My Situation Sucks But I love my baby

miissysweets · February 2013

Well a small intro. I'm 23 years old and now 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I never really did relationships. So when me and a bf of mine split up. I had a few guy friends that i'd occasionally hook up with. Judge me if you want....If i cared I wouldnt be posting. When i found out I was pregnant i calculated my ovulation week and it happened to be when I stopped messing with one guy and started with another...Well both of them know im pregnant and I am somewhat still friends with both. Guy #1 Was somewhat supportive at first and even took me to get my pregnancy confirmed for insurance purposes. Then after a while he sorta got distant. So i'd only text him with updates about the baby (as i did with guy #2 who never responded) Well out of nowhere i asked guy #1 if he would even be in the baby's life...as he's never around now....and he said...he's not ready....then suggested adoption...I told him I'd never do that when I can take care of my child...father or not. Guy#2 still doest respond like when i told him the sex of the baby ect. but im pretty sure if it's sex related he'd be here in 10 mins or less. Which Im not interested in. Not to be racist or mean anything by this guy 1 is white guy 2 is black. So it wont be hard to know who the father is once the baby is born. Considering I am black. To be honest though....I dont care which is and I dont care if they are around or not....I thank them for the donation of sperm....but i've fallen in love with my son...every kick my heart skips a beat and it assures me he's all i need to be happy. Im a single mommy and I'm PERFECTLY fine with that.

20thirteen · February 2013

No judgments here. We're all in some sucky situation. Welcome to single parents! BD left me because he couldn't handle being a father. Even though his new gf who he started seeing a month before we broke up has a 1yr old, who both live with him. But I broke contact with him after she started texting me. I'm 19w along and expecting a girl, but he doesn't know anything about the baby past the 15w mark.

livleen3 · February 2013

Wow your 24 weeks!! Congrats : )

Im 12 weeks and when I saw the last ultrasound I just fell in love and honestly all the drama I have in my life matters less to me.. The wonderful guy whos apart of this has been ignoring me and its hurts less and less.. Im happy for you! Im happy that you are happy with your current and your making the best of it.. You are strong : )

I guess my only advice would be that make sure you get a paternity test and who ever the father ends up being you never know...they could totally change and fall in love with the baby. We fall in love alot sooner it takes them longer. Your situation could totally change with time.. Im hoping that for myself! I want my baby(possible son) to have an active father and I know that his father would actually be really great as a father. I just need to let go of the anger I have towards him rejecting me etc etc. He has a GF which breaks my heart b/c I really wanted to be with him.. Oh well!!!

Big Hugs to you.. I wish you the best!

RedLipstick69 · February 2013

:::Lurker here:::but I just had to respond.

You NEED to get a DNA test done when the baby is born to determine who the father is. African American babies are born in all different shades/tones/colors. So that is the only way to gurantee paternity.

Other than that, GL to you & have a healthy 16 wks!

lilhockeygurlMOM · February 2013

Not judging you at all. Everyone has their story. And congrats on being such a person person. Your gonna be a great mom.

inthelost · February 2013

No judgment here girl! I would suggest getting a DNA test just to make sure. You do what's right for you and your child and focus on being a good mom! And as single parents, all of our situations probably aren't the "best" but we're getting through it and making it work. All we can do.

KaliChick · February 2013

I'm SO lurking and really have no business responding (other than my sis is a single mom) .... but I don't get it. You say you're not really a relationship person, that you were messing around with a couple different guys and yet your signature said you were TTC for over a year and when you gave it up to God you got 3 positive HPTs a month later. So you were obviously trying to get pregnant, right?? Do either of these guys you were messing around with know that? Sounds to me like you got exactly what you wanted ... a baby without the daddy. Am I not getting something here?

mamaHippo23 · February 2013

KaliChick:
I'm SO lurking and really have no business responding (other than my sis is a single mom) .... but I don't get it. You say you're not really a relationship person, that you were messing around with a couple different guys and yet your signature said you were TTC for over a year and when you gave it up to God you got 3 positive HPTs a month later. So you were obviously trying to get pregnant, right?? Do either of these guys you were messing around with know that? Sounds to me like you got exactly what you wanted ... a baby without the daddy. Am I not getting something here?

Uh there's nothing to get. Maybe she did want a baby and was open to getting pregnant. She never said she was upset about her situation, sounds like she has accepted it and is moving forward. There is an understanding on this board that life is complicated and our situations have a lot of gray areas. No offense, but please don't make her feel bad for her choices. Not your life, not your business.

KaliChick · February 2013

mamaHippo23:
KaliChick:
I'm SO lurking and really have no business responding (other than my sis is a single mom) .... but I don't get it. You say you're not really a relationship person, that you were messing around with a couple different guys and yet your signature said you were TTC for over a year and when you gave it up to God you got 3 positive HPTs a month later. So you were obviously trying to get pregnant, right?? Do either of these guys you were messing around with know that? Sounds to me like you got exactly what you wanted ... a baby without the daddy. Am I not getting something here?
Uh there's nothing to get. Maybe she did want a baby and was open to getting pregnant. She never said she was upset about her situation, sounds like she has accepted it and is moving forward. There is an understanding on this board that life is complicated and our situations have a lot of gray areas. No offense, but please don't make her feel bad for her choices. Not your life, not your business.

not trying to make her feel bad for her choices. She got exactly what she wanted and is happy about it which is great. But TTC and "open to getting pregnant" are completely different things and I was just trying to understand. Then again, I'm a fertility mom so I look at that sort of thing completely differently.

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