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February 2012 Moms
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A little help would be nice...

MrMrsandBabyMrMrsandBaby member
in February 2012 Moms
I am so fed up with DH lately. There are so many reasons but because I'm on the mobile site I won't go into detail.

Basically I am "on" every single second Allison is awake except for the 30 minute I take to shower on the weekends. I have asked, told, hinted at things that need to be done but it is like talking to a wall. I'm honestly ready to just stop trying and do it ALL myself. I doubt he would notice.

I can't tell you how many times we have talked about him helping more. It works for about two days then we are right back where we started.

But of course, everything could be solved with sex. Riiiiiight. If anyone really believes that you are kidding yourself. Sex isn't going to make him get up with the baby on the weekends so I can sleep; or make dinner during the week so I can clean; or clean so I can make dinner.

I'm just venting...but I this.close. to just being done with even thinking I have a partner. It is more like a roommate...an annoying and dirty roommate.
Lilypie - (JrNi)

Lilypie - (y35Q)

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Re: A little help would be nice...

  • I'mGonnaMarryYouI'mGonnaMarryYou member
    I don't have any words of wisdom but wanted to show you my support. I'm sorry your DH has been sucking lately. Did you ever think about counseling? I don't think of counseling as a last resort but rather an outsider who will help the communication between two partners improve. Just a thought. Hang in there!!

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  • MrMrsandBabyMrMrsandBaby member
    I've mentioned it to him but he always says that we can do it ourselves. I may ask again soon though if things don't change. I know I can't be the easiest person to live with lately either so we could both benefit from it.
    Lilypie - (JrNi)

    Lilypie - (y35Q)

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  • Lena122Lena122 member
    H and I have had issues like this off and on since the baby was born. He has even come out and told me he feels like my roommate and not my husband. And honestly, I've felt the same at times. When I'm constantly responsible for the baby in addition to all the normal household chores I'm just too tired for sex and have no desire to make love to a man who is not showing me love by helping me with the day to day.

    Right now we're doing much better and I can really only attribute it to us hashing it out over and over. I've had to just suck it up and have sex with him when I didn't feel like it. I hate to make it sound like I don't want to have sex with him but it's just not a priority with a one year old consuming my life. That said, I've had to explicitly tell him when I need help or what I need help with and he does it.

    Communication is really the key.
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  • ALane1128ALane1128 member
    I'm sorry you're going through this. Even if he doesn't want to go to counseling, would you go by yourself? That way you can vent to someone and they can help you figure out how to handle certain situations. GL
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  • Shawnee11507Shawnee11507 member
    Are we married to the same man? This sounds like my life lately and when I ask for counseling (which we would have to find for free really), he says we can work it out ourselves and that counseling won't do anything. I also feel like he is my annoying unhelpful dirty roommate. We have been having some other issues too and I am thinking about taking a break and leaving for a week.
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  • danac2010danac2010 member
    I could have written the same post.  I ask, write a list, drop hints, etc and it's like he just doesn't want to listen.  I have started counseling on my own because he didn't think we needed it together and I have told the counselor that I'm pretty much done.  She is a marriage counselor so she is really pushing to help us fix the issues but I can't get him to come with me.  Plus if I do get him there and she says anything about what he is doing "wrong" he would just get up and leave so it would be counterproductive.  And his answer is also if he had more sex he would be more motivated to help me.  I know this answer is just his way to make me feel guilty that we aren't having sex like we use too and that is because he is not the attractive man I feel in love with, he is a lazy slob.
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