Consult with VBAC friendly MW, now family not on board!

Ceci131 · February 2013

Last week I brought up VBAC to my OB to find out practice policy is a flat no. I should have done my research, but really didn't even know it was an option until I started reading & got ahold of my post op reports. I have an appt tomorrow with VBAC friendly MW and the local teaching hospital. Unfortunately, my husband is not 100% on board, he's OK with me getting the info but I think he really doesn't trust the idea of a MW delivery or see the big deal. My parents are 100% against it; due to previous medical history, unfamiliarity with the risks, and having a MW as the practitioner.

Just another case of why does it have to be so hard to seek out a VBAC!! Hopefully I will have good news tomorrow!

pitterpatter129 · February 2013

Your thing doesn't say where you live, but check out your local ICAN website/fb group and see who in your area delivers vbacs. Sounds like your DH might prefer an OB. I'm sure there is at least one vbac friendly doc! There are two in my city. Good luck!

Ceci131 · February 2013

Unfortunately, no ICAN active chapter around here (Mobile Al) and this MW is the only VBAC friendly provider I have heard of (contacted doulas in town and La leche), she was recommended by current OB though. I agree, I think my DH and parents are put off by the non-OB, especially when thinking about the what ifs.

margeincharge3 · February 2013

You sort of answered my question above. But just to be clear, is your H turned off by the mw or trying for vbac at all?

I personally wasn't comfortable vbac'ing anywhere but in a hospital setting. I know it was super cautious of me but it was just something I wanted for my own comfort level. If your H is only concerned about the mw aspect then I think a hospital vbac is a very reasonable compromise. I had a doula with me to help me advocate for myself. I would definitely encourage a doula for any hospital vbac attempt.

A37licia · February 2013

That's hard. I know of many husbands that became MUCH more comfortable after talking to the midwife. Do you have any friends who have used midwives, and would their DH's talk to your DH? Keep going, and stay here for support! There is time for them to come around.

It's really hard with parents - there is so much over the years that has gone into their mindset. My MIL was very, very nervous about our homebirth because all of her exposure was 1) hospital nursing (retired nurse) and 2) the only homebirths she personally knew of didn't go well (one was an unplanned hb). But, she trusted us and really valued that. I don't think she's as worried this time now that we've had one great homebirth. But she didn't put much credit at all in the very first midwife we used with our first child - they weren't that valid to her. It took time, and it took openness. If she had persisted in refusing to see the benefit of what we were doing, we would have had to say this is no longer a subject we will talk about with you. Thankfully, it never came to that.

jesselayne8 · February 2013

Ceci131:
Unfortunately, no ICAN active chapter around here (Mobile Al) and this MW is the only VBAC friendly provider I have heard of (contacted doulas in town and La leche), she was recommended by current OB though. I agree, I think my DH and parents are put off by the non-OB, especially when thinking about the what ifs.

Mobile, AL is hard because the private hospitals do not allow VBACs. There is one OB at USA hospital that does VBACs but I can not remember his name (he is a MFM too I think).

Ceci131 · February 2013

jesselayne8:
Mobile, AL is hard because the private hospitals do not allow VBACs. There is one OB at USA hospital that does VBACs but I can not remember his name (he is a MFM too I think).

yes it is! The midwife practices through USA and under Dr Sherman. I'm hoping tomorrows visit will answer DHs questions and that I can get some good info as well. For having a med school and teaching hospital , Mobile is in the dark ages! MW can't legally practice outside of hospital I believe and home births are illegal too so a lot of women go to this cottage in Mississippi to have a home birth like experience, I have no desire to d that & would be happy to just have a trial of ,labor in a hospital!

jesselayne8 · February 2013

Ceci131:
jesselayne8:
Mobile, AL is hard because the private hospitals do not allow VBACs. There is one OB at USA hospital that does VBACs but I can not remember his name (he is a MFM too I think).
yes it is! The midwife practices through USA and under Dr Sherman. I'm hoping tomorrows visit will answer DHs questions and that I can get some good info as well. For having a med school and teaching hospital , Mobile is in the dark ages! MW can't legally practice outside of hospital I believe and home births are illegal too so a lot of women go to this cottage in Mississippi to have a home birth like experience, I have no desire to d that & would be happy to just have a trial of ,labor in a hospital!

They are definitely in the dark ages. I was a nurse at one of the private hospitals from 2008-2011.

Ceci131 · February 2013

Arghh! Today's visit, thought was a a midwife consult, but it was just a nurse intake! Took 1/2 a day off work to answer 10 minutes of questions and now go back next week to actually meet the midwife and maybe get answers!

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