Mother in law trying to use 25 year old baby stuff!

Brandieskandies · February 2013

My mother in law only had my husband. She thought she would have more kids so she saved everything. When we told her I was pregnant she mentioned using all the stuff from my husband that she has kept in her attic all these years! I don't mind using some clothes his toy box. but I feel like his crib,high chair etc. is unsafe. I mean they have probably been recalled like a billion times. She even saved diapers! My husband has tried to tell her that we are not using things that are from when he was a baby but she just fights us says they are fine wants to use them when she watches him. Are we being silly? Would you use things that were 25 years old for your baby?

MrsWindyCity · February 2013

There is zero chance I would use a crib that old. The rest, I don't know, I guess I would have to take a look at it or something. In general, she sounds kind of crazy. Diapers for 25 years? Umm, wtf?

breathlife · February 2013

wow .. and ummmm NO ... bless her heart. Im sure she has good intentions but I agree the safety issue is a deal killer right off the bat esp for the crib ..

BUT .. no matter what she wants this is your baby and you have a right to say yes or no to anything concerning your baby .. If she is bound and determined to use that stuff then I probably wouldn't let her keep the baby .. period .. !! Your baby your rules !

makeene · February 2013

Take it all and make a nice bonfire.

Sarra21 · February 2013

Wow. Gold star to MIL for inventing an entirely new flavor of crazy.
I agree with pp: your baby, your rules and the crib is 100 not negotiable and Id be leary of the diapers. DH needs to try harder on the subject.

Girl031813 · February 2013

Lol!! I could have written this post, exactly!! When she offered the crib I just said that I had been doing research and had the one I wanted picked out already, plus his old furniture was not our style. I left it at that. She hasn't mentioned putting it up at her house though....I better double check that since it sounds like we might have the same MIL!

GabriP · February 2013

makeene:
Take it all and make a nice bonfire.

lol THIS!

Happy2BPregnant · February 2013

This is pretty nuts. I don't even know how I would deal with this. I think I would just tell her it's your first baby and you're excited and want to get all new stuff. I definitely wouldn't use 25 year old things...

emw8910 · February 2013

breathlife:
BUT .. nbsp;no matter what she wants this is your baby and you have a right to say yes or no to anything concerning your baby .. If she is bound and determined to use that stuff then I probably wouldn't let her keep the baby nbsp;.. period .. !! nbsp;Your baby your rules !nbsp;

This exactly! YH needs to tell her it's not safe to use a crib that old. The high chair and some things might actually be ok. My grandmother has a high chair from the 70s that she's used with all of her grandkids and great grandkids and it's been fine. Maybe you and your husband should look at the stuff and anything you don't feel comfortable with tell her she can't use it or she won't be keeping LO, simple as that. It's not always easy standing up to ILs but something like this is really important. Good luck!

watermellens · February 2013

I bet you can find a generic article about using a crib that old or even a specific recall notification about the crib that you can send her.

beforesunrise · February 2013

I thought it was bad enough that my mom sent me all my brother's clothes from 1973!? The furniture won't meet current safety standards - it's an easy explanation. I need to figure out how to say that the "fashion" has changed as well as the simplification of washing - most of the old clothes my mom sent would have needed to be ironed. No way!

sarahbethski04 · February 2013

I just had this conversation with my MIL! She was trying to use a cradle from the 1950's! It was a SIDS nightmare. So when I discussed with her she tells me her work does a selling website like Craigslist and that she's going to just buy used baby stuff off of there and fill her house. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I guess they just don't understand. If you find an article, please share!

wittyschaffy · February 2013

Crib, no. High chair, maybe. Some older wood ones really haven't changed much and I personally would be willing to at least check it out. She'd be sitting right there for meals too. Diapers, well they make nice dust rags? My mom kept some of my clothes, which I now have, and I will probably put lo in them for fun.

All that being said, this is your child and your decision. If you are really uncomfortable with the gear, her choice is to use yours or not watch your baby. Pretty simple.

