Postpartum Depression
rjeller32
member
PPD?
rjeller32
member
I haven't posted on here before, but I am not sure what is going on with me, and I feel like it might be PPD. I had LO 7 weeks ago, and I have a 2 year old. Since DD2 was born, I have just felt like my life is a never ending cycle, being a SAHM. I have been extremely depressed about it, and as much as I love my LO's, I can help but have extreme resentment towards DH for having freedom from home. I constantly find myself crying about it, and I feel like I shouldn't be a mom. I can't shake this feeling, and it makes me feel like a terrible person that I want my freedom back. I am a young mom, 21, and I see all of my friends going off and being successful in school, and having fun, and although I have fun with my girls, I am really jealous of everyone around me. I keep thinking it's going to get better, and then I wake up and do the SAME thing I did yesterday and crying about it. It causes me to have very little patience for my children, and I find myself picking fights with my husband. I want to enjoy my life, but I just can't seem to, and it hurts me. How do I cope with all of this? I know it sounds completely selfish, I just don't know how to get rid of these feelings. If I think about it for too long, I find myself just wishing I didn't exist, or I chose a different path in life. I don't want to feel those feelings!
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Re: PPD?
Except that I'm older (26) I felt the EXACT same way you do. I wondered why I made the decisions I did, and was so jealous when others seemed to have it "perfect" compared to me. I felt like I was in a never-ending rut and every day was just a journey to my one goal- going back to bed.
I waited too long to get help... 19 weeks postpartum... but I talked to my doctor and now that I am managing my depression with medication, I feel SO much better. Just talking about it with my doctor, who was very sympathetic, made me feel better. It was like this huge weight was taken off of me and since being on medication for just a month I feel like I have an entirely different life. Every day is a pretty good day. I still have times where I don't feel wonderful, which the doctor said is normal, but otherwise I am wonderful. My husband and I hardly fight at all now, and I feel like I'm a better mother. It doesn't seem so horrible to be at home with my kids all day now, and I play with my daughter so much more now, and I enjoy it. I can see a difference in my 2-year-old daughter, she hugs me all the time now and says she loves me and wants me to play with her.
The doctor said that the medication I'm on hasn't been shown to have problems with breastfeeding, and the benefits outweigh the risks.
Please get some help. It's hard to ask for help, with all the pressures that are put on mothers to do everything on their own, but if you have a good doctor, he/she will not make you feel bad for feeling the way you do.
How long after taking the meds did you feel better? And did they give you side effects at all? I've heard they do and it makes me nervous. Kind of like a pick your poison type thing.