Help me not be THAT MOM — The Bump
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Help me not be THAT MOM

So at dropoff this morning, one of DS2's teachers (she's a floater and in his room sometimes) mentioned to me that he didn't like the cereal I packed for him. I said, "huh, that's weird, he ate it at home." She said "Oh-well he did like the Sugar Pops I gave him!" To which I was kind of like Indifferent and then she said "and he had lucky charms the other day-not the marshmallows though!"

Ok. I am very diligent about keeping garbage food like that out of my house. I am not a crazy person though.....my kids get treats, pizza, some candy on occasion. But I give it to them. Yeah, no wonder he didn't want the cereal from home-he knows you will give him sugar-filled junk!

I am not sure how to approach this. This woman is wonderful and is like a grandmother to my kids. She gives them christmas and birthday gifts and babies both of them. And I know she thinks what she is doing is completely harmless. But um, stop feeding my 15 month old crap food. What would you do??

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Re: Help me not be THAT MOM

  • I had a similar issue with our DC. They provide all meals and snacks but for awhile there, it was crap food. I'm like you - I'm fine with occasional treats, pizza, etc - I just didn't think it should be an everyday thing. We did send in some healthy food for him and the provided food got better, as far as I know, so we kind of let it go. I was really worried about being THAT MOM too.

    In your case where you pack his meals, could you just say that you'd really like him to eat what you've packed? Or that you don't want him to have all that sugar?

    Why do daycares even have sugary cereals like that or crappy food?!
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  • Just be polite about it and tell her you are generally trying to limit their sugar and only do it for special occassions and ask her to try to avoid giviing them stuff like that as much as possible.
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  • image SarahKate31:
    Why do daycares even have sugary cereals like that or crappy food?!

    Oh, should have clarified. Its not the daycare's......they only provide snacks to the older kids (the room DS1 is in now) and they aren't TOO unhealthy. I have to provide all of DS2's drinks and food for the day. This was from her personal stash!

    This is the same lady who let DS1 have a taste of juice when he was in her class and from that day on he constantly wanted juice......Angry

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  • DKs daycare has a policy that no cereals with more than 9 grams of sugar per serving will be served. They also do not provide Juice, only milk or water. I would definitely have a conversation with the teacher and let her know that you'd like DS to be served what you sent him. If she wants to have a "private stash" to use as treats it needs to be something they are allowed to have, like puffs.
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  • image mrs. remy:

    image SarahKate31:
    Why do daycares even have sugary cereals like that or crappy food?!

    Oh, should have clarified. Its not the daycare's......they only provide snacks to the older kids (the room DS1 is in now) and they aren't TOO unhealthy. I have to provide all of DS2's drinks and food for the day. This was from her personal stash!

    This is the same lady who let DS1 have a taste of juice when he was in her class and from that day on he constantly wanted juice......Angry

    Okay but still...why does she need a personal stash? I'm sure she means well and obviously the kids are happy when she gives them sugary food, but still annoying.

    PS: Now I am hungry for cereal...

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  • My assupmption is that she is using this as treats or rewards.  I am not generally a fan of giving food based rewards as it contributes to overeating.  (Occassionally is fine, but not on a regular basis!)

    At my daughter's school they get a stamp on their hand for doing a good job or making a good decision.  At the end of the day if Evie has earned a stamp she runs up to show it off to me.  It is surprisingly effective.

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  • BTW - in DD's class (of 4 yos) they are still supposed to nap, but most of them really don't need the 2 hour nap anymore.  One of the teachers has been taking 2-3 of the loudest, chattiest kids with her while she eats her lunch in another room, so the others can sleep.  I appreciate her motivation, however, she's been feeding the kids all the junk in her lunch - and I mean literally JUNK like candy, oreos, etc.  First of all - who eats that crap for lunch on a regular basis?  Gross - 2nd - why would you think that was OK to give little, little kids on a regular basis?  And, I love the teacher, she's great with the kids, etc.  But, jeez???  DD wasn't included in the group, but one of her little friends was and her mom heard sort of random storeis about this and didn't put 2 and 2 together for a few weeks, but then she was furious. 
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  • image KathrynMD:
    BTW - in DD's class (of 4 yos) they are still supposed to nap, but most of them really don't need the 2 hour nap anymore.  One of the teachers has been taking 2-3 of the loudest, chattiest kids with her while she eats her lunch in another room, so the others can sleep.  I appreciate her motivation, however, she's been feeding the kids all the junk in her lunch - and I mean literally JUNK like candy, oreos, etc.  First of all - who eats that crap for lunch on a regular basis?  Gross - 2nd - why would you think that was OK to give little, little kids on a regular basis?  And, I love the teacher, she's great with the kids, etc.  But, jeez???  DD wasn't included in the group, but one of her little friends was and her mom heard sort of random storeis about this and didn't put 2 and 2 together for a few weeks, but then she was furious. 

    uggggghhhhhh....yeah, see, I really think that they think they are doing absolutely nothing wrong. They probably see it as 'rewarding' the kids.

     

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  • Can you talk to the director instead of the floater at the daycare? Just tell them that you rather have the boys eat the food that your provide to them. Hopefully they would abide by your wishes. Good Luck.
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  • image jcsntms06:
    Can you talk to the director instead of the floater at the daycare? Just tell them that you rather have the boys eat the food that your provide to them. Hopefully they would abide by your wishes. Good Luck.
    I don't think I'd go to the director - that makes it come off like she's in trouble and you're mad - you know she's got good intentions and is trying to be nice. Just be direct with her and ask her to not give your kids that stuff. If she then ignores you. ... talk to the director?
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  • image KathrynMD:
    image jcsntms06:
    Can you talk to the director instead of the floater at the daycare? Just tell them that you rather have the boys eat the food that your provide to them. Hopefully they would abide by your wishes. Good Luck.
    I don't think I'd go to the director - that makes it come off like she's in trouble and you're mad - you know she's got good intentions and is trying to be nice. Just be direct with her and ask her to not give your kids that stuff. If she then ignores you. ... talk to the director?

    I didn't read the other post before responding. I guess you probably don't want to go to the director if that means you'll get the floater in trouble. 

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  • image mrs. remy:

    image SarahKate31:
    Why do daycares even have sugary cereals like that or crappy food?!

    Oh, should have clarified. Its not the daycare's......they only provide snacks to the older kids (the room DS1 is in now) and they aren't TOO unhealthy. I have to provide all of DS2's drinks and food for the day. This was from her personal stash!

    This is the same lady who let DS1 have a taste of juice when he was in her class and from that day on he constantly wanted juice......Angry

    They are NOT allowed to give the kids their own food!  I would talk with the director and just let her address it-Our teacher did ask me one day because DD was asking her her cereal and I was there-I said that it was fine-but it wasn't sugary cereal...she did say they are not supposed to give their food to the kids.

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  • Wow I'm impressed. What daycare is this. We are looking for a place now and would LOVE a daycare that served healthy meals and limited sugar. 
  • Its really not about being "that mom". You want to raise your child/children the way you feel is best, which is by providing healthy things to them. Good for you. If it were me I would kindly but sternly tell the DC that you prefer your child to not have the sugary cereal that she is giving him. If your child is hungry he will eat what you give him. My son will refuse to eat his healthy foods at times, so he doesnt eat. I tell him no snacks or milk. I know this may seem mean, but us as mothers are not resturants. Usually about an hour later he comes asking for his food, and he then eats it with no issues.

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