Introduction
Snickerdoodle11611
member
I just wanted to introduce myself to this board in hopes I could start posting here and find a sense of community. My son is 16 months old and has been in EIP since 12 months. He had a lot of other medical problems his first year of life (a very large internal hemangioma in his chest cavity found at 3 months which created other complications and a very weakened immune system due to declined platelets) and his developmental delays sort of got lost in the shuffle of different specialists offices.
I now feel so much guilt that I should have seen the signs sooner and that he should have been in EIP sooner as well. When he was evaluated he was behind in all of the areas, most significantly in speech. He really only says hi, gagaga, dadada, and very rarely mama. Most of the time he is silent. He has low muscle tone, and our EIP therapist has referred us to a secondary OT therapist not affiliated with EI for sensory therapy. He gets overwhelmed in large rooms of people, has started banging his head agains the wall and is hitting himself and others. I'm at a loss right now and we have no official diagnosis.
I want to socialize him, but at the mother's group I belong to it is becoming more and more obvious he is behind. Other mothers and even complete strangers ask me why he's not talking, why he is constantly drooling, why he has such separation anxiety. Both sets of grandparents have really withdrawn and compare him to the other grandchildren telling me something is wrong with him. I love him so much, he is my everything and I want to make him better. I guess I'm just overwhelmed, I don't really know what to do as our weekly therapy doesn't seem to be enough.
Re: Introduction
I am not on as often as I would like to be but from the time I started posting here I felt welcome and so understood. I am sure you will too : Again welcome to the group.
Welcome to the board no on else wanted to join either.
If you are feeling lost and without direction, you may want to look into getting a developmental pediatrician appointment for your son. They specialize in diagnosing atypical behaviors and development in children and can give parents a direction for therapies and interventions. They do not replace your regular pediatrician. The appointments can have a long waiting list, so I would go ahaead a seek one out. Maybe by the time the appointment rolls around, he will be more caught up and if not, you have someone to lead you in the right direction.
Keep in mind that a medical issue can delay development and you should give your son a little break on expectations. I would get his hearing checked in the mean time. Passing the newborn screening does not count if there is a speech delay.
Good luck and welcome! We hope you don't have to stay.....
Hi and welcome.
As one of our regs says, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Four months of therapy is not very long at all in the scheme of things for developmental delays and medical complications -- be gentle with yourself and him on expectations. You can't make him better or fix his health or development -- I know the urge, but it's something that you have to come to accept. In terms of a diagnosis, you should know that the bar isn't very high for toddler behavior and a lot of things look the same at young ages; you might not get a clear diagnosis until your child is closer to two, three, or maybe even older.
You're being referred for additional therapies so that your son gets the level of help he needs. That's great and you're doing the right things! If you can consider adding some private therapy, you might want to explore that option or ask your current therapists for their thoughts on additional work you can do with him. I'd also ask your therapist on thoughts about the playgroup -- trying to have him gain social skills when he is struggling with communication and overwhelmed by groups to the point of distress doesn't sound like it's setting him up for success and you might want to try a different approach (single-kid playdates, or therapy-based ones, or parent-child classes), or table it for a bit while you focus on his therapy needs. I know the urge to do as much as possible is a strong one, but you don't have to try to tackle everything at once.
It's tough to be the parent of a child who is different. We get that. I hope you get the support you need here.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010