DH thoughts on TTC

RT0516 · February 2013

So I have been on here for a few weeks and I have been bouncing things that I have been learning off DH. I told him about temping and all that and he looked at me and said do you really want to get that carried away with this? He is a firm believer of HIO. He wants to have a baby but thinks we should just keep at it the "natural" way and whatever happens happens. I feel a little annoyed by what he is saying WWYD? But yet after we do the deed he has been saying comments that really show he wants to be a father in his own weird way.

RT0516 · February 2013

He figured if we are doing the deed ED something should stick

runningpenguin · February 2013

I don't tell DH anything about anything I do. He knows I temp every morning and have started using OPKs, but he's just enjoying the extra sex.

jschwind22 · February 2013

When we first started TTC and I did temp, my H kind of rolled his eyes but let me do what I want without any complaints.

nyg2042 · February 2013

My H looked at me a little funny at first, but much to my surprise, he's the one reminding me to temp when the alarm goes off and asking whether I peed on an OPK.

dland0201 · February 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
You can temp and track CM without telling him. It would save yourself the aggravation of wondering if you're truly "late" or not.

This is what I am doing, this way there is no added stress for him. When I know the timing is right I just make sure to get him in the mood which is all the time.

glitzandglitter · February 2013

I can understand why you would be annoyed. I hadn't heard about charting until I started TTC my 2nd DS. I like that it gives me an idea where I am in my cycle. If he's really against it maybe try a month or two without charting? Then maybe pick it up if needed later.

curlylocks3 · February 2013

RT0516:
He figured if we are doing the deed ED something should stick

Sounds painful.

bdipaolo86 · February 2013

Those were my husbands exact words. I just bought a bbt thermometer and OPKs anyway and he didn't say anything haha. I told him I got them because I like to know where I'm at in my cycle, which is completely true. I've learned so much about my body from TTC. I don't tell him when I'm fertile either I just initiate sex. He doesn't want to be a "sperm donor". Make sure you have sex when you're not fertile too so his feelings aren't hurt.

kamirault7 · February 2013

Initially, it was pretty easy to justify to him. I explained that I had irregular and sometimes longer cycles, so temping would help me understand (& confirm) when I ovulated during my cycle. I quickly learned that using the OPKs really helped to narrow down the fertile window. Having sex ED sounds exhausting and to be honest, not something DH has time for given his work schedule. GL!

krdesi · February 2013

RT0516:
He figured if we are doing the deed ED something should stick

Every day would be torture!

Though I do not temp because my sleep is not consistent enough, I do use opk's and I am usually pretty regular as far as cycle length so I am just hoping I actually ovulate. With opk's in mind, I also try to start doing the "deed" eod on like cycle day 10, so I hopefully catch my egg!

GL

BethK22 · February 2013

I actually think my husband is more impatient with the whole process than I am. I don't think he had any idea that it doesn't "just happen". He's constantly asking what more we can do which was cute at first but now notsomuch.

krdesi · February 2013

Also, watch the great sperm race with your husband. Mine is less na?ve about the baby making process after watching it....he now doesn't think I can get ku any day of the month like he used to! lol

wearebirds · February 2013

curlylocks3:
RT0516:
He figured if we are doing the deed ED something should stick

Sounds painful. 

OMG! Right?!

OP, I would either do it his way a couple months then amp it up...or explain that you're just going to temp for the time being to know more about your cycle. It takes a month or two to get the hang of it. Good luck!

FoxiePM · February 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
You can temp and track CM without telling him. It would save yourself the aggravation of wondering if you're truly "late" or not.

HTH do you temp without your SO knowing? We sleep in the same bed. Not a question for me personally but I know others are thinking it.

FoxiePM · February 2013

Beth&Derek:
I wanted to add that I always find posts like this interesting. When I decided to start charting, I went and bought a bbt and OPKs. I told my husband afterwards what my plan was, but it wasn't a discussion we had before-hand. Doing those things helps me to learn about my cycles and it doesn't really have anything to do with him, so I didn't even think to mention it to him first.

Same here!

modernfairytale8709 · February 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
You can temp and track CM without telling him. It would save yourself the aggravation of wondering if you're truly "late" or not.

This. My DH hates to discuss anything TTC related.

lmills730 · February 2013

My DH was the same way. He doesn't care what I do to my own body but he rolled his eyes, probably thinking I was nuts, because he thought we would get pregnant like the day after I stopped my pill. It's been three months now and I think he is more than happy that I have my cycle figured out so that we can have the best timing possible.

mmb248 · February 2013

Beth&Derek:
I wanted to add that I always find posts like this interesting. When I decided to start charting, I went and bought a bbt and OPKs. I told my husband afterwards what my plan was, but it wasn't a discussion we had before-hand. Doing those things helps me to learn about my cycles and it doesn't really have anything to do with him, so I didn't even think to mention it to him first.

This. We didn't discuss any charting, I just did it. He understands the temping, but once he told me to relax (only once) and he's said a couple of times that I should stop the OPKs. On the other hand, he doesn't get timing. He thinks if we have sex within a week (before OR after) O, then we're good. No amount of explaining this to him works. His 8th grade science teacher told him if you had sex within a week of a woman ovulating she could get pregnant and there's just no way that old bitty was wrong!

He finally started understanding the need to know when my FW is when I pointed out to him that in 12 cycles, he's only been in town for O twice (maybe three times).

victoria+james · February 2013

I'd give him a couple of months his way and tell him that if you aren't KU by xxx date that you would like to start temping.

The way I explained it to DH is that this way I'll know if I'm actually late or not and I don't have to do the dramatic OMG thing each month. He doesn't have to know the details or when I O, but that I will tell him when there is something to tell.

mathewsh · February 2013

I just started temping every day without really telling my DH much about it. DH didn't really ask much about it until recently. This is my 3rd cycle charting and he is now asking every day what my temp is and what that means? He gets frustrated sometimes because with our DD it "just happened" I keep reminding him that we are not getting any younger and if temping/charting ups our odds then why not give it a try!

PrincessPeach13 · February 2013

DH also wants it to happen 'naturally'. He doesn't really mind me temping and charting at all, he just doesn't like it when sex feels kind of forced during the fw. And I think it was kind of stressful for him to think about how technical charting and opks are, because he deals with that kind of thing at work all the time.

That said, he has gotten more excited about it as a few months have passed, and he will now ask me if I'm ovulating or fertile yet and checks out my chart occasionally.

Also, agree with pp that he doesn't really need to know about all the charting and temping, opks, etc., at least not at first. It may be a little overwhelming for him.

Lauren659 · February 2013

My husband had no idea what women do to TTC and seemed shocked by it all. we marvel all the time at how teenage girls get KU. He doesn't seem to mind me doing it, but he'd rather not know or talk about the details.

lrosy13 · February 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
You can temp and track CM without telling him. It would save yourself the aggravation of wondering if you're truly "late" or not.

This. He doesn't need to know all the details, and you will feel better knowing when you ovulated and what not.

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