Natural Birth

Water Birth and People in Delivery Room

Please don't flame me for the amount of people I want in the delivery room. On other boards they don't seem very open to having more than just DH and nurses/OB/midwives in the room with you. I understand that other people are not comfortable with it, but it is important to me. I have been a part of a lot of births (I'm a doula), and I want to give my family the chance to be a part of such an amazing experience. I was with my cousin during the birth of her son, and I have the most amazing connection with him. During my labor/deliver I would love to have the father (my bf), my mom, my stepmom, his mom, my cousin (same one I saw deliver), and my best friend. I have absolutely no problem with these people seeing me at that moment, and I am completely comfortable with all of them. His mom and I talk about everything, and I am more comfortable with her than most of my own family.

 I guess my question is, do you think it is possible to have all these people in the room and still have a successful water birth? I have always wanted to do a water birth, but I also want all of these people in the room with me. I just don't know if I am being unreasonable, and would love input/suggestions from you all! Especially if you had a lot of people in the delivery room, or had a water birth, or both. Thanks in advance!

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Re: Water Birth and People in Delivery Room

  • imageredaero:
    You're so in the zone when you're giving birth, you don't really notice who else is in the room anyway. (A marching band could have paraded through when I was pushing with my son, and I wouldn't have noticed.) So if lots of family present is what you want, your providers are okay with it, and you're confident that everyone present knows what to expect and can contribute positively to your experience -- then I say go for it. 

    Thank you, that's kind of what I was thinking would happen, but because I'm a FTM I wasn't sure if it was unrealistic. My midwives allow as many people as you want in the room, so that won't be a problem. Also, both my mom and my bf's mom are extremely supportive of doing a water birth. When my bf wasn't sure about it, and he had a lot of questions, they both talked to him about the benefits and encouraged him to support me in doing the water birth. Hopefully it all works out! 

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  • I have very little experience here, but I think it would depend on where you're giving birth and what their policies are. I know the hospital where my friend gave birth (whose birth I attended) allowed a max of three people in the delivery room at the time of birth. They were reluctant to allow the one extra person who managed to talk her way in. I don't know the policies of your birth facility, but I certainly don't judge you for wanting to share the experience with loved ones. Also, in answer to the question would you still be able to have the water birth, I suppose it would depend on whether the space around the birthing tub would allow for multiple people to be within view and whether they would be in the way of the birthing staff. HTH. Good luck!

    Edit: Typed before you posted that your have a m/w who allows multiple people. Disregard that part. Lol.

  • imageJellyfish42:

    I have very little experience here, but I think it would depend on where you're giving birth and what their policies are. I know the hospital where my friend gave birth (whose birth I attended) allowed a max of three people in the delivery room at the time of birth. They were reluctant to allow the one extra person who managed to talk her way in. I don't know the policies of your birth facility, but I certainly don't judge you for wanting to share the experience with loved ones. Also, in answer to the question would you still be able to have the water birth, I suppose it would depend on whether the space around the birthing tub would allow for multiple people to be within view and whether they would be in the way of the birthing staff. HTH. Good luck!

    Edit: Typed before you posted that your have a m/w who allows multiple people. Disregard that part. Lol.

    Thanks :) I see you saw the other post. Luckily hey will let me have as many people as I want. Also, I went to see the mother baby center, because they just opened and had a huge tour. The rooms are definitely big enough for the blue tub and everyone else to be there. Hopefully at the time I go into labor there isn't anyone else wanting a water birth, because they do have one room designated for it. The room and bath tub are huge, and the tub has a ton of space around it where my family could stand. 

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  • Absolutely.

    As long as everyone behaves themselves and you're comfortable with it I say have as many people as you want. 

    I had my DH, DH's mom, DH's sister, my mom, my sister, and my doula...so six people plus the midwife and nurses. We are a super close family and I am so glad they got to take part in the birth. I never once wished they weren't there. They were also pretty much silent which helped. 

