Hello everyone!
I am an egg donor, I had my first cycle in july 2012 and just started my second cycle.
I hadn't started hormones or anything at all..just barely finished my screening and we were about to move into legal.
Tuesday night I still hadn't started my period so I took a pregnancy test. And then another, and another. Then I bought a box of 4 and took those. I finally came to realize that the 2 little lines weren't going to be any different.
I went to the doctor the next day to have it confirmed.
Now that it is confirmed I feel as though I totally failed my Intended mom. She's a single woman who's been trying for so long..and I just feel so terrible. I can't shake the feeling that I have let her down! She hasn't found out yet, I can't get a hold of my agency but my fertility clinic knows. We're waiting on the agency before anyone tells her.
I was on birth control but we just looked at the packaging and it was expired in july 2010!
Someone please help me with the overwhelming amount of guilt I feel!
Re: I failed my IP's
It's nice of you to care and seek advice. My thought is to write her an honest letter to her via your agency. She is sure to be crushed, but knowing you obviously didn't intend this, and that you are heartfelt and sorry I know would make a huge difference if it was me!
Also, wishing you a healthy pg! Even if you didn't plan it, you have an amazing little gift in your belly :
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect.
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle
I had this happen to me with a donor that we planned to work with back in December. I was really angry, but I think that PP advice might be a good way to let her know that it wasn't intentional and that you still are thinking of the IP, even as you move forward with your own pregnancy. Although, I wouldn't expect any return communication-as she's likely angry, very angry.
This whole process can be very emotional and is no picnic from this side of the fence. Your IP will find another donor and move on, but now everything will be delayed while they start the process of finding and working with another donor. Once they find that other donor, your getting PG will just be part of their TTC journey.
Congratulations on your PG, wishing you a H & H 9 months!
I feel immensely guilty, and I know she's going to be so broken: