Parents/Inlaws live with you?

jeneric06 · December 2008

Just wondering if anyone's parents or in-laws live with you. One or both? My DH and I are considering asking my mother to live with us. There are a lot of things to consider I know but potentially she could sell her house, work part time, and help out with ds. We would eventually sell ours as soon as we could maybe build to allow her a more private area. We have a 4 bedroom 2 bath house...enough room I think. What was your experience with this?

jen5-03 · December 2008

I'd go insane if my mom moved in. DH would go insane if his mom moved in.

But when I was 6yo, my mom's mother moved in with us. My parents were divorced the year before and I was painfully shy and miserable in daycare. Grandma had been retired for a year or so. She moved across the state to live with us. She kept her house and rented it out for the rest of her life. I don't know for sure how the finances worked, I think it was childcare in an even exchange for rent/utilities/food. Grandma cooked and cleaned the kitchen but not much more than that as far as housekeeping as far as I remember.

For me, having her there was AMAZING. I basically got a WOHM and a SAHM. Grandma did so much with me, helped me with homework and studying and science projects (she was a retired teacher) - she helped me earn badges in girl scouts and did all sorts of crafty things with me.

We had a 3bedroom, 2.5bath house. Grandma and I had rooms upstairs and shared a bathroom.

She lived with us until I went to high school - partly because she felt I was old enough to stay alone and partly because my mom was supposed to get married (but didn't).

Bearbride05 · December 2008

We had considered DH's mom retiring and moving in with us to care for DS when I went back to work at the first of the year. But she backed out on us. :-( I think you have enough room. Just make sure everyone sits down together and talks about their expectations for the arrangement...money, privacy, etc. If it works out, it will be an amazing asset to your DC.

Temp159135562506975 · December 2008

Hell no. I don't want ANYONE living with us... even if i had a huge house- it would drive me crazy.

I know some people do it - and in some cultures it's quite common- but it would never happen in our house - with either of our parents. No way.

JARbaby · December 2008

My Mom lives with us and it is great.

We have a 4br, 3.5 bath and DH and I have our own floor (4th), Mom has a 2nd MBR on the 3rd with DD and the office/guest room with her own in suite bathroom.

If you have any questions about logistics page me on 3rd tri until the 20th when I have #2!

Halo79RN · December 2008

I think it may be different when it's your own mother...but we lived with my ILs for a time after Katrina (they moved up to us)... not good. They were trying to be helpful but took over the house and it drove me nuts! It was a stressful period and I was pregnant and emotional... but I literally lost all control over my own house with the exception of my bedroom. I was much happier when they got an apt. I love them... but I didn't like living with them. I love when my mom comes up for month long periods. We get along great... but I could see her living with us getting old. I like my space... but would like family closer... they are a good 25 hr drive away... that's too far.

Mysterious_wife · December 2008

I love my FIL and he lived with us for about 6 weeks. When he packed his last bag/box I was overjoyed. Even though it was a short time deal it was still a bit overwhelming having an extra person in our house. I had to watch what I wore, when I took a shower, and a lot of other little stuff. At the time we did not have children. Now if any of our parents had no choice, but to live with someone then yes we would do it again. I personally would not recommend it.

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