When you are out with only one of them?

jlefief · February 2013

When DH and I have to run errands on the weekends, we like to divide and conquer sometimes. We take turns taking a twin and it give us alone time with them.

I get excited when I get the "isn't she/he cute" attention when I only have one of them. Like they are being acknowledged as individuals, not just a set.

But lately I have notice myself bringing up that they are a twin. It's like I feel like the other one is getting left out. Sometimes I just smile and say thank you...but then I feel weird like I am leaving the other one out. Why do I feel the need to say "oh thank you, her/his twin is at home."

Ugh - does the guilt ever stop? Does the cheese stand alone on this?

shaunah816 · February 2013

I feel the same way. It's downright weird for me to have one of the boys with me and to have strangers stop to coo at him and tell me how cute he is. I feel like being a twin is so special, and I want other people to know that about him, even when he's alone. But I see your point about how it's great that the baby gets individual attention this way, I hadn't thought about it like that!

Kristi1971 · February 2013

I think I have only been out and about with just one of them maybe twice. I remember feeling the same way! Thanks for sharing. I don't feel so weird about feeling that way now.

kiwi443 · February 2013

I found myself doing the same thing (mentioning her twin). I've recently made an effort to stop doing it unless there is a specific reason to bring it up. And there usually isn't

. Even though my girls are young, I want to communicate to both of them that they are special apart from being twins. I know interaction with strangers is a very small piece of that, but it's something I've chosen to be purposeful about.

aprilsarahjune · February 2013

I always got that urge to explain the other one at home when they were little. One time the grocery bagger was walking me out to my car after asking a lot of questions about my baby, but I didn't divulge that my LO was a twin. The grocery bagger then started talking about how her co-worker just had preemie twins. I smiled and listened to the story. When she was unloading my groceries, however, she noticed the second carseat, so then I mentioned the baby at home. It made for a slightly awkward situation.

I also found that if I mentioned there was a twin, most people ignored the fact that the LO with me was so small. It was as if having small twins was NBD, but having one little preemie was something they couldn't get past.

MuseumMaven · February 2013

It's rare for me to have one out alone, but I often do the same thing. I must admit, for me it's plain old bragging. "You think he's cute? I've got another one at home that looks just like him! I have twice the cute babies you think I have!"

Temp123197812503460 · February 2013

MuseumMaven:
It's rare for me to have one out alone, but I often do the same thing. I must admit, for me it's plain old bragging. "You think he's cute? I've got another one at home that looks just like him! I have twice the cute babies you think I have!"

LOL, love this!

I also have a hard time not mentioning it, glad to hear I'm not alone. Like a pp said, I do want to make a point to treat them as individuals so I try

emilyec1 · February 2013

Haha, I do that too. I'm only 7 months into this, but my feeling is that the guilt will NEVER stop.

jlefief · February 2013

Guess it is pretty common. It's weird - like I hate getting TOO many stupid comments and feel gawked at sometimes. Though I do always love the attention and feel empty when it is not there. Stick out tongue

megs2011 · February 2013

I always mention her sister when I'm only out with one.

beany02 · February 2013

i have a twin sister and my feelings on this are that its important to acknowledge them individually. i cant tell you how annoying it is to have your identity wrapped up in another person your entire childhood. being a twin is great but its also great to be validated as your own individual person too.

macchiatto · February 2013

I know what you mean.

alice2Bcheshire · February 2013

kiwi443:
I found myself doing the same thing (mentioning her twin). I've recently made an effort to stop doing it unless there is a specific reason to bring it up. And there usually isn't . Even though my girls are young, I want to communicate to both of them that they are special apart from being twins. I know interaction with strangers is a very small piece of that, but it's something I've chosen to be purposeful about.

Same. I think it's important that each gets the chance to be recognized in his/her own right.

GeauxTigers82 · February 2013

I was just talking about this the other day! I feel the same way. I don't always like talking about the twin thing, but I feel weird not mentioning it when they're alone, like the other one doesn't exisit!

I also love when someone says how cute they are when they're by themselves! I usually feel like people comment because they're just facinated with twins.

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