Parenting after a Loss

Water works

Today was a decent day...LO fought me at every nap though and by the end of the day that is OLD.  Then at like 5:30 we went on a walk and ran into a neighbor I have met once...she told me she heard about my "miscarriage" from a neighbor and had been meaning to come talk to me but never had.  Her eyes filled with tears and I know she meant well, but she called Peyton a miscarriage repeatedly and she told me he was in heaven now and was happier.  I mean no harm to those of you with miscarriages, but Peyton was not one, he was a big beautiful baby that I delivered and whose ashes we had to scatter.  So that put me in a real sh*t mood...then Raylan decided for his last nap to have an EPIC meltdown, didnt want to sleep play or eat, just wanted to scream...for about 40 min.  Finally DH got home at like 8...he started his new job but we haven't moved yet= long commute and me home alone like 12 hrs a day.  All of these things have led me to water works.  I'm a mess.  I feel like I should have more patience when Raylan is upset because I'm so incredibly blessed to have him here, I'm upset DH will be gone so much for the next several months until we can sell this house and buy a new one, I'm upset abou that the neighbor said, and to top it off is bet money the baby won't sleep well AGAIN and it will just be rinse, lather, repeat tomorrow.  Right now I just want to stop crying and sleep.
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Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

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Re: Water works

  • I am so sorry *Hugs!!* I understand your feelings on having your loss referred to as a miscarriage, I have never experienced one and I pray I never will but they are Not the same thing. I hope you are able to get some rest tonight and have a better day tomorrow. 
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  • I'm sorry, I hope you're sleeping soon...all night. I've had a crappy day too. Not the same but filled with tears. I hope tomorrow's better. [[[hugs]]]
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  • (((Huge Hugs)))  I've ran into this situation before as well and it really sucks, bad! I too feel bad for those that miscarried, but I'm sure that even they would agree that if they had delivered a baby that they held and named and had a birth certificate from and buried that it's incredibly insulting and hurtful to refer to it as a miscarriage. Makes me angry just recalling situations like that.  Sorry about the naps too! They get better!  More hugs!!
    ?DD 9/17/10 22wks I carry you in my heart.?
    bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
    ?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
    bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
    bfp#4 2/25/13
    beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
  • imageAutumnmh1:
    (((Huge Hugs)))  I've ran into this situation before as well and it really sucks, bad! I too feel bad for those that miscarried, but I'm sure that even they would agree that if they had delivered a baby that they held and named and had a birth certificate from and buried that it's incredibly insulting and hurtful to refer to it as a miscarriage. Makes me angry just recalling situations like that.  Sorry about the naps too! They get better!  More hugs!!

     

    This.  I would never equate my m/c to that loss.  Big hugs to you, and all of the other ladies with similar stories.  I hope today is a better day for you. 

    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • Oh you poor thing!!! You deserve some "you" time. Tell DH you are going out for a few hours alone this weekend. Hopefully it will give you a chance to recharge and feel like you again. Good luck and hope Raylan sleeps better today!
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers image ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TTCAL.buddies.with.LilMags.and.mundayem~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DS1 10/10/09, Angel Baby 9/19/10 (12 weeks), DD 11/11/11, DS2 11/12/12
  • I'm so sorry huge hugs are being sent form me to you!! I understand exactly what you are saying about calling Peyton a miscarriage he most certainly was not and i would have corrected her but that is me LOL. I am sorry that Raylan is being nutty with sleeping. Just sending you big squishy hugs!!!

    Heather 

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
  • I'm sorry. Hugs.

    BPF 1. Baby Girl "Petri" 12/22/11 Said goodbye 12/27/11

    BPF 2. Baby Boy "Roo" 1/20/12 Heartbeat 160b/m 2/15/12 Said goodbye 2/20/12

    BPF 3. Rainbow Baby Boy "Creed"  4/28/12 Born healthy and alive 1/5/13

    BFP 4. "Rainbow 2.0" 8/17/14 due 4/28/15

     

    "Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you a thousand years. I love you a thousand more."

     

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  • Sometimes people are complete boobs and they don't even know it.  I get that she was trying to be sympathetic and everything but it doesn't help to say the wrong things.  I'm sorry she screwed it all up and made your day suck.  And I think that kids have a great ability to sense your mood and make matters worse.  Having a "calgon take me away" day does not make you a bad person - it just makes you human - but of course, being human we still feel guilty about it.  I hope today is going better today - and belated (((HUGS))) for yesterday.

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     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Thank you ladies...yesterday ended pretty terribly, I needed a shower to calm down after DH got home, then I needed to sleep so I didn't even get to hear about his first day and felt awful.  So far today seems to be going better *knock on wood* and when R gets up from this nap we're going to go meet my sister and her brood at the Zoo for some out time.  I hope I'm not too tired to spend some QT with DH when he gets home.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    CafeMom Tickers

    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

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