When it's not your month...

Mrbatesisinnocent · February 2013

I know it can be really disheartening when AF shows up for us ladies, but how have your DH's handled this?

My husband spent about 20 minutes apologizing to me today and I spent about the same amount of time explaining to him that it was in no way his fault and it just wasn't our month. I guess I hadn't spent a ton of time thinking about how it affected him.

Have you have experienced anything like this with your DH? How did you encourage him?

iErica · February 2013

I don't think mine is really impacted. He was VERY impacted when we had a miscarriage, but he's not really "into" the whole TTC thing. <~ this sounds bad. He's into it.. (he will even ask what my temp is and what not) but I mean, he just believes it'll happen when it happens, and that's the right timing for us. He doesn't get disappointed when it doesn't happen, he's not in a big rush or anything. I'm the one who gets aggravated.

aessary03 · February 2013

My hubby is supportive and wants a family, but he is nowhere as invested in this ttc stuff as I am. I'm the emotional one. He just hugs me and tells me there's always next month. Even during the time we miscarried, he was super supportive but not emotional.

krdesi · February 2013

I don't think my husband gets too effected by my af showing up...it's more of a solo suffering lol. Plus it would get tiring if he apologized every month my period showed up instead of a positive hpt.

herecomesthesun · February 2013

Since we've had 23 of those months, the last time AF showed, my husband asked me, "Why is this so hard?" He is just as frustrated as I am.

He doesn't apologize. I don't apologize. It's not either of our faults. It just is.

AmyC925 · February 2013

When I read the title to this, I thought it said "When it's not in your mouth".

I'm a little disappointed now.

krdesi · February 2013

AmyC925:
When I read the title to this, I thought it said "When it's not in your mouth".

I'm a little disappointed now.

Haha I read it the same way! Then I clicked on it and it clearly had nothing to do with something in your mouth!

Mrbatesisinnocent · February 2013

AmyC925:
When I read the title to this, I thought it said "When it's not in your mouth".I'm a little disappointed now.

I think Banker can come up with a good clicky poll...

abremer · February 2013

I just asked my DH how he was affected by this process. We haven't been trying for too long. It has only been since Sept about 6 cycles. His words were, "I am affected because during FW having sex feels like work." we had a little chat. He also said that, "I get sad when I get sad about it."

I guess we will check in with each other in a couple more months to see if it gets worst.

spacepotatoes · February 2013

From the beginning, my DH has said that it won't be really real for him until he sees that BFP so it's not the same for him every cycle as it is for me. He doesn't get his hopes up and ride the same roller coaster that I do.

He has said, though, that the more cycles we have with good timing, the more he'll start to wonder if something's wrong with him.

modernfairytale8709 · February 2013

I swear I read the title of your post as "when it's not in your mouth."

And I have no idea why.

But, to answer your question, DH doesn't really seem affected by it. He's more patient than I am.

modernfairytale8709 · February 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
krdesi:
AmyC925:
When I read the title to this, I thought it said "When it's not in your mouth".

I'm a little disappointed now.
Haha I read it the same way! Then I clicked on it and it clearly had nothing to do with something in your mouth!
Glad it wasn't just me.... LOL

Me too! Not sure what's going on, but it clearly has something to do with Banker's crazy gif from earlier. Devil magic!

danielledee89 · February 2013

For us DH doesn't get too emotional when AF shows up. He wants it as bad as I do but he's the calm one about it. Basically when AF shows up I say to him "so ....

" and he knows and just says well try next time. He tries to cheer me up any way possible, he's amazing that way

daisyrose85 · February 2013

aessary03:
My hubby is supportive and wants a family, but he is nowhere as invested in this ttc stuff as I am. I'm the emotional one.

This is how it is for us as well. My husband has said many times how cool it's going to be once I get a BFP, but he's a lot more patient and willing to trust the process than I am. I'm glad, because I'm so emotional, I need someone to be calm and unaffected by the situation.

sarah0632 · February 2013

My DH views AF as the enemy. He knows how TTC works, yet when my period is due he will say "all we have to do is get through tomorrow" as in get through tomorrow with no AF.

AF is due tomorrow. I know she's a comin'. I tell him I'm either pregnant now or I'm not. AF coming is only indicative of not being pregnant now.

I am starting to question his sanity though.. He made a joke today when we saw a new mom and her newborn something along the lines of snatching that woman's baby. I think all this TTC stuff is getting to him. LOL

lmills730 · February 2013

I will echo PPs and say that my DH is one of the "go with the flow" types and thinks when the time is right for us, it will happen. Although, yesterday he was joking about how every man thinks he will get the job done right away.
He's usually more worried about me getting too disappointed. Does your DH know the ins and outs of how it works? Maybe you could educate him a bit more on how it's not just all on the sperm? That it's a lot of factors that must line up from the woman as well?

dancer7889 · February 2013

talon1226:
modernfairytale8709:
I swear I read the title of your post as "when it's not in your mouth."And I have no idea why.But, to answer your question, DH doesn't really seem affected by it. He's more patient than I am.

Lol I did too.

DH is starting to get a little frustrated but overall he is much less affected by each passing month than I usually am.

I thought the same too!

But my DH was very go with the flow and it'll happen when it happens. Now that it's taking a little longer, he's a bit more emotionally invested. He's told me he's tired of waiting and just wants it to happen! Well me too lol

ant331 · February 2013

DH watched The Great Sperm Race last week, and I think since then he's been a little more aware of the small things that can affect his sperm (boxers not briefs, not working out on BD days, etc.). Last night was the first time he really said something that let me know that he really wants this to happen. Yesterday was CD 3. When he got in bed he said, "So when can we start trying again?" It was cute!

abremer · February 2013

ant331:
DH watched The Great Sperm Race last week, and I think since then he's been a little more aware of the small things that can affect his sperm (boxers not briefs, not working out on BD days, etc.). Last night was the first time he really said something that let me know that he really wants this to happen. Yesterday was CD 3. When he got in bed he said, "So when can we start trying again?" It was cute!

Yes we both watched this together and I can tell that since then DH is a bit more invested, but still tries to act like "It will happen when it happens." Where I am more aggressive and say things like, "WTF why isn't it HAPPENING!!"

Kibbe&Haley · February 2013

My husband has had chemo recently which can kill sperm and so when I get upset he gets frustrated with me because he thinks it's all his fault.

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