JJ3813 · February 2013

Yikes...I thought my MIL was bad when she pulled out a garbage bag full of DH's blankets. Don't get me wrong, most of the things we have purchased for our LO were 2nd hand (tub, bouncer, playmat, etc), and I plan on continuing this through her childhood (I grew up on garage sale goods myself), but all of these things were made in the last few years and I check for recalls before purchasing.

I second the bonfire idea

SmoothieQueen · February 2013

my mom is a nut, and saved all my stuff, too! she was very insistant that i use my old stroller and onsies... which have been sitting in her hot box attic collecting dust and cigarette smoke. no, i didn't accept the stroller, explaining i already had my eye on one, and took the onsies but later donated them. my mom put up a fight as well, stating the items were still fine, but it's my baby and my choice what products i use. you are not being silly.

jamiedsgirl · February 2013

I would not have a problem with the high chair as long as she was sitting right there with him and he couldn't slip out. I used my old high chair for DS when we visited my parents. Also, my mom still uses my old diapers (I'm 30) as dust rags! So they might be usable as burp cloths, etc. But no way on the crib.

briannakate12 · February 2013

I have to laugh with you b/c my mother in law is EXACTLY the same way. What's worse is she had two kids and my husbands brother is who got all the "new" stuff about 35 years ago. She keeps trying to pawn stuff off on me too!! No thanks!! My in laws don't watch the kids very often and when they do, it's usually only a couple hours. Maybe look at some second hand shops/garage sales for some nicer used equipment if she'll be taking care of LO a lot. Tell her you were given the items so she doesn't think you spent any money on them, and that way you'll feel better knowing the stuff she's using with the baby is safe and she won't be offended

I know how hard these things can be with MILs

Crequito · February 2013

I might be super crazy but I would be opposed to using anything that had been sitting in an attic for that long. You don't know what's been crawling all over/in it! And anything like a crib or highchair or other device probably isn't safe to use.

kk1160 · February 2013

Same situation. DH is turning 30 in April, only child. MIL has already had us go through all the drawers in his old room and 'pick out what we want'. We didn't take much home... Creepy clowns *shudder* and rainbows are NOT our style at all. There are a few select outfits and an adorable pair of blue shoes, but I'm scared to wash them thinking they might just disintegrate! I plan on getting some shadow boxes and using them as decor in LO's room. At least they're being used somehow...

Thank goodness my Mom has been relatively sane so far. WHY, OH WHY is it always the MIL who's the nut-bar?!? Good luck

meheron80 · February 2013

Heck no on crib and chair. My nutso mil wanted us to take back our buy buy baby new beautiful crib and use stepfil's baby crib they had in the shed. Stepfil is over 60 yrs old btw.

jrfreeland · February 2013

Actually in some states there are laws against using recalled items. I can guarantee you that anything made 25 years ago has been recalled. If your baby were to get stuck in between crib bars, or fall from a high chair that didn't have up to date straps and the EMT's had to come to your house or your MIL's house and saw that you were using recalled/outdated items, you could be charged with child endangerment...they have these recall standards for a reason. Tell your mother in law that...and then if she chooses to use the items anyway say that you don't feel comfortable breaking the law and she can't watch your baby.

Brandieskandies · February 2013

Thanks everyone for their stories...it makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this. My plan is to at least look at the stuff & humor her. But I plan on measuring it & telling her the crib doesn't meet the safety standards for today. Then I already have a back up because I know she will fight me on it & say well it was good enough for my husband when he was a baby. I would let her know that was 25 years ago! Things have changed we know more now & how could she use things knowing they could be dangerous to her grandchild?

Thanks for bringing up the child endangerment issue...good point totally using that in my arguement. But like you all said bottom line its our baby & we have the right to say how we want things done & if she can't accept that then she won't be babysitting. I hate to cut her out of her 1st grandchild's life but if it comes to protecting my child I will do it! Thanks for letting me know I wasn't being unreasonable

Oh & my best friends dad does have a huge fire pit so I might just do that bonfire idea!

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