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Multiple people chipping in for one shower

Barbara83Barbara83 member
in Baby Showers

My fiance's stepmom asked my fiance if anyone was planning on throwing me a shower and if not that she'd like to take the initiative but wouldn't be able to pay for it all. She was suggesting that my best friend and my fiance's best friend chip in to help out. I'm deeply touched that she offered to help out with this since no one else has offered. Neither my fiance nor I are that close with her and when we do see her maybe twice a year we don't have the best relationship. She actually didn't even ask us about this, she had my FI's dad call to ask, twice. I'm worried things are going to get messy having multiple people organizing the shower. I don't know if it's really appropriate for my FI or I to ask our parents and our best friends if they'd want to chip in on a shower. I'm not sure how this is going to work. Has anyone else have experience with this or have any suggestions? 

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Re: Multiple people chipping in for one shower

  • tilsonctilsonc member

    Its normal to have several people co-host a shower. Don' ask anyone if they want to "chip in." The stepmom needs to ask around to see if others are intersted in co-hosting so they can plan and decide who wants to do what (cake, invites, ect). They can all communicate with each other via email. Should be fine as long as there is someone that can take control and have a good understanding of what everyone signed up for.

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member

     

    imagetilsonc:

    Its normal to have several people co-host a shower. Don' ask anyone if they want to "chip in." The stepmom needs to ask around to see if others are intersted in co-hosting so they can plan and decide who wants to do what (cake, invites, ect). They can all communicate with each other via email. Should be fine as long as there is someone that can take control and have a good understanding of what everyone signed up for.

    I agree with both of these posters.  Your stepmom needs to contact the people...maybe give her numbers so she can do that.  It is nice of her to offer.

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  • JontueJontue member
    imagerhubarb123:

     


    imagetilsonc:

    Its normal to have several people co-host a shower. Don' ask anyone if they want to "chip in." The stepmom needs to ask around to see if others are intersted in co-hosting so they can plan and decide who wants to do what (cake, invites, ect). They can all communicate with each other via email. Should be fine as long as there is someone that can take control and have a good understanding of what everyone signed up for.



    I agree with both of these posters.  Your stepmom needs to contact the people...maybe give her numbers so she can do that.  It is nice of her to offer.



    I agree
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    Honestly, I don't know if I'd even proactively give her the numbers. Shes probably going to tell them exactly that "she gave me your number as someone who might cohost with me".

    I'd tell her "I don't feel comfortable asking anyone to cohost and no one has offered yet. If someone does, I'll have them contact you. "
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  • CRLSMC2011CRLSMC2011

    I agree with PPs:  (1) you do not ask and you are not involved and (2) the request is to see if anyone is interested in co-hosting (not "sponsoring").

    Here is my experience:  My SIL (brother's wife) offered to do my shower.  She talked to my mom and other SIL (DH's brother's wife).  Mom asked my MIL.  The four of them hosted together and the first SIL's house.  My involvement was as follows:  provided a list of dates I was available, confirmed the selected date, provided an address list of guests I wanted, showed up and greeted guests as they arrived, opened gifts, wrote thank you notes. 

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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    The only time I would give them her number ( or the other way around ) is if they asked if they host a shower for you.  I wouldn't want to put them on the spot or in an awkward position by saying "Hey, please help my future stepMIL throw a shower for me."

    If no one offers than step MIL will have to come up with the funds herself

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  • JontueJontue member
    imageEstwd2:

    imageEastCoastBride:
    Honestly, I don't know if I'd even proactively give her the numbers. Shes probably going to tell them exactly that "she gave me your number as someone who might cohost with me".

    I'd tell her "I don't feel comfortable asking anyone to cohost and no one has offered yet. If someone does, I'll have them contact you. "
     

    Yeah, this makes more sense to me. I'd feel a lot of pressure if I got a call from someone I didn't know well and she asked me to co-host with her. I don't like people giving out my number either. I'd wait and see if any other offers come up and then put them in contact with each other.



    Better idea to me.
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