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  • To me a big part of a successful natural birth (and I don't really see a water birth as being especially different) is how relaxed and comfortable the mother feels. So if you're relaxed and comfortable with the people you invite into the birth room then you should be fine.

    I've only ever had a MW and/or DH present. I'm thinking more and more about how I'd love to share a future birth with my parents. I just have no idea how to get to have that happen without inviting MIL in too (who I don't want in my space when giving birth)

    Good luck with your upcoming birth. 

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  • imageredaero:
    You're so in the zone when you're giving birth, you don't really notice who else is in the room anyway. (A marching band could have paraded through when I was pushing with my son, and I wouldn't have noticed.) So if lots of family present is what you want, your providers are okay with it, and you're confident that everyone present knows what to expect and can contribute positively to your experience -- then I say go for it. 

    I completely agree.  The only person I noticed was my H because he was in my face when I was pushing but there could have been a whole team of people in there.  I would give everyone a heads up ahead of time on birth etiquette just so they have an idea of what to expect. My doula send out a letter like this for her birth which I thought was great.

     https://www.motherrisingbirth.com/2012/11/birth-etiquette.html

  • With #1 I had my mom, MIL, and DH in the room during pushing.  A couple of my sisters came in and out during labor, as well as a friend or two.

    With #2 I had my mom, doula, BFF and DH in the room during pushing.  A few other people came in and out during labor.

    With #3 I had a homebirth/waterbirth.  In the room throughout labor and pushing were - DH, BFF, mom, MIL, SIL, two of my sisters, and my three midwives.  My dad even stopped in for a minute before I yelled at him to get out.

    With this baby, if it ever comes, I will have DH, BFF, mom, another friend, and probably two sisters in the room during pushing, but I have limited visitors during labor to only 1-2 people at a time and they need to shut up.  Last time it was like they were having a party in my house and it was so distracting.

    Do whatever you want.  I don't think the number of people in the room plays a role in your birth as long as you can remain focused and you aren't bothered by them.

        
  • I'd say go for it. You can always change your mind, even day of. Just make sure to manage expectations beforehand so no one is insulted if you suddenly decide, for instance, that you need the room to be calmer, quieter, whatever. But if you have so many supportive people, I think that's great!
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  • Thank you for all of the replies! I am heading out the door for work, so I don't have time to reply individually, but you all had great advice. I will definitely be trying to do a water birth, and I hope all of these people will be a part of the experience.
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  • imageNechie122:
    Just make sure to manage expectations beforehand so no one is insulted if you suddenly decide, for instance, that you need the room to be calmer, quieter, whatever.

    This. I love my mother and have always been super close to her and wanted her to be there for the birth of her grandchild, but once labor started getting serious, I couldn't stand her being in the room not doing anything. Anyone who was just standing around (everyone except dh) suddenly had to leave, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I feel bad now, but my mother was extremely understanding, and it was what I needed at the time. As a ftm, you won't know what you want until you're in the middle of it, so make sure everyone understands not to be offended if you want them to leave, for not apparent reason.

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  • My friend had a big group at her home birth. I couldn't even say....maybe 12? I don't know but she had a successful water birth. They had one of those tubs set up in a room and we all were gathered around it. It was her third so I don't know if that helped with things. Would it be something I would like? Absolutely not! In fact that experience (which she adored) made me want as few people as possible at my birth. Not because I'm prudish but it just didn't seem very calming. But to each their own. If that's what you want and think you can handle that then go for it.
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  • I say as long as they are people you are totally comfortable with, people you don't have to be polite with, then go for it.  My requirement for having people with me, was that they were people who I could tell to leave, be quiet, or brush their teeth (in the case of DH) and not feel bad about it.  So once I had MIL in the room and the other time it was my mom, with DH of course and it worked out great both times.  I think it's good to have at least one other person besides your main support person.  It takes some of the pressure off of them, particularly if it's a long labor.
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