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Baby Names
blu-eyedwife
member
"Teen Mom" regret?
blu-eyedwife
member
in Baby Names
During an early morning nursing session on Sunday (you know, when your mind starts to wander...) I was thinking about Leah from Teen Mom's twins Aaliyah and Aliannah. I wondered if 15 years from now she would say "man I wish someone would have told me not give my kids such similar/matchy/whatever names" or if she'll love them her whole life.
I know we've discussed names we would have used if we had kids in high school that we'd never use now, and I know we have/had some really young moms that post on this board (although, if I recall, all gave their kids fairly classic names that are intuitively spelled) so I was curious as to their perspective.
(I know that was a lot of backstory) My question is - do you think that the women who have their children very young and give them made up/misspelled/"silly" (for lack of a better word) regret it when they get older?
2 notes:
*I'm not saying anything bad about teen pregnancies or young mothers - I don't believe you inherently have poor naming choices because you got pregnant young, nor do I believe that older mothers always good taste in names. I'm only referring to the women who actual do make bad naming choices and are young.
* I'm not referring to "trendy" names like Braydon, Caden, Bentley, etc. I'm talking about the Kaydynns, Alliviahs, and Isabellarinas (Nevaeh is borderline).
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Re: "Teen Mom" regret?
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
Yes, I am sure some will.
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Interesting question! I dunno, but I kind of think the human mind is wired to rationalize our own choices, plus the longer you know your child, the stronger the association between their names and their selves grows, so I think it would be unusual for a person to regret their kids' names even if they weren't great choices.
I think the kids are more likely to wish they had a different name than the moms are to wish they'd chosen differently.
I could be wrong but that's my guess anyway!
I think that it is probably common for women to have some sense of regret, but they also probably can't picture their child with any other name at that point.
I've also seen defensiveness, however. To me, automatic defensiveness means they are a little regretful and trying to validate their choice to themselves and others.
A couple thoughts on this...
1. Here's my theory on why many young moms give their children wonky-spelled names like Bentli and Nevaeh and Kaydynn... teens, as a general rule, are still in the rebellious, self-discovery phase of life. They want to express themselves and be unique (giant mohawks, purple hair, piercing their own belly buttons, etc. etc.) So it makes sense to me that if they were to be in a situation where it was their responsibility to give another human being a name, they would be more inclined to pick something "unique" and expressive. Pair that with the trendy names of our day and age, and you get Aeydan and Isabellarina.
2. And this is more of a pondering question, because as PPs have said, you kind of become attached to whatever you name your child so there is probably less regret on the parent's side than on the child's side - afterall the child is the one whose name is getting made fun of and mispronounced every day... I wonder, then, why more people don't change their names that they say they hate. If you hate your name so much, why not change it?? Or at least the spelling if that's the main concern.. Kaydynn could become Caden and Aaliyah could switch to Alea
When I was younger, I liked the youneek spelling for names and now I kinda still do. I have a common name but a "different" spelling and I have always liked that growing up. For example: Hannah vs Hanna. I like Hanna. Kind of different but not youneek. I don't like Kymberlee but when I was younger did.
To answer your question, I don't think most moms have a change of heart over time and I have no idea why I feel this way.
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She just named the one she had earlier this month... Addalyn.
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I can't stand those twins names. It sounds like Leah named both of them after herself, to be honest.
This is the first time I've ever thought of it this way. I'll never hear their names the same again, lol!
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I don't know any mothers that have regretted a name choice, but a friend of mine hates the name her mother gave her. It's basically a made up name, a run-on of the two names her mother couldn't choose between. Add that to a very different middle name and a hyphenated last name? Yeah, she was hating it. She has always gone by a nn drawn from the first have of her first name with friends, and her family has always used a nn drawn from the second half of her first name.
For odd spellings, again I can't think of any friends that have made up spellings of normal names. Closest I can reference is my sister, she doesn't care for her full first name so she uses a slightly shorter version of it (takes off the first syllable of the name), and she spells her shortened version slightly differently from her given name. For the spelling, it is similar to having the name Alicia and spelling it Alisha instead. Not drastic or you-neek (I'd slap her if she went with Ahleishiah!), but still different. She has otherwise maintained her given first name as her legal name.
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