 2 transferred on 3/21/13. Bet #1 (11dp5dt): 660; Beta#2: 1,300. Miscarried at home @ 6 weeks.
FET # 5 - 2 transferred on 7/12/13. Beta #1 (10dp6dt): BFN.
Attempted an IUI in late August 2013, but didn't respond well.
IVF #2 with PGS - Stims started 10/28 with retrieval on 11/11. Of 14 mature eggs, 10 fertilized, 4 made it to Day 5 & 1 made it to Day 6. We did PGS on the Day 5 embryos, and 3 of 4 were normal. Had ET on 11/17. Beta #1 (8dp6dt): 203. Beta #2 (10dp6dt): 618. We since had two ultrasounds & on 12/19, our RE released us to the OB. On 1/02/14, we had our first ultrasound with the OB where we heard the heartbeat. We are so thankful for the blessing & crossing every finger & toe for a healthy & successful pregnancy.
I hope tomorrow brightens up.
Jan-March '13 3 IUIs Clomid + Trigger = BFN
He's Here! Arrived 4/15/14!!!!
September 2015 - FET with remaining embryos
Twins! EDD: 6/14/15
PAIF/SAIF Everyone welcome!
Sept '11-April '13 ~ Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!!
March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
I'm not sure where you live but it you live by a Lush store handmade and fresh cosmetics they have the most aaaaaamazing line of bath bombs and bubbles. I sometimes cant wait to go home and run the bath. So luxurious and fragrant. I save those for days that I'm feeling extra stressed.
i live about 45 minutes from one but that is suchhhhh a good idea. now i have my weekend plans! thank you. i'm out of the room now and survived. just seemed to keep busy with 8 crying babies and made me happy at least i don't have octuplets.
**TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013** Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)
DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp
IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN
October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own
May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying
October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone
November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN
IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F
2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.
HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368
U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!! DS born 11/6/13 via c-section
TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs
Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove.
Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm
Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose??
12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast
12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 12/11/15: 236 Beta #2 12/14/15: 503 Please stick little one!!!!
U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16
thank you... i know it takes time, i guess i'm just mostly disappointed that i'm letting it have a hold on me. i'll get over it.