Help with discipline!

kayteatrudeau · February 2013

DD is 32 months of age and were having serious issues with her listening to me and acting strong willed. I'm firm with her but she still does not take it seriously in some issues. Family is getting frustrated that she's not more mature for her age.

What method do you use for discipline. 123 Magic is not working at all for us. I have read the book about 10 times.

ncbelle · February 2013

Do you do choices? Choices are key for us - ex: instead of "you will brush your teeth now?" ..."Would you like me to brush your teeth or would you like to do it?" "Would you like to put your arms in your carseat buckles or would you like be to do it for you?" At this age they "need" to feel a sense of "control" - choices do that and head off many problems at the pass.

momofmanyinthemitten · February 2013

I love the parenting books on this list. I got them all at our library.

MNgirl326 · February 2013

fredalina:
Honestly we need more details to really help. The ages of 2 to 3 are all about independence for little ones. It is important that we allow them to establish this in positive, safe ways. Try not to let them draw us into power struggles. Let them "win" when it isn't a matter of safety, hygeine, etc. When schedule or details becomes a conflict, it will be easier to work through when you have the basics worked out in a positive way.

this. Also what consequences do you have? are you consistent with them?

What does she have control over? (Like chocies and stuff)

Do you give her time warnings (okay we have to leave in 5 minutes?)

KateLouise · February 2013

I agree with choices being really important.

Plus for us being really consistent on follow through. ie if you tell LO not to/to do something then you need to make that happen. I'm not talking about getting angry or about punishment, but simply, "It's time to brush your teeth. You can do it, or Mummy can do it." and then if LO still resists then you brush her teeth for her.

I'm a lot more consistent than DH is, and as a result LO listen to me more readily. I've told her that if certain behaviours continue then we will leave a place, and I have packed her up and left. I wasn't angry. It wasn't a punishment, just a simple, "these behaviours are not acceptable in this place, so we can't stay here. We can try again another day."

MrsAmandaTollison · February 2013

I believe that as parents we are in control of all situations. You have to make you mind up that it's "my way or the highway" so to speak. Having a "firm" voice is not going to work if you don't follow through with some sort of punishment or acknowledging the problem.

Being on eye level is very important. I tend to take my son (2 yo) by the hands and hold him very still, look in his eyes and explain "mommy doesn't accept this behavior, you have to stop it or you will get a worse punishment (spanking, leaving the scene, taking away things, whatever you need to do/use). Punishments are not mean, they are necessary for establishing boundaries and asserting proper behavior.

Good luck!

kayteatrudeau · February 2013

Thank you for your messages. I do use choices and they seem to work quite well, 123 Magic timeout simply gets no response. Currently she's speaking inappropriately words she learnt from an unfortunate incident of the radio and it's that one that is hardest. The other is that she will not allow me to have conversations with others without getting loud. I try to be as polite as possible to her but firmly explains that "mommy will not accept that behaviour. I suppose it will take time. But of my is these ever testing my nerves.

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