Anyone's DH work nights?

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

It's pretty sad that my 6 month-old is getting more sleep than I am. WAY more sleep!!!

My DH switched over to nights at the start of the new year. It's been almost 2 months and I'm still not adjusting very well. I just can't sleep when he's not home. We have an alarm and it's not that I don't feel safe...I just can't relax. I've been sleeping on the couch (a huge sectional that's actually more comfortable than my bed, so not a problem), I leave the TV on low. I don't know what else to do.

He gets home between 3 and 4 am and those 2 - 3 hours before my alarm goes off are sometimes the only sleep I get. He's off Friday - Sunday nights, so at least I can catch up a little on the weekends. But weekdays are ROUGH.

Just whining. I hate it.

icedcoffeeluv · February 2013

Do you think the TV and sleeping on the couch is distracting you? I know I don't sleep well in front of the TV.

What if you tried going into bed and reading a book. I always fall asleep reading my book if I am tired.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

I tried sleeping in my room at first, and the couch/living room is definitely better. Our bedroom is upstairs and way in the back of the house, so I think part of my anxiety is that I wouldn't be able to hear if anything were going on outside - in the driveway, near the front door, etc.

You may be right about the TV. I should try reading instead.

willy_gert · February 2013

My DH works 24 hr shifts and is gone 7 am to 7 am. I actually find that I sleep better when he isn't home because I get the bed to myself and can spread out. I have to admit though that this took a few years! When we first got married and he was gone overnight I would let our big black lab sleep with me so that I could feel the "pressure" of something. Then, after we had to give our lab away I started building basically a pillow fort. I would have them surrounding me and would sleep that way. Now, I enjoy it. It probably took a year to get to that point. I hope things get better and I am sorry it i so rough for you!

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

Thank you! He worked nights for 4 years when we first got married and I had no problems at all. I'm guessing DD is the difference. That and, like you said, it will still take more time to get used to.

He has long weekends now too, which I love. He gets off work at 4 am on Friday morning and doesn't go back in until 3 pm on Monday. Plus he is home with DD until the afternoon, so she is only in daycare part time. The pros definitely outweigh the cons!

Shazzie116 · February 2013

I have nothing helpful to add DH used to work overnights and I would set the timer on the tv in our bedroom to turn off at 12:30am because I would usually fall asleep by then. Now he works a rotation where he works until 11, so I either stay up until he gets home, or I fall asleep on the couch and then go to bed once he's home.

I would definitely try reading. Calm your brain.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

That's exactly why I thought the TV would help. I do have the sound of DD's white noise coming through the monitor, so it's not like it would be completely silent if I turned off the TV. I can't sleep like that either!!

I totally hear you about being a Ninja Mom! But here's the thing...DD's room is at the very top of the stairs. Mine is one room back. In my paranoid, irrational mind, I think I like being downstairs because if someone managed to get into the house without me hearing them, they would get to her room first. Crazy, right??

And all that after saying that I actually do feel pretty safe in our house. LOL.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

And P.S. - I have 2 dogs and they are totally useless. If someone broke into our house they would either sleep through it or lick them to death. I told DH our next dog will be a Rottweiler (ours are Cavalier King Charles Spaniels). I'm only half kidding.

MeatballEsq · February 2013

RedJay:
My DH works 24 hr shifts and is gone 7 am to 7 am. I actually find that I sleep better when he isn't home because I get the bed to myself and can spread out. I have to admit though that this took a few years! When we first got married and he was gone overnight I would let our big black lab sleep with me so that I could feel the "pressure" of something. Then, after we had to give our lab away I started building basically a pillow fort. I would have them surrounding me and would sleep that way. Now, I enjoy it. It probably took a year to get to that point. I hope things get better and I am sorry it i so rough for you!

Same here, but I've been used to his schedule for years too. Sorry I don't have any advice for you, except that hopefully it gets better with time. Personally I think sleeping on the couch so you can hear something going on outside might be feeding into your fears and making it worse. I would probably try sleeping in bed and getting over that fear.

icedcoffeeluv · February 2013

LoisLane23:
MomtobeNJ:

Thank you! He worked nights for 4 years when we first got married and I had no problems at all. I'm guessing DD is the difference. That and, like you said, it will still take more time to get used to.

He has long weekends now too, which I love. He gets off work at 4 am on Friday morning and doesn't go back in until 3 pm on Monday. Plus he is home with DD until the afternoon, so she is only in daycare part time. The pros definitely outweigh the cons!

Oddly enough,I felt more empowered after having a child because I felt like I had to go ninjamom on someone to protect my kid. Before kids, I'd just hide in the closet.

I love this.

When DH used to travel for work at the first sign of dark I would head to my bedroom with the dogs and lock myself in.

I am a chicken.

ELCJet · February 2013

My DH works a swing shift -- gets home around 11:30pm, but I am long asleep by that point.

Being alone at night is character building! We spent most of our early years together in different states, and most of married life he has been working this later shift......so I am just so used to it. He is moving to days next week to help me out with daycare pickups so I can take a new job with a longer commute -- I don't know how I am going to handle sharing the television and talking on the phone in private once he is around again! (Although I am positively giddy at the prospect of having help putting two kids to bed)

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

ELCJet:
Being alone at night is character building!

Honestly, this is how I have to look at it. Thank you!